Kids with Guns

This is the first page/scene of a script I've recently been writing , tell me what you think !

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6. Scene 5 part 2 - the secret

 

Simon walks up onto the deck and finds jet staring into the horizon

Simon: “hey”

Jet: “oh, hey Simon, did you have a nice nap?”

Simon: “can’t complain, hey Jet, I was wandering, how come you’re so determined to kill this Mel Draiman guy?”

Jet: “IM NOT, god why does everyone keep asking that but to be honest I have my reasons, I’m not telling you though, I don’t want this mission to get personal”

Simon: “You know you can trust me”

Jet: “Can I really though?”

Simon: “of course”

Jet: “there was this little girl…only about 8, her, her sister, her mum and her dad were really happy together, but then things went wrong, her dad turned violent and started beating the little girl and her sister, and worst of all her mother. He’d stub out cigarettes on her arms and kick her over, but her mum got it the worst, he’d throw tables and chairs and stuff at her. Eventually the little girl’s mother called the cops and told them everything, the little girl, her sister and her mum stayed in a hotel for a few days until the cops took him away, and when they got back they found there house to be no more than a few charred planks of wood. Being homeless for 8 years a man called Ramone picked her up and gave her shelter and food and paid her mother into a good home and gave her enough money to get work, the little girls dad on the other hand broke out of prison and joined a war, this war”

Simon: “whoa, that’s deep, but what has that got to do with you and this Mel guy?

Jet: “holy crap your stupid…”

Simon: “so, that little girl was you… Wait… Mel’s your dad?”

Jet: “yep”

Simon: “I see. How come you’re so good at fighting if you were homeless?”

Jet: “When Ramone took me in, he trained me to fight and handle weapons; he took me in because he needed young fighters”

Simon: “okay, I think I understand now, killing your dad though? That must be such a tough job for you”

Jet: “not really, that bastard took everything I had and burned it to the ground in ten minutes without a care, he can rot in hell for all I care, he took my childhood and threw it into the dirt”

Angus: (walks out onto the deck) “suppers ready” (walks back down into the cabin)

Jet: (hugs Simon) “your amazing, anyway lets go, suppers ready, they will be waiting for us”

(Jet runs down into the cabin)

Simon: [under his breath] “I love you Jet” (walks down slowly into the cabin)

At the table:

Phoenix: “I’m so hungry I could eat my own hands” (stares at her own hands and licks her lips)

Hayden: (setting down plates) “dinner is served”

Everyone digs in and after dinner everyone stays at the table to talk and laugh and so forth

Jet: (thinking to herself) “I can’t let on that I have a personal relationship with the enemy, can I trust Simon? I think so… and when I hugged him, I felt so happy, do I like Simon?!”

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