Out of Reach

This is a story of a teenage romance which blossoms into something beyond beautiful. It has twists and turns, where a young couple fall in and out of love with each other and other people. How do their lives pan out in the end though?


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4. Trouble

 

I wake up without knowing I fell asleep. I stretch out and rub my eyes, expecting to see my bedroom, and to run down stairs and tell my family what a strange dream I have had. Instead, I stretch out, rub my eyes and see a blue and black bedroom. I turn my head and find Nate staring at me. His golden hair is all tasselled and curly at the back but straight at the front, perfectly cute.     

   “Good morning.” He says sweetly, his voice is still a bit croaky. He yawns and gives me a small smile.     

   “Hello.” I reply. The feeling of devastation subsides, and is replaced with the feeling of being wanted.    

   “Do you believe in soul mates?” He asks from out of the blue.    

   “Urm... yeah, I guess.” I’m still quiet, and I have to say that my reply isn’t very convincing.    

   “Don’t get creeped out, but, I think me and you are, ya know, soul mates.” He says, awkwardly.    

   “What? I... I’m fifteen!” This wakes me up, and I realise that Nate’s a creep and I shouldn’t be doing this.    

   “Yeah but you are paired with someone as soon as they pop into the world. You just have to find them.” He just got some cheese, spread mouldy cheese on top and put it in between 2 slabs of bree.     

   “No Nate. Whatever I said last night, I can’t remember, the kiss was just a kiss. I and you are not meant for each other. Dylan is the one for me.”I say, and I stand, again, sorting out my dress.    

   “But he broke your heart, I fixed it.” No he did not fix it! He’s right about Dylan breaking my heart though. I can’t admit it now. I said I couldn’t remember anything. What a horrible thing to say. I’m a bad person. Wait! No I’m not! I am just saying how I feel. Am I? Oh god, I’m confused. I can’t think whilst we are breathing the same air. It suffocates me.     

   “You love me; I can see it in your eyes when you look at me.” He says. He is so full of himself. Anyway, why do slime balls suddenly stalk me from out of the blue and gorgeous amazing people turn me down?   “You do, don’t you?” he persists.  

   “No! I don’t!! I don’t know you, I can’t love you!” I say fiercely. I don’t look at him, instead stand facing the wall.    

   “Yes. You can.” He beams at me and kisses me. I grow dizzy. My heart sprouts wings and flaps hard inside my chest. A cloud blows over my mind and sweeps my memory away, Dylan; gone, my dad; gone, Jason; gone. The world starts shimmering a whole new light; faded red patterns are swirling round when I close my eyes. Yet again, I feel like I’m walking on air, every step I take. We pull away from each other, leaving behind the stars. “I can’t love you.”I say.     

   “What’s up?” He asks.    

   “Dylan.”    

   “What’s he done?”     

   “Him and Alicia, well, they’re kind of an item.”    

   “We are aren’t we?”    

   “No?”    

   “I want us to be.”     

   “Urm... Okay then.” I say. He beams a big smile at me and kisses me, yuck! If I can’t stand the guy, then when we kiss, why do I feel this way? I grow dizzy. My heart sprouts wings and flaps hard inside my chest. A cloud blows over my mind and sweeps my memory away, Dylan; gone, my dad; gone, Jason; gone. The world starts shimmering a whole new light; faded red patterns are swirling round when I close my eyes. We pull away from each other and he’s still smiling at me, his pearly white teeth are perfectly straight. Then I realise that I’m smiling, so much that my cheeks begin to hurt. I try to stop but I can’t. My hearts is still flapping hard, trying to fly free from the caged in, bloody surroundings, enclosed light and darkness around it.    

   Nate stands up from off his huge bed and opens the curtains. The sun is bright but quite low down in the sky. I check my watch and its half past eight. His hair is tasselled and he is wearing a creased blue checked shirt and a pair of smart jeans. He runs his hand through his hair and even though he has his back to me, I can tell he is smiling. I stand up slowly and I am still in my clothes from yesterday. My flip-flops are lay on the hard wooden floor aside to the king-sized bed but I don’t recall ever taking them off. I have got myself into a pickle. His smile grows broader when he looks down at me and he kisses me sweetly on the lips. He is hugging me tight against his firm well-built chest.     

   “How did you sleep?” he says, breathing on my hair.    

   “Fine thank you. How did you sleep?” I ask in return.    

   “I didn’t sleep much at all to be honest.” He replies.    

   “Awwwww, why not?”    

   “I was watching you sleep and thinking how beautiful you are.” I lean back a bit but we are still in each other’s arms. I look into his eyes trying to find something, I don’t know what, but whatever it is I am trying to find, it’s not there. Maybe something like a glint in his eye or a slight laugh. I didn’t actually think he meant what he just said. But now I do. Although it is such a sweet thing to say and I never thought that someone would find me beautiful, he has kept a straight face and he looks astonishingly genuine.  I smile but inside I’m crying. He’s a nice guy but he’s not Dylan. I close my eyes and breathe in. It smells like Nate.     

   As Dylan is driving me home in his rusty red Chevrolet, I remember when I said good bye to Nate just five minutes ago. He kissed me on the fore head and said, “Good bye beautiful.” Dylan looked angry at that moment, at the moment when Nate took control and, to the human eye, it looked like we loved each other. Well I definitely don’t love him and he can’t possibly love me, he’s only known me for a day. Apparently I’m too young to even know what love means.    

   Now Dylan is sat next to me driving, an angry expression is lay upon his face and he hasn’t said one single word the whole way, until now. “I can’t believe it.” He says with gritted teeth.    

   “You can’t believe what?” I ask, angry just for the sake of it.    

   “That you... That you and that thing... I mean... You... Him... Together? It just doesn’t make sense!” He says bitchily.    

   “I can’t believe you!” I say, on the verge of shouting.    

   “What? You’re the one who’s gone off with a paedophilic jerk!”    

   “Ha! After you told me that we can’t ever be together, I don’t think you have any right to say anything about Nate.”     

   “Oh come on! Please! He’s disgusting. He’s a pervert. ”    

   “So! He goes to college; he’s really mature and can look after me when I need him by my side.  Nate is so sweet! Nowhere near slime ball material, that’s more Alicia’s style!” I don’t mean that but Dylan is being really horrible, he deserves it.    

   “Now don’t go getting jealous of Alicia! It’s not a good look.”    

   “Oh my god! You really are full of it! You really are!” I say, completely surprised at him, yet utterly disgusted.    

   “Full of what?” He replies.    

   “You think Alicia is completely gorgeous and nothing could ever top her off!” My eyes are now brimming with tears and my voice is reflecting that, as I’m staring out the window, you can hear the devastation and anger in my voice.    

   “That’s because she is completely gorgeous! Nothing could top her off! You are so jealous of her! Of me with her!” How can he possibly say that?    

   “No way! Now you have just gone way too far! Why would I ever be jealous of some plastic low life bitch that is popular because she has huge boobs and 10 inch long hair extensions?”    

   “I like girls like that; in fact I love girls like that!”He shouts back. And I can’t help thinking; I love boys like you.    

   “Oh really? I thought you loved sweet down-to-earth girls like... like...” my voice trails off from a frantic shout to a small little voice.    

   “Like what? Like you? You have to be kidding me!” He screams, laughing slightly as he says it. A tear makes its way down my cheek, removing any make-up in its path. It keeps rolling down, down, down, down until it reaches my jaw, where it drops off onto my hand which is laying on my lap. Dylan looks at me. He knows what he just said must’ve hurt bad, because all our lives we said we were going to marry each other and that he’d never ever love another girl. I smile to myself, thinking how idiotic I’ve been, believing all this time that me and him were ever going to have a life together. As if we would ever get married. And all along I was just wasting my life on him, thinking about him every night, calling him and using up every single penny on my mobile. Running up the phone bill by £40. I know that’s it. He has been tugging on my heart for the last few days and now he’s grasped it, he’s hurt me and now it’s my turn to hurt him back.    

   “You were the one that started having a go at me. Why?” I say in a small voice. As hard as I try to make it sound strong, it doesn’t work. He can tell I’m dead inside. The effort to hold back my tears fails, and now my face is red and dripping wet with the tears he’s caused me to spill.      

   Ugh, I can’t believe this. I’m now grounded. I have no jobs to do what so ever because my dad doesn’t want me to run away again and I am literally locked in my bedroom. He has a key to my room and my mama brings up my food and then collects it an hour later. I read, I paint my nails, I watch television, and I go on facebook. I am still as bored as a bored thing from bored land. They have finally found the world’s worst punishment, well, in their case the best.      

   I wake up and rub the sleep from out of my eyes, and then I see the sun shining through my window and hear my alarm clock going off. It’s Monday morning and I’ve got to go to school. I can’t wait to be free from this room and to smell the fresh air, to feel the wind going through my blonde hair. I shoot up and then go all dizzy from the shock, and my vision has black patches covering my view. After sitting down for a few minutes, I’m back to normal, so I pull on my school trousers, slip on my shirt and tie my tie. Then I try the door handle. Yes! It’s open!    

   I run downstairs and grab a serial bar, grab my school bag off of the old wooden banister and then run out of the front door. I was just about to run into Dylan’s drive way and through the door, shouting good morning at the top of my voice and giving his whole family a huge hug, when I remember what has happened and then slow down to a walk. I march on past Dylan’s house to the bus stop, with my hold held high the whole way. Luckily I find a spear pound in my pocket.       Today school is a complete night mare. I can barely think and Dylan is in loads of my classes. I have nobody to talk to and Dylan hasn’t either. We usually sit with each other, but today, we’re at opposite ends of the classroom. How come it feels like we’re at opposite ends of the universe?    

   I thought he would be hanging out with Alicia or his best lad mates, but instead he’s eating lunch on his own, sitting in class on his own and ignoring every person that asks him a question, says hi or even smiles at him. Why’s he sad? He’s got the girlfriend of his dreams so he should hyped up and snogging her face off by now. Well, that’s all I expect of him.    

   Nate doesn’t go to school so I can’t see him until later. Not that I’d want to anyway.     

   I go up to Adam, one of Dylan’s best mate’s, and I park myself on his knee. He’s one of my mates too. He says that Dylan is in a bad mood and he isn’t with Alicia because they had a huge argument. Oh and apparently he’s really upset about our fight. Yeah well, I got grounded to my room and literally locked up for life so he can shove that up his pipe and smoke it.    

   Plus... I am the one that’s been crazy about him all my life, and I’m the one that was practically told that I’m not good enough.       

   In P.E, Miss Kirk got in a huge mardy with me because I was not bringing my legs high enough up. She shouldn’t be allowed to be a P.E teacher anyway, half the students can’t see around her arse so there’s no chance they will ever score a goal against her when she’s in net.      

   In PSHCE, last period, we are learning about how team work brings the world together. Why? Please, if you are going to ask that question, do not aim it at me, because I’ve no idea. Mr. Halkey is a right arse sometimes. We are singing a song about penguins! Really?      

   I walk through the school car park, about to go to the bus stop, when I see Nate pull up in one of the disabled parking spaces. He honks his horn and shouts, “Hop in!” Loads of girls turn their heads and see me climbing into the passenger seat of his flashy four wheel drive. I feel a rush of pride run through me, taking over my entire body. Everyone knows that if you date a college boy then you are officially one to look up to, not to mention overly gorgeous. I’m not either of them unfortunately but he’s a college boy and I date him so that’s the end of that. Wait? I date him?  

   It’s wrong of me to use him.    

   One ride home can’t hurt though can it?    

   I mean, he’s lovely, but not for me and to be honest, he’s slightly... Sickening?     

   Alicia comes strutting past us and waves, blows a kiss and then comes to the passenger window as Nate pulls out of the disabled parking space. Anyone fancy handing me a bag so I can be sick?    

   “Urm... Sweetie,” she says to me, “Your friend could use a little... Work.”     

   “Are you talking about Dylan?” I say, ready to defend him.     

   “Urm... No I’m talking about that tree. Who do you think I’m bloody talking about?” she says, her voice full of sarcasm.     

   “Oi! Who do you think you’re talking to?” Nate says, butting in.    

   “Not you, that’s for sure.” Alicia tells him.    

   “Yeah, well you better not be talking to Megan either.” he says, sticking up for me.    

   “Ooh, sticking up for your little girlfriend?”    

   “You know what? Don’t talk to me like that, don’t talk to Nate like that and do not, ever, talk about Dylan like that. Drive Nate.” I say strongly, the words coming from a place inside me that I never knew existed.     

   Nate pulls out of the parking space in reverse and nearly runs Alicia over. That would be an improvement.    

   “Wow! You don’t mess around do you?” he asks, breaking the silence that seemed to be looming for years.    

   “No, I don’t.” I say, still in a bad mood thanks to Alicia.    

   “Urm... Look, I can see you are angry with my cousin but don’t be angry with me.”    

   “Shut up.” I say. I am not in the mood.    

   “Urm... What have I done?” he asks, worriedly.    

   “Everything, you’ve done everything.” I spit out through my teeth.  

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