Always for her

She moved slowly, like her muscles wouldn’t work quickly enough. She wiped a strand of red hair out of her brown vacant eyes, she looked like she was falling and struggling to focus. I wrapped her hands around mine, ruined and cut. Her hands where slow and unmoving as she watched up into my watery eyes. My stomach’s tossing; I look into her eyes as she smiles uncharacteristically,
“I’m sorry, Lilac.” She whispered croakily in small quick gasps, her voice stuttering and her eyes attempting to smile, her cracked lips began to bleed. I nodded,
“No, Hope. Stay still.” I say worriedly, propping her head up with ripped bloody jacket, pushing her shoulder down slightly but firmly. She nodded hesitantly; the bloody gorge in her stomach stopped her chest from moving in and out. I don’t want to cry, I am strong. I was strong. But seeing her dying face in my ruined arms, made my heart collapse. She was the closest thing I had to hope, and now she was dead. Her name, Hope. I knew once she smiled


5. Goodbye


It was about three miles away, but I walked fast for a small person like me. It took me about forty five minutes. I reached the back of the gates and tucked myself behind a tree, scrambling up I perched in the highest point and curled my legs under, so I was covered by a bush of leaves. Pulling out an old whistle Lloyd had given to me, I blew on it twice and then waited. I was waiting for about ten minutes before the gates opened and Lloyd appeared. Leaping out of the tree I landed beside him

“Care for a walk?” he asked, I nodded and smiled worriedly. We walked for about five minutes without me saying anything and then I paused and inhaled the fresh unfummed air and turned to Lloyd

“Our school is fighting you.” I blurted. He paused and then nodded

“Yeah. I found out before I met you yesterday for your birthday.” He explained, I felt as though someone had slapped me across the cheek and glared at him

“Oh and you didn’t bother to mention it?” I hissed annoyed, he smiled

“It was your birthday, Lie.” He said, I paused and then glanced at him. I didn’t really know where I was now; I sat down on a stump and looked at him confused. He hesitated before sitting beside me, I really only wanted to talk so it took me by surprise when he kissed me. His lips moved soothingly against mine, his hands lingered on my back, his hands in my hair, he didn’t hesitate, and his soft kiss stunned me. Drawing away, he looked into my eyes. I blinked in bewilderment and then looked away. His hand guided me to his face

“I just wanted to say goodbye.” He whispered, I could see he was trying hard not cry, I kissed him quickly on the lips and then smiled sadly a tear trickled down my cheek

“This can’t be goodbye.” I whispered, linking my fingers through his. He nodded

“It has to be.” He replied. Then in one swift movement he was kissing me again. This time it was tenderer and more meaningful. I smiled and pulled away, tears falling down quicker now

“I know.” I whispered, drawing away I pulled my satchel over my shoulder and walked away, I could feel his eyes following me as I started up the hill, I turned around to say one more goodbye but he was gone.







My lips tingled as I crawled into my bed, the firm sheets under my back made my skin crawl, so I tucked my jacket under me and curled up on it whilst I thought of Lloyd, a tear trickled down my cheek as I smiled in the darkness.


I was woken with a start, my shoulder ached and my knees where weak my eyes fluttered open, they where gritty and uncomfortable. I pulled on my jacket, over my bed robes and splashed some water onto my face and sat down on my bed, I checked my schedule that was tucked in the curve of my bed. Opening it I realised I didn’t have training until two o’clock. Some of the girls where already up having training already, I noticed Hope was up. I didn’t bother to curl back up in bed as I was already cold. Pulling on my waterproof trousers and my plain black jumper, lacing up uncomfortable leather shoes and tied my hair up, I was hungry so after I had made my bed and tied my belongings I rushed down to the dining hall. It was quieter than usual. Usually there were hushed whispers and the occasional free chat, but today none of that was happening. I slumped down at the end of the bench and looked unwillingly at my small helping of gruel. Dipping in the hard bread, I drank and finished the grub. I was worried, and when I was worried I preferred to be alone. This time I didn’t run away from my fate I went towards the ‘teachers’ end of the school. They each had small offices with name plaques. I wondered down the corridor to Mrs Rowland’s door and then with all the courage inside of me I knocked. The movement could have been dumb, but I needed to speak to her.

“Come in.” The voice was sharp and prim. I composed my self, and entered. Her office smelt of burning lavender and cheese, which shocked me. By my entrance it shocked her.

“Oh, Miss Kendie.” She said her lips straight firm line. I nodded and before I could stop myself I spoke, stupidly

“Lilac.” Mrs Rowland smiled to my utter revelation.

“I think Miss Kendie is okay with me.” she supposed, I personally couldn’t help but agree, but she gestured to a impassive seat opposite her. I smiled and settled down. We didn’t speak for a minute; she dismissed her work setting it aside and then turned to me

“You have joined me today because?” she asked, her glasses sliding down her nose. I nodded

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a disruption. I hardly know them,” I lied quickly to cover up my mistake “But I do feel its wrong. But again there is nothing I can do. I just wanted you do dismiss my feelings, I am prepared to fight.”  

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