Damn to hell!

When every women trows themselves at your feet, you feel happy and content. Then one they you see a boy walking and you catch his eyes and everything is suddenly only him, what do you do? Fight it or embrace it.

This is a slash story, meaning boy+boy, dont like dont read!


6. Thoughts


I have never been that scared in my entire life. When I came down stairs, with Aaron in my arms, everybody was looking at me. They kept moving around, fidgeting, like they didn’t know what to say, until Jake finally said something. “Soooooo…. That’s him, eeh?” He tried to come closer to get a better look, but I wouldn’t have anyone close to Aaron not even Jake. A growl broke free from me, gaining in volume when Jake got to close. He looked at me not even slightly scared, then finally backed away.

“Relax Paul, you’re close to phasing” He said is so softly I could barely hear it, but his eyes said it all. I hugged Aaron close to my body and could barely breathe without having him as close as humanly possible; just the feel of his small body close to mine and his slowly beating heart calmed me straight down. I glanced at the others and almost everyone didn’t want to look at me, maybe because they were scared that I would get mad again. They were right. I couldn’t stand the feel that anyone, not even my own brothers, looked at my naked imprint. Seth on the other hand looked with big brown eyes and smiled when he saw that I looked at him, he was totally oblivious to everything. I wasn’t scared of him; he didn’t even look like a man, he looked more like a cute little boy. Actually he looked just like Aaron, only with dark colors instead of the sun like colors my baby had. He wasn’t a threat. Seth almost looked curious at me and Aaron, but at that point I didn’t care.

“Paul, I think we have to talk” Jakes voice was low and calm, it was like he had taken over the role as alpha, but I knew it wasn’t like that. He didn’t care about the role as alpha; he just wanted to be a part of our brotherhood and not have to take the choices of our pack. Jake moved his head to indicate that we should go outside. I pulled Aaron closer to my body indicating that I was taking him with me; I wouldn’t leave him with those wolves.

We went outside and then a cold thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Jake was going to say something I wouldn’t like. Something I feared to hear, something that was going the kill a part of me. I sure hoped it wasn’t that part I thought it was.

“Paul, I’m sorry but you can’t stay with him” He said it. He said the very thing that killed my heart. Shit, he couldn’t take him away from me, he just couldn’t. “Jake, are you fucking kidding me!? You can’t keep me away from my imprint. I’ll go insane!” I whined like a small puppy, I know, but I would do anything to keep Aaron with me.

I would even beg on my knees if it helped.

“Paul listen to me, he is too fragile to suddenly know what we are and what happened. Paul he will break, for sure. Wait till he falls I love with you and then tell him. I’m just trying to help.” His voice was still calm, but he had a weird look in his eyes. Like he knew how I was feeling.

“I know!!! God dammit!!! Why the hell did I imprint on a boy who isn’t even from the Quileute clan, fucking typical!” I sighed and my shoulders slumped.  “I love him already but I can still stay close to him, right? I can be his friend for now.”

He sighed too, but then grinned and looked at me with a gleam in his eyes. “Sure, as his friend!” I grinned too, then suddenly Jake face fell and an expression of such sadness and agony came to view that I could feel his pain too. I pulled Aaron closer to my body and he sighed ever so gently and cuddled closer to my neck. I let a puff of air come out just to gather enough courage to ask Jake what was wrong.  “Jake, man” I shook his arm to get him to look at me “What’s wrong? You can tell me”. Jake looked as If he was close to crying. His face was so full of pain and his body looked almost like he couldn’t stand on his own two feet. “Paul, I’ve imprinted, but it’s a guy too” I could barely get my thoughts to make sense of what he just said.  I was happy at first; I wasn’t the only one who had imprinted on a boy. But then other thoughts came; why didn’t we know? Why didn’t he say it sooner? Then the most important thought came to my mind; why didn’t he tell us? I didn’t care that much about that I imprinted on a boy, you love who you love. Don’t care about the rest at all. I know it’s gonna get hard, but I can’t deny him. That would kill me at some point.

I think I look almost shocked, because his shoulders slumped and he was turning around, afraid of saying anymore.

I quickly moved and took a good grip on his arm so he couldn’t run away. “Jake who did you imprint on? Tell me, please?” I was begging again, but what the hell I don’t care. This was one of my brothers who were hurting and I wanted to help him.

“It’s… Seth” His voice was so low I could barely hear what he was saying, but I did. Now I couldn’t get myself to move, all of my limps were frozen into place. He looked so broken and then I knew why Jake hadn’t been himself for the last months.

He would always, when we were wolves, keep his thoughts for himself; he never included us in what was hurting him. The thoughts in his head could always get us to lie on the ground, whimpering in pain and agony. It may sound a little weird, but when your thoughts are connected like ours are all the time, even the smallest thing can get your feelings to fire up. We thought at first that it was just that Bella was a vampire now and to us she was dead. When it had happed Jake had been so mad that nobody even dared to get close to him, not even me and I was considered a hot head. A temper like a fucking bull.

But I was almost afraid of him, the thoughts he projected tormented me. One day Leah wouldn’t shut up about that Jake always was so down and maybe he needed someone to help him get his spirit back and he just snapped. We weren’t wolves then and he just phased right in front of all of us. They began fighting like rabies infected dogs, it took almost all of us too get him away. Leah didn’t say anything from that day on.

With Aaron in my arms, I walked straight up to him and just hugged him. Aaron whimpered a little from the pressure and I quickly stepped back and he let a little sound come out and snuggled closer. Shit, that boy was cute.

Jake was staring at me, his eyes an almost comical size. He started stuttering, trying to say something and then laughed, yup that fucker right out laughed at me. The laughter erupted like a fucking volcano and our laughter could be heard miles away, amazingly enough Aaron didn’t wake up. He was lost in his dream world and I hoped and wished that he was safe in those dreams.

When the laughter finally stopped, I looked Jake straight in the eyes.

“You have to tell Seth”, he tried to stop me from talking, but I interrupted him. “Wait till I’m finished dammit!” I sighed “Jake, he has the right to know and if you keep this up, you will fucking kill yourself” Maybe I was overdoing it  little bit, okay maybe a lot, but I was fucking trying to help him. He is my brother after all. “ I knooooow” He let the words draw out and made a kind of pouty face, like a child being corrected by its parents. I really seriously tried to keep it down, but for fucks sake seeing Jake, a man the size of a bulldozer pouting was fucking funny! We began laughing again, but this time more quiet. Jake suddenly stopped and stared, thinking about something.

“Who were those men? Something about them didn’t look right, but I don’t know what?” He was right something about them was wrong, something didn’t seem right. I shifted Aaron closer; you couldn’t get a piece of paper between us, just the way I liked it.

I suddenly saw something moving in the corner of my eye. A small whimper from someone gained volume and a cry of sorrow and pain penetrated the air. Both I and Jake stood ready to fight whatever made the noise, when a small figure came crawling out towards us. It slowly got itself on its feet and started walking slowly closer.

It was Aarons mother who was whispering under her breath. She kept chanting; “Don’t take my baby! Don’t take my baby boy!”

It almost hurt hearing her word of want and agony, because it was me she was begging to. She was begging me to give her Aaron. I began to growl again, gaining in volume every time she took one step closer.  Then I felt a warm hand touch my cheek and I stopped growling immediately, but the hand wasn’t as warm as me or any wolves so it couldn’t be Jake. I looked down and saw the one and only things that kept my heart beating. Aaron just stared at me, taking everything in every feature.  Then he looked over at his mother and started crying when he saw the look on her face.

“Mom I’m okay! Paul saved me” his voice was hoarse and could barely be heard, but she heard him clearly and ran screaming and crying into me. Her long arms were wrapped around me and Aaron, cradling us. I was bad at first; I really wanted to push her away, but Aaron cried until he passed out again.

She looked at me with the same eyes as his, begging and pleading just with her eyes. “I promise I’ll take care of him… Please I promise, just give him back to me” I straightened my hold on him, but her eyes kept begging me. “Fine!” I said and she smiled brightly.  “But you have to always keep him safe and if I find out that you didn’t then I don’t care at all if you’re his mom or not, I will find you and take him away again!” I knew that the very thing to take away from her that would hurt the most was her baby boy. There was only one GIGIANT problem; he was mine, nobody else’s. I would take him eventually.

She nodded quickly and started looking serious. Her voice was low when she finally started speaking. “I know I haven’t been the world’s best mom, but I’m going to do my best from now on.” A small frown grew and a look of pure regret came to view. “I promise you that and if I fuck it up again you can protect him. I don’t even know who you are, but I can see in your eyes that you care for him, maybe just as much as I do” Her eyes met mine and she looked fierce, but also like a mom who regretted everything. 

“Let me get him back to bed and then we’re going, but I’m going to come back tomorrow to check on him and take him to school, alright?” I and Jake started walking back, when I turned again and looked at her; she was clearly scared about something. “There is always going to be someone with him, don’t worry, we’ll keep him safe to” I smiled at her, maybe not a big one, but it was a smile. We just walked slowly back to the house and I just looked a bit around and saw there we weren’t that far away from the reservation.  I smiled bigger, because that meant that I wasn’t far away from my mate. The house came into view and it wasn’t that big, but almost kinda cute with big windows like eyes and big door.  The house was made out of dark wood and had an almost homey look over it. That was until you went inside. The walls were bare and were as impersonal as humanly possible, there were no picture, no reminders about the past, there was nothing.

I walked alone upstairs where the body of the man I nearly killed was gone, the guys properly kicked them all them out including him while I and Jake were talking.

The bedding was a little tousled, but all in all the room looked fine. The guys cleaned that up too.  I placed Aaron on the bed, tugged him in and kissed his forehead. I watched him closely while I walked backwards out of the room. Carefully not to his anything on my way then walked down the stairs to the others. They all stood together talking quietly. I saw how Jake always looked at Seth with a pained expression and every time someone would touch him he had a look on his face that told me that he wanted to kill whoever touched him. His hands were fisted and were trembling hard. I walked over to him, lay my hand on his shoulder and tried to get him to relax. It helped a little

.”Okay guys listen!” Jake’s voice was normal, but there was an underlying tone to it. “From now on, there is always one with Aaron. I’ll have Paul follow him around on school, but when he’s not whit Aaron then some of you guys will”

They all nodded understanding and then we went home. I could already feel the pull from my imprint but kept walking.

Shit, this was going to be hard, just staying his friend.

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