Damn to hell!

When every women trows themselves at your feet, you feel happy and content. Then one they you see a boy walking and you catch his eyes and everything is suddenly only him, what do you do? Fight it or embrace it.

This is a slash story, meaning boy+boy, dont like dont read!


7. A new start


My whole body ached, every time I moved the pain would shot through me, and it was almost like being hit by a whip. My mind was clouded; the mist wouldn’t disappear no matter what I did. I rubbed my face hard with the palms of my hands, but had to stop because of the pain that’s shot through my cheek. I winced and made a small sound from the pain, when I suddenly heard something moving and a cold hand that touched my cheek were it hurt.

I screamed and tried everything to get away. I didn’t know what it was; only that I needed to get away and that had to happen fast.  Time seemed slow from the point where I was laying with my back down on the bed till I had my back flush against the wall. Panic was the only thing on my mind and it wasn’t until I heard the small sobs from my mom that I came back to reality.

My mom was sitting on one of the chairs from the kitchen downstairs, with her face in her hands and she was crying hard. The choked “mom” that came out of my mouth didn’t even sound like me. Her head snapped up and she cried even harder if that was possible, her hands was reaching for me, but I shook from fear that she would hit me again. She let her hands fall down with a small defeated sigh.

“Baby boy? Are you alright?” The voice was low and sweet like a mom’s voice should be, but it seemed wrong coming from her. I just nodded to her question afraid to tic her off again.  Suddenly I realized that I was naked and pulled the duvet over me, but not before I saw the bruises covering my body. They were dark blue and some of them black, there was handprints shoving were the man had grasped me so forcefully. I started crying; mom tried to get closer to me, to hold me in her arms. I just couldn’t have her near me. I didn’t want anybody near me, not her of all people. I wrapped my arms around my legs and shielded my head behind my knees. I rocked back and forth, don’t ask me why. It’s actually a stupid thing to do; you look like you don’t have a brain when you do it. But the same continuous movement was calming; you actually didn’t have to think at all because you can just think about what you are doing.

I suddenly felt a warm couple of hands surrounding me, I first tried to get away, but the sheer terror and freight had me pinned into place. I was pressed against a warm soft chest, and suddenly a small sound came to my ears. A heart was beating loud and clear, at first it was so fast like a train that came running down the tracks, but then it slowed down when I put my arms around her. We both just cried in each other’s arms, just holding each other.

We didn’t think about the past or the future. We were just there, in the present.

She began to whisper to me, low apologies and explanations. She told me that after dad left everything didn’t matter anymore, because he was all to her. Her soul mate, the one and only. She had forgotten me, her only son. Then she said that she had dated a man with the wrong connections. The drugs started coming and the alcohol follow quickly afterwards. In her drug- and alcohol-filled brain was there only one thing that mattered and that was the numbness, the feelings that were hidden away. When all the money was gone, she had only me to pay the men back. It was the only option at the time she said, but then suddenly a man came running up with the look of sheer pain and rage. He had beaten the two big men she had talked to, but the man was bigger than anyone she had ever seen before. After that she couldn’t say much, because she had fainted from terror of the man that saved me.

The weird thing was though that I thought it was Paul, and she said it was.

My face went slack and my mouth dropped. I was a little crazy at that moment and began to laugh. That couldn’t be possible, he wouldn’t come anywhere near me.

“You should have seen him baby, I have never seen a man so angry, but so sad at the same time. He scared the crap out of me!” Her eyes went big, but at the same time she smiled knowingly. At the first time for ages I smiled at her, a real smile.

“Now come on baby, we need to get some food in you and then, if you want of course, wait till next week to go back to school” I almost jumped when she mentioned school. She must had seen the look on my face, because she gently pulled me in again and rocked me.

“You have nothing to be scared of sweetheart, there are people now that will look after you” Her lips moved again at the corners, she knew something that I didn’t. But I couldn’t think clearly because all I knew at that exact point was that my mom was back; she smiled the smile I loved so much and she had the gleam in her eyes again.

I almost jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen table which hadn’t been used in years.

The kitchen was kinda cute, when you thought about it. The walls were a light baby blue with pearly white curtains. Actually I should have said that it looked cute, the baby blue had turned yellow and brown in the corners and the curtains also a creepy, disgusting yellow. It was because all the smoke that had been circulating in the house and also because no one had cleaned for years, but there was something different today.

The walls shined with traces of soap. The strong smell of the clean curtains burned in my nose, but in a fantastic way. It was clean. It was fresh and new, or sort of.

I just began to laugh, maybe a little hysterical, because mom came running in took one look at me at started to laugh to. The whole house echoed with our voices, something that haven’t happened in a very long time.  Well maybe just a few days ago, but those voices were mad and scared. It seemed like a dream that it all was so perfect, like supernatural perfect. Yes I have seen that show, and I love it. Those two men are absolutely fuckable!

My mom started the food and the eggs and beacon began to sizzle on the stove. The aroma of food filled the whole house and my tummy began to growl like an animal. We both laughed.

“Okay, could you get the plates for me and some forks and knives?” I quickly gathered all the things and put them on the table, ready to get some proper food. We started to eat and just talked for the first time ever.  The day went quickly by and I was ready to get to bed.

My mom and I had talked all day, about anything and everything.

When we were done and I couldn’t get my eyes to stay open, I walked upstairs into my bathroom and stayed there under the hot water until it ran out. I hadn’t said it to mom, but the feeling of someone or something coming after me still had its claws in me. Even the bathroom door was locked and I had double checked just in case. I wrapped my arms around my body and tried to hold myself together. I still didn’t trust mom, but she had looked at me with such kindness and love that maybe she would be my mom again. When the thoughts finally stopped destroying my brain, I stepped out and dried myself off.

When I came in my room everything was clean and neat, when the hell had she cleaned my room? A small sound came from behind me and I nearly scream from terror, maybe he had come after me again? Maybe he wanted revenge? But a couple of warm small arms surrounded me and I felt safe and warm again, which was odd when you thought about what she had done to me. She gently guided me to the bed and put the duvet around me. She gently kissed my forehead and just before she closed the door a soft and sweet “I love you” came from her. Maybe I had said it many time, but for the first time… Maybe just maybe... was everything going to be all right.

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