Out of Reach

This is a story of a teenage romance which blossoms into something beyond beautiful. It has twists and turns, where a young couple fall in and out of love with each other and other people. How do their lives pan out in the end though?


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6. Floating around in heaven

 

I can feel something really strange but I’m not quite sure what it is. Is it the fact that Dylan is with me again, or is it that Nate is gone? Maybe I and Nate did have something now that I think about it. Or maybe not? No, I don’t think we did. It must just be that now, lying hear with Dylan on the school field feels strange and somehow surreal.     

   I can hear him breathing and I can hear his voice talking to me but I can’t tell what he’s saying, it’s just a muffled voice. Maybe I am going slightly deaf.     

   I can’t see anything, my eyes must be shut but I can’t seem to open them. What if I’m going blind too? His voice seems panicked but I have no idea why. I can hear other voices to, many people’s in fact. I think I can hear my teacher’s... and Alicia’s... I can even make out my uncle’s voice. I relapse on what just happened, and feel panic rise through me, but I’m too hurt to move, or to think.    

   I need to find out what all the commotion is about. Am I okay?     

   I try and ask what’s going on but it just comes out as a small grunt. I can hear people gasping and then a man saying, “Can you hear me? Megan?” Yes. I can hear you but you can’t hear me. Or can you? I grunt again and then Dylan says, “She’s awake! She’s okay!” But am I?  And if I am, why are my eyes closed and why can’t I open them? Then another man says, “Well let’s not get hasty, we... take her into... to make sure... fine.” I don’t hear him perfectly but something is telling me it’s not good. I fear for myself, and worry that bad damage could’ve been done.      

    A huge pain shoots through my spine up to my neck and then stops at my head, throbbing and burning me. I let out a groan of horror and at the same time, oooh’s and awww’s break out. I feel my legs being lifted and my shoulders too, but they feel like they are being ripped off my back. Then I get put back down again. I now feel like I am floating round in the air but the throbbing in my head doesn’t go. Someone grabs onto my hand and someone else’s footsteps are running behind me. I’ve now stopped floating. I get sharp stab in my arm and feel fluids rushing into my veins. Dylan kisses my forehead, I know it’s him because he has such soft lips and he has kissed me so many times on my nose in the past that the feeling is healing me, like savlon to a graze. A rough hand is stroking me head, definitely not Dylan because just like his lips, they are beautifully soft. My world is spinning and it feels so strange. I can feel and hear everything going off around me, yet I can’t see it. I just want my mum right now, to come and give me a hug and whisper into my ear that everything is going to be okay. My mum would say the perfect thing in a time like this and would promise me that she would look after me and make sure I’m safe. I know she is thinking about me right now though.    

   I’d love to be able to cuddle up to her chest and breath in, her smell such a comfort. She’d be wearing a woolly cardigan that I could snuggle up in, and cry. This craving comes so often when I’m sat in my room alone, and I’ve had a bad day, or I’ve been hurt.    

   I’d do anything to have her back.      

   As much as I try to go to sleep, I can’t. It’s tiring, and the pain all round my body is crushing me. I don’t want to feel it, and every so often I allow myself to slip away, but then get awoken by noise and havoc.       

   Dylan must be gone now because I can’t hear him or feel him touching me, but I can make out my dad’s voice, my Auntie Karen’s, my mama and gramps. I can’t here Uncle Jack anymore but he will probably be working. Every now and then, people’s voices rise and sound panicked, and the beeping gets louder and faster. It’s as if I’m finally dropping off into a well deserved sleep but then my alarm clock goes off and the world all comes alive again. After all the commotion, everyone sounds relieved and, thankfully, they all loosen their grip on me.    

   I can see angels, pure and white angels, beautiful angels surrounding me. They are lighting up my darkness and floating slowly towards me. My eyelids feel lighter, yet heavier at the same time if that’s even possible. I can – very faintly this time – here the commotion starting again and, oh, someone just kissed my cheek. But I still feel this strong urge to just slip away with the angels.     

   “Hold on now, hold on Megan!” I hear someone say. I know I’m dying, and I wish I could just slip away silently, without causing any grief or pain. Maybe the angels aren’t actually angels at all. Maybe they’re devils trying to grab me and take me away forever.          

   

I’ve just walked into the room and Megan’s heart rate is so low. The doctors surround her and her family are being told to leave the room. I leave the room with her, and sit down again on the scratchy chairs.    

   “Oh Dylan my love.” Megan’s mama hugs me tight and doesn’t seem to want to let me go, “I don’t know what we are going to do!” Normally Megan’s mama is the one to be calm and collected, always looking on the bright side. I remember three Christmas’s back when we were all having Christmas dinner round at Megan’s, and my grandma had bought me a girl jumper. I was really disappointed and she said that if my girlfriend ever got cold, I could lend it to her. I still have that jumper in my draws at home. It’s something small and stupid, but the memory floods back as clear as today.     

   Thinking of home brings back such fond memories of summer with Megan, and winter and autumn and spring too.     In the summer we used to ride through the fields on our horses and find our favourite tree. We would pretend that I was Megan’s knight in shining armour and Megan was my princess. In the autumn we would make massive leaf piles and jump in them until we fell asleep. In the winter, we’d sit in doors after a long day of snow ball fighting and snowman building, and drink mugs of hot chocolate until we couldn’t consume anymore marsh mellows. We used to put loads of bubble bath in the bath afterwards and have a massive bubble fight. It was so much fun. Then, in the spring, we used to ride up to our favourite tree, and at that time it was blossoming. We used to pretend we were getting married and we would through the blossom around as if it was confetti. We made each other daisy wedding rings. Daisies are Megan’s favourite flower.     

   God, do I love her.     

   Megan’s dad walks out of the room.     

   “Go in there son, and sit by her side all day and all night. Hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be okay.” He says.    

   “Sure thing.” I say, and walk into the room.     

   Her heart rate is still low. How strong is Alicia?     

   I sit down next to her thin metal hospital bed and watch her looking so peaceful. Her face is bleeding and her head is very red from when Alicia pulled at her hair. It looks like she has pulled quite a lot out. The bruise is enveloping her eye and looks incredibly sore. Her jaw has bolts in it so Alicia must have broken that and looking at her now is making me feel sick. All my dreams about me and Megan and a family could be wrecked thanks to Alicia. Tears start rolling down my face. I just can’t believe it. I wish everything would mend and she would wake up. What a mess. When she does wake up, I’m going to kiss her and tell her I love her and right now, I would do anything to see her beautiful blue eyes again.    Those angels... They are trying to run away with me. I know what they are up to, the cheeky devils. I refuse to follow them. Pain. Anger. Tears.     

   Drifting away... brightness... falling so far and so fast, crashing without feeling a thing...    

   I guess that is how Steve feels all the time. The poor man must wake up every day in the double bed, where his wife once lay next to him, and he must want to cry his little heart out. He must miss hugging her at night and smelling her stunning silky blonde hair. He must stare at the bed like it’s the one thing in the world that kills him, remembering how they made their gorgeous daughter there, and all the other memorable times they had there. I know this because that is how I feel right now. I look at Megan and my heart sinks into my stomach, my eyes fill with tears, my head hurts so bad. I don’t want to be without her, I don’t want to live without her and I won’t be able to live if she leaves the earth. If I can’t stand this, then I shouldn’t have to. Maybe I want to live with her and be with her for the rest of my life, and so I should be able to live with her and be with her for the rest of my life. Most other people get to live how they want; get the job they want, even get the wife they want so why can’t I have all that. The answer: because the job I want is making my wife the happiest woman on the earth, and my wife, well of course I want Megan, and if a stupid idiot under the name of Alicia can take all my dreams away from me, then why do I walk this earth? I want her babies, I want to live in a lovely little house and start a lovely little family, just like John did (Megan’s gramps). Imagine if I could give her the world. It would bring me such joy to see her smile once more and, especially after this situation, I would do absolutely anything to make her happy. I just need some sleep...    

 

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