Bullying Bieber

The situation: President Bieber has the USA enveloped and oppressed in a smooth, pre-pubescent iron fist. Only a small rebel army can take him down- but the leader has a mysterious past...
NOTE: this movella is slightly longer than some of my others, but i think if you persevere, it may actually be quite fun to read. Any 'Beliebers' who want to complain about the derogatory style are free to do so... i just won't care.


8. The Battle

Rud, Half pint and Akira strode twards the Whitehouse. No one stood in their way. Civillians had hidden themselves in their home, escaping the conflict. But secretely, they wanted the Uprising to win. Presidnet Bieber had been oppressive, violent, abolishing human needs and rights, and forcing the population to bend to his will. And now, as the sun was setting in Washington, Rud, Half pint and Akira were hell bent on killing him.

They heard the Beliebers before they saw them. They were lined up, in front of the Whitehouse, chanting, 'Bieber! Bieber! Bieber!' Rudd stopped the other two, as they hid in a crop of dense foliage.

'The plan,' he gruffly spoke. 'Find some cover. And shoot. Take out as many as you need. If you need help, signal on the comm. And just hope that we win.'

Half pint adjusted the nozzles on his flamethrower, readying them for use. Rudd checked his assault rifle ammo belts. Akira positioned her bipod on a bank of rocks, steadying the sniper rifle.

'I'll do what i can,' she said, 'but these guy's are a lot harder to kill than pigeons. Although they are more intelligent.'

They broke into laughter, as if sensing that it soon could all be over. Then Rudd stepped forward, and fired.

Half pint and Rudd dived behind the trees, rolling away. The gunfire was everywhere, spreading out like a deathyl plague. Hundreds of Beliebers fired, reloading at different times, so the stream of bullets was almost constant. Half pint poked a hand out and squeezed, seeing a jet of fire rush forward, claiming some Belibers. But their hgunfire became stronger. The bullets chipped at the rocks and trees. Akira fired, taking out more Beliebers, but they zoned in on her, peppering the rocks with bullets. She recoiled, diving to the floor. Half pint tried to release another stream, but a bullet collidied with the nozzle, which flew off.

They were trapped. The Beliebers showedno signs of letting up. Half pint and Akira turned to Rudd. For something ,some insturctions, anything. But his face bore no expression. He didn't know what to do. Akira fired again, but once more bullets flew towards the rocks, and one burrowed deep into her arm. She recoiled, crying out in pain.

And then a shell flew over their heads, and landed in the middle of the Belibers, exploding with immense force. Fire tore out of the ground, ripping through their ranks, killing thirty Beliebers and injring many more. Rudd, half pint and Akira turned to see a mini tank.

The mini tank. From Mr Sushi's.

And inside of it... Sara smiled, firing machine guns at the Beliebers, scattering them, breaking up their ranks. Bullets hit the shell, but the tank was armoured with five inches of titanium, and a tungsten layer. The bullets bounce off, clanging and scraping, doing little damage.

'And you guys thought we shouldn't get this!' crackled Sara on the comm. 'Oh, and by the way... I brought some friends.'

The sound of shouting and thousands of shoes on the hard ground thundered through the air. The Beliebers stopped shouting, stopped firing, and stared, dumbfounded, at the scene before them.

Thousands and thousands of civillians, the oppressed, the bullied were tearing towards them, brandishing pitchforks, wooden planks, baseball bats, pellet guns, bricks, slingshots, anything they could get their hands on. One man had even atached fireworks to his ride on lawnmower, and was firing them towards the Beliebers. Confusion hit their ranks. They were unauthorised to kill civillians. The elites and the officers brought them round, holding their fire, not knowing what to do. The civillians ran forward, and seeped into the Beliber ranks, hacking at them, kicking, punching, biting, stabbing, (mowing), crushing them uder the sheer numbers. Rudd signalled to Half pint, Sara and Akira, and they ran around, past the mass of civillians and Beliebers, and pushed through the doors to the Whitehouse.

Five Belibers greeted them, but Rudd and Sara fired pistols, killing them instantly. They broke up; Rudd and Akira went to the left, Sara and Half pint to the right. Rudd and Akira ran up a set of opulent stairs, mud staining the immaculate burgundy carpet. Rudd pulled out a knife and tore into paintings of President Bieber, knocking over statue, Akira fired at a Belieber, then Rudd at another. They cotinued forward, pushign through a bank of double doors, firing at Beliebers. Then they turned a corner, and ran into Sara and Half pint.

'Guys,we've found the President's room!' shouted Sara.

They tore down the corridor. Three Beliebers, jogged around the corner, but Akira and Sara fired at them, and then Half pint pushed through double doors, leading to a small corridor. With a door.

The President's door.

Rudd pushed through, his hand gripping his pistol, just as President Bieber leapt into a helicopter, which began to shakily ascend.


Rudd steadied his aim, and tensed his finger, pulling the trigger. The bullet soared across the room, cracking through a large glass pane, swivelling and spinning, and pushed through the soft flesh of President Bieber's neck, embedding itself in his jugular vein. President Bieber slumped to the floor, blood squirting from the laceration, and rolled out of the helicopter, landing with a heavy thud on the ground below.

He was dead. Outside, the last few Belieber's were being picked off. Sara threw her arms wide and picked Akira up, holding her aloft in an embrace of happiness, Half pint began to torch the room, chuckling to himself as he melted the groin of President Bieber's statue, and Rudd knelt down, letting the tears flow freely from his eyes.

And, for the first time in his life, they were tears of happiness.          

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