Bullying Bieber

The situation: President Bieber has the USA enveloped and oppressed in a smooth, pre-pubescent iron fist. Only a small rebel army can take him down- but the leader has a mysterious past...
NOTE: this movella is slightly longer than some of my others, but i think if you persevere, it may actually be quite fun to read. Any 'Beliebers' who want to complain about the derogatory style are free to do so... i just won't care.


6. And THAT'S why you should go to church

The Priest walked towards the organ, hearing the distant rumble of the elite Beliebers. It was dark inside, with only a few candles flickering lazily in the dank, musty room, throwing long shadows onto the walls. The Priest pulled a large cross off of the wall, about the height of himself, and set it down, patting it like a puppy with large, broad hands. He sighed slowly, looking around at the church. President Bieber had allowed religious institutes to subsist, but only if they preached of his excellence and domination. The Priest had never liked him intruding on the true message of the Bible.

But now he would get his own back.

The Priest pulled another large cross off of the wall. It was heavy, much heavier than the first, and a metallic pinging could be heard from within. The sound of the elite Beliebers entered his ears once more, although much louder and much nearer. They would soon be there. Rudd, Sara and Half pint had gone out of the front, and were stationed arund the church. Akira had gone up to the roof, sniper rifle and, just in case, pistol in tow. Their job was to defend themselves. The Priest's job was to defend the church.

'We have visual. Repeat, we have visual,' fizzed the voice of Rudd on the comm. 'About half a mile away. Guys, this is it... they will not force us. They will stop degrading us. They will not control us. We will be victorious. So come on!' 

The Priest smiled just as the first sounds of gunfire began to crackle. He picked up the lighter cross, slung it over his shoulder, and stepped forward.


The priest fell back as a chunk of the church was ripped away in a violent explosion, fire tearing through the stone, throwing up an immense cloud of dust. The Priest could see outside; hundreds of elite Beliebers stood, armed with an array of weapons. Sara and Half pint were out of sight, but Rudd stood behind a row of bin he had pulled together, firin his assault rifle desperately. A single turret swivelled around, preparing to bombard the church with another explosive round. The Priest grimaced in anger, then swivelled the top of the cross twice, hearing a click. Pulling off the top, he opened the second cross and took out a rocket, pushing it into the first cross, and slinging it onto his shoulder. He steadied himself, then pressed a nodule on the wood. A rocket wooshed out of the end of the cross, and flew towards the group, colliding with a huge BOOM! A large group of Elite Beliebers were thrown out of the way, limbs tearing off with the force of the explosion.

The turret turned to the Priest and fired. Quickly, the Priest ran, just as another round exploded behind him, sending shards of wood from the Nave flying through the air. The Priest ran back behind the organ, pushing another rocket into the hollow cross. Swiftly, he fired again. The rocket exploded once more, part of the blast stinging the turret. But once more, the turret swivelled to face the Priest. It was no use. The RPGod wasn't powerful enough.

Smirking wildly, the Priest sat behind the organ, seeing the turret slowly swivelling towards him. He wiggled his fingers clicked his knuckles, and reached over to the side of the organ. A small dial twisted in his large fingers, once, twice, thrice, until a metal clanking reverberated from within the organ. The Priest placed his fingers to the keys and began to play. The sound echoed out of the church, bouncing off of the walls. Several elite Belibers turned to face the Priest, as others fired or were shot. The Priest played the notes rythmically, singing along '... it's time the, fat cats had a heart attack, you know that, their time is coming to an end, we have to, unify and watch our flag ascend...' . The pipes began to quiver, and were bent at the top, so they faced the elite Belibers. Suddenly, the pipes clanked, and out of three pipes, a grenade flew out, soaring towards the elite Belibers. They collided with the loudest explosion the Priest had ever heard, tearing through their ranks. Smiling, the Priest continued to sing, firing grenades out of the organ pipes.

And you thought religion was dull.

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