Sorry

Helen cannot escape Taylor and her endless taunts.
Taylor cannot escape herself and the monster she has become.

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2. 2:Taylor-Cowardly

I pouted in front of the mirror and applied some shiny red lip gloss. But I avoided looking at my reflection, I tried never to look at myself any more, at the monster I was. I knew what I was going to see anyway. A long, lean body which I kept in top condition by jogging and cycling. Short pale brown hair with blond highlights, that I had gotten after much encouragement from my friends. Two inches of skirt and an untucked shirt, with a face that looked confident, popular and pretty.

My phone vibrated next to me, Amy wanted to get to school early, to catch Helen when she got to school. I groaned, reluctant and unwilling to torture her any more. Couldn't I have one day when I could be nice?

But I had to keep it up, or I would go back to being nothing. Where people's eyes skimmed over you in the corridor, where you were plankton on the school food chain. I couldn't, I wouldn't go back to that. People liked me now. But is that what you really want? a part of me asked? Yes, the more selfish part of me said, the part that persuaded me to get the blonde streaks, or to splash out on a new dress. No, said the part of me I tried to push down inside me, that made my eyes glisten with tears whenever I pushed someone over, or made a catty comment over my shoulder.

My bag was pulled over my shoulder as I straightened up and strode to the bus. I never had breakfast any more, no-one fat was popular, though my stomach rumbled longingly when I saw someone with a sandwich. I met Amy and Imogen at the bus stop, who were talking animatedly. I hugged them, trying not to grimace from their cloying perfume. The same perfume I wore everyday, just to fit in.

We sat on the bus, chatting about random things from the holidays, and as I talked mindlessly, I hoped that they'd forgotten, that we could stop ruining Helen's life. But the world was against me, as it always was, "Guys, I happen to know that Helen will be going to her locker first. Lets go catch that little nerd," Amy crowed delightedly. I wasn't surprised, she had sources everywhere, so that she constantly knew what was happening. I didn't want to do this, but I had to. I had to stay at the top.

"Yeah!" I agreed "It'll be wicked."

We strolled up to the empty school, it was so early, the normally crowded playground was practically empty. I followed them wordlessly as they went inside the building, laughing about their latest idea to prank Helen. We rounded a corner, and there was Helen, frantically stuffing books in her locker, all alone in the normally crowded corridor. Right, I said to myself, time to do what you do best.

Pretend.

I walked behind her unsuspecting form and grabbed her bag, pulling my penknife out of my pocket and making a slash down the front, books, stuff falling out as I threw it to Imogen, who gleefully caught it and emptied the contents of it over the corridor floor. The apple juice I'd taken from her bag was clutched in my hand and I opened it, letting it gush over all of her stuff, the sticky juice coating her books and soaking the pages.

"I'm surprised you came back to school, you little retard! No-one wants you here anyway, why don't you just go die!" I forced the words out of my mouth, hating every single one.

Looking down at the sticky mess below me, I saw a drawing sodden, the colours running across the tiled floor. No. I couldn't have done. Could I? I was in her art class, and we had a project in for today. Knowing Helen, she would have spent weeks on it, and I'd just ruined it. I stared, open mouthed, until Amy grabbed my wrist and pulled me away, laughing, "That was epic Taylor! We should so do that again!".

I sneaked one look back, as we walked away laughing. Helen stared at me, tears pooling in her clear blue eyes. I wanted to run over, hug her, redo her project, whatever it did to say 'Sorry'. But I turned back round and walked away, wishing every step was in the other direction.

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