The ghost

I never told my dad about Alex, he was my secret. Dad wouldn't approve of Alex because he has no mummy and daddy. One time I told him that I had no mummy. He just looked a bit sad. He always looks like that, a bit sad... He's my special friend though, and even though he leaves me, I know he'll always come back.

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3. Falling down

 "Lets climb." I jumped up, trying to put on a fake smile , "I really feel like climbing." I rushed with fake enthusiasm. He nodded. He always agreed to my ideas. That's why I liked him. He was fun. I carried on talking as we climbed higher and higher up the rocky surface, making up a story including all of the charms, trying to emerge myself in it... trying to forget. I wondered if he'd notice it as about the charms? I never looked down to him. The sea gulls still flocked the sky; that meant he was still here. "No higher, please," He said after a while. He sounded scared, and for the first time I looked back at him. He didn't seem scared. He looked fine. "Why?" I questioned. I'd never done that before. I just did as he said.

"You'll fall," Once realising he was worried about me, I brushed of the comment and carried on. "Please," His voice floated away in the wind. I looked down at his pale, worried face, "I'm fin-"

All of a sudden the ledge I had put my foot on broke, and movement surrounded me, my heart in my throat. No! no! no! I needed to hold on to something, anything! I clung on to a small rock, that jutted out, for dear life. There was just enough space for one person on it. I wondered if I could reach- I wouldn't make it, I was going to die. I was at least 10 metres in the air, and I couldn't see any thing to step on to hold my self up. My jeans were ripped and bloody where my legs had scraped the jagged charcoaled walls, as I fell, and the rock I was holding onto had already, painfully, sliced open my hands, which were screaming in agony.

 "Jooo!" Alex's voice was drowned out by the wind. The sun was gone, hiding in some far away place. I should of called out for Alex, or dad. But I didn't. "MUUUUM!!!". I screamed passionately, until my voice went hoarse. The sea gulls had gone, I was alone. The wind whipped my hair in my face and I was heaving and crying. Just trying not to fall. Please don't fall. My hands were tired and sore but I clung on. I didn't want too die, "MUUUUM!!!!"

I thought of my life. I don't know why. Its what people are meant to do, I guess. I lived on an island with my dad. An island I loved, but I was lonely. I'd never admitted that before. Before I met Alex I was lost. Well, not when my mum was alive... I only remembered her slightly. But it was enough. I would miss my dad. Even if he went a bit weird at times. I had nothing left to do so I said good bye to my charms on my bracelet. I considered letting go. It seemed like a good way to go, flying before I dyed. May be God would let me in to heaven, even though I wasn't religious and I said I didn't like him. I could see mum again. Dad wouldn't miss me... I don't think he loved me any more, anyway... I closed my eyes, so that maybe I'd fall asleep and I wouldn't feel it.

I remembered when my mum had died.  I don't remember much of her, but I know she read to me every night and kissed my knees better when I fell over. I know she used to home-school me, and I used to hate it. But now I would love her help, when I get sent my tasks and books from England.  I remember her hair. Not her eyes but her hair. When she held me, it would form a wall around my head. A water fall of golden light protecting me from every thing. Even my dad was happy when my mum was alive. I wish he was now. The last time a saw him smile was on my seventh birthday...

My mum, my dad and me were going to England again, like we used to always do. My dad had a small boat docked on the coast, and we used to use it for trips to the main land: it had a little cabin with two beds and a tiny kitchen as well. I remember, insisting on taking my quilt. I don't remember what it looked like, but I know that my mum loved it. It was all fine, the weather was cloudy- but fine. Then the storm came. My dad wasn't expecting it and the boat tipped. My dad held on. Me and my mum fell. Me and my mum were both being pulled apart, the tides like a million hands pushing me away from my parents. My dad had to chose who too save. He chose me. I don't know why...

That was the closest I'd ever come to dying. Not the part when I was in the water. But the part when we went back home. Medics from the main land had to come and treat me and then I slept for days- although my dad never told me exactly how long I slept. When I woke up my dad fell to his knees crying. He never cried. I was confused... was it my fault? When ever I asked him where mummy was, he would scream, so I just carried on shouting, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I spent a whole month like that... not knowing what I had done wrong. Now I know. If I could have held on, my mum would have been saved. Which is why I needed to hold on now. This was my second chance, I would not let go.

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