Always for her

She moved slowly, like her muscles wouldn’t work quickly enough. She wiped a strand of red hair out of her brown vacant eyes, she looked like she was falling and struggling to focus. I wrapped her hands around mine, ruined and cut. Her hands where slow and unmoving as she watched up into my watery eyes. My stomach’s tossing; I look into her eyes as she smiles uncharacteristically,
“I’m sorry, Lilac.” She whispered croakily in small quick gasps, her voice stuttering and her eyes attempting to smile, her cracked lips began to bleed. I nodded,
“No, Hope. Stay still.” I say worriedly, propping her head up with ripped bloody jacket, pushing her shoulder down slightly but firmly. She nodded hesitantly; the bloody gorge in her stomach stopped her chest from moving in and out. I don’t want to cry, I am strong. I was strong. But seeing her dying face in my ruined arms, made my heart collapse. She was the closest thing I had to hope, and now she was dead. Her name, Hope. I knew once she smiled


4. Objection to Faith


We where being called to the main hall, I knew what it was about. It was who we would be fighting and where. Some of the girls seemed almost excited, but I knew the truth. It was a death sentence to all; a game for the leaders, to watch there teams fight and then die. I changed into my dullest outfit; I felt I might as well act mournful. I put on my dirty blue shirt and my brown cardigan and jeans. I pulled on my satchel and headed down to the hall alone. I wondered where Hope was. We went in, in an order. The hall was a boring room, with a stage and four large windows which where now covered with long blinds. I sat on a hard wooden bench towards the front of the lengthy soundless hall. Worriedly some of the girls glanced at me, confused my eyes trailed to the floor and suddenly became interested in the sculptured tiles that wove around my feet and under the bench. They seemed to tell a story, the only interesting thing in the room. But my thoughts where shattered by the bash on the mullet. Mrs Roland, Head Instructor, she was holding an old book. It had a tattered cover and thin layers of dust. She was wearing all grey; the only colour was on her shoes, which and a slither of blue traced around them. Her hair was scrapped back of her tight prim face and curled in a neat bun on the top of her thin face. Her lips where a pale red, her eyes a glazing amber and her cheeks a pale white. She had a feel about her that made your knees shake and your lip tremble; she was also the head of discipline. 

“Girls. Please silence.” She said raising once clean pale hand, the hall fell silent and you could almost hear the humming of the water pipes. Beside each line was an instructor, they where wearing their Sunday outfits – the smartest in their wardrobe, I didn’t understand why. I glanced around at the other girls, they where all wearing similar to me. It was the weekend so we where allowed to wear what we wanted, classes didn’t start until four any way.

“You all understand we will be fighting on the fourth of May. In three weeks time. The fight will start at the old Hartfordshire field.” She paused, Hartfordshire was a field surrounded by nothing but rivers and woods. My stomach tossed, we would be fighting with now where to escape “barbed wire will be holding you in” she said, I knew it. We wouldn’t escape even if we had to die in there “your enemies are the Canterany School for Young Men.” That was when I yelled out.






I rember the day distinctly, I was wearing a pale yellow dress with a frilled hem and a thin lace petticoat that made me feel free and younger. My hair was twisted and lay on my back in an elegant style that I had managed myself, I needed to look presentable, I had my satchel slung around my shoulder. I had managed to escape before the other girls woke; it was Sunday so they wouldn’t miss me. I was hungry, clambering over the walls and then I reached the barbed wire, sneaking through I made it to the hills. There I paused and nibbled on my cold stale bread that I had been saving for later, hungrily I scoffed it down but yet it didn’t fill my extremely empty stomach.


Starting again, not wanting to be late back to school I began walking in the direction towards the village, I had only entered there twice and I was now slightly worried whether I would find the mill. Reaching the village, I noticed man selling bread. I inhaled the smell; my feet seemed to carry me in the direction of the stall. I was small and quick, so I managed to grab three small rolls and stuff them into my satchel. Fortunately for me nobody noticed, hurrying forwards I noticed a woman selling jam. I thought carefully, allowing my mouth to water at the thought of the sweet strawberry jam I had once tasted many years ago. Unable to help myself, I grabbed a small pot and shoved it quickly into my pocket. Again nobody noticed, smiling mischievously to myself I managed to slip out of the scene unnoticed. I grinned and decided I would eat my bread and jam in piece. There where four buildings they had been ruined in a fire, but the remains still stood sturdily. Ducking in, I climbed up through the burnt house and scrambled up the stairs, careful not to get any black stains on my dress. I positioned my self on the window ledge in the far room, placing my satchel beside me; I dangled my legs out the window and coated my still warm roll with jam. Nibbling away, I was unaware of the footsteps behind me. Tasting the sweetness of my jam, when the person cleared there throat I almost fell out the window.

“Sorry, I don’t know people lived here.” I said not bothering to move. His face startled me; I was stunned

Surprised I made my lips move. His eyes where amazing they sparkled in the light; his skin was pale and his structure sturdy.

“I don’t. What are you doing here?” he asked, I laughed

“What does it look like?” I demanded, he sighed annoyed

“You’re considerably stupid considering, I could kill you.” He said smartly. This made me smile,

“Oh really?” I challenged, he sighed and turned away. In one swift moment, my bow and arrow where in my hand, my fingers danced across the string. He turned back around a knife in his hand; I smiled and lowered my bow. His eyes glinted

“Your Lilac. I’ve heard about you.” He said grinning. I smiled at him,

“And your?” I asked, he grinned

“Lloyd.” He said smiling, slotting his knife back into his leather belt. I lowered my arrow

“Urm. How do you know me?” I asked confusion was skating through my eyes.

“Never mind.” He said quickly. I blinked confused

“Where do you get schooled? You’re handy with a knife.” I say, smiling

“Canterany School for Young Men” Lloyds eyes flashed, making my stomach toss.






My voice echoed through the massive hall, unable to control my feelings, I had broken the code. I had spoken, I was sure to be killed. But I didn’t care.

“Miss Kendie is there a problem?” my mentor hissed from the end of our row, but her question was a waste of breath.

“We can’t fight them.” I yelled, my voice was quivering. Mr Roland simply smiled

“Yes, dear. We can, we can fight anyone.” there was the nod of heads across the room. I felt a strong urge to break something. I couldn’t hurt Lloyd. I was strong, tough but something inside me about Lloyd made my stomach collapse

“I am sorry, Miss Kendie but it the rules.” She said perusing her lips shut in sheer annoyance. I shook my head

“Rules?” I demanded, she clicked her heals nosily, grasping the attention of every student in the hall, not that a head was turned in the opposite direction, this rarely happened at my school.

“Yes, in every fight there is a list of rules” she explained, everyone’s eyes where now watching

“Well, look here. Lets change a rule, one of students has officially dropped out.” And I fled from the hall. I had a feeling nobody attempted to stop me, I was delaying them anyway. I moved quicker in case anyone did follow me, I wanted to loose them instantly, so I took three sharp turns and then hurried down a secret passage and then out through the barbed wire. I didn’t stop running until I reached the waterfall and I almost expected her to be there.

“I didn’t know.” Hope whispered. I nodded and settled down opposite her and removed my shoes, slipped off my socks and tucked them in my leather boots and dangled my feet into the cold running water allowing it to rush through my toes making me shiver slightly but it was nice. I watched Hope; I could almost see her mind working.

“You met him. That day, before training.” She explained, I nodded and grinned and didn’t want to mention the fact that it was yesterday. It seemed ages ago. I watched her

“Yeah.” I whispered, feeling I ought to say something. She nodded and ran her fingers through her red hair which sat like a curtain over her, “When did you find out?” I asked, she squirmed uncomfortably

“Yesterday. Before training.” She said, I blinked

“And you didn’t think to inform me?” I demanded slightly hurt. She shook her head

“No. well I didn’t think you knew anybody from there. We aren’t supposed to leave the grounds.” She said slightly offended. I huffed and didn’t move as I wondered if she knew any more information

“How did you find out I knew Lloyd?” I asked, she winced as if bracing for a hit and pointed at my satchel. I blinked, now I was furious

“You went through my bag!” I demanded, she looked at me her brown eyes now looked hurt

“No! It fell out when you pulled your bow and arrow out!” she demanded, I knew what she was talking about. It was a letter, asking to meet up. Yesterday. I looked at her and nodded and tried not to look into her eyes. I sighed and then shook my head

“They are properly looking for me.” I said attempting to ease the tension that was strung before us, it was almost visible. She sighed gently, I could hear her breathing

“I don’t want to fight.” She said, ignoring my comment. I nodded

“Neither do I. But what choice do we have?” I said watching her eyes. She paused  “We could run.” She said, I shook my head

“No. that would show weakness and we would be killed.” I said not even considering the thought of leaving Lloyd. She nodded understanding instantly

“Then we must fight.” She said her voice quivered her lip trembled. I smiled slowly at her

“How do you know Lloyd?” I asked, she hesitated and then sighed whipping her hand on her raw cotton sleeve and then looked at me. Her eyes were red and blotchy, it was clear she had been crying. I watched her as she began to speak

“My parents died in 1999 I lost them at the age of six. I was pushed of to an orphanage where I met a boy. His eyes where blue, his tousled blonde hair and pale skin. He had a slender posture and stood before me with a vacant expression. I cried on my first night, I wasn’t one to mourn I was one to smile and grit my teeth no matter how hard it pained me to breathe, but he calmed that when I saw his face I was relaxed. I built up the courage to speak to him. I found him alone in a small garden, it was pretty. But he watched me and we didn’t speak. But I knew we where friends.” She paused and allowed me to adjust. I felt fury and rage, Lloyd was mine. But she hesitated I could tell the story hadn’t finished “We came here together. We parted and then the next time we met he was dazed by a girl. With long brown plaited hair, who he had met in a ruined burnt down building. We argued, I thought he was mine and I thought he loved me, I was only eleven but after five years of him to myself I was scared. I haven’t spoken to him since.” She said tears where in her eyes. I knew she cared, the girl with the braid’s, the burnt down building, that was all me. I met with him every Sunday for the last four years. We where closer than siblings, yet her never told me how he felt. I jumped up, slinging my satchel around my shoulder I stood up

“Where are you going?” Hope asked, but she already knew the answer “Okay, but be back before dawn. I’ll cover for you until then.” She explained, hopping across the small trickling stream and she stood beside me.

“Explain everything.” She says her eyes fell into mine. I nodded

“Yes. Of course.” I said, I knew the way through to the boy’s dorms. I shouldn’t be long, but I thanked her any way. That way I could talk to Lloyd without worrying too much. I grinned and hugged her to my surprise, and then with out another word I headed off in the opposite direction. 

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