Out of Reach

This is a story of a teenage romance which blossoms into something beyond beautiful. It has twists and turns, where a young couple fall in and out of love with each other and other people. How do their lives pan out in the end though?


5. A letter

Even though yesterday was a complete disaster, I have a good feeling about today.  I woke up and my heart was warm. As I grabbed a serial bar from the wooden cupboards, I went to pick up the post. I rummaged through, sorting them into piles and there was a letter in a small white envelope addressed to me.    

   Now, as I am walking down the road to the bus stop, I look at this piece of mystery lying in my hands. It has no address or postage stamp on it, just my name in neat joined up handwriting. There isn’t one crease on it. It is rather small and as I carefully rub my fingers over the top of it, it seems that there is only one piece of paper inside. I love looking at this strange thing of nothingness, which enclosed is a whole new thing, a note, a letter, a word. I don’t want to open it in case it doesn’t rise up to my expectations. Of course, I’ll open it later on today, maybe on the bus. I’m not quite sure.       

   I haven’t opened it yet. Its second period and I’m sat in science bored to death, we’re revising the human reproductive system, something I have learnt since being in year six. Yawn! I want to open it in case it’s something bad, then again, what if its good? I don’t think it will be though.    

   It’s lunch. I still haven’t opened it. Oh my god, Dylan is looking in my direction. Oh my god, he’s walking this way. The suspense is the only thing I can feel that is keeping me alive at the moment. Oh my god, he’s just sat down next to me. What am I going to do? What shall I say? Urm... Oh no! This is so embarrassing.    

   “Hi.” He says awkwardly.    

   “Urm... Hi.” I say, twice as awkwardly.    

   “Hi.” He says once more.    

   “Urm... Haven’t you said that already?” I ask him.    

   “Yeah. Sorry. So...Did you get my letter?” It’s from him! The letter is from him! The letter I have been so scared to open was from him! Dylan! My Dylan! And now he’s talking to me!    

   “Yeah, I got it.” I reply.    

   “Good. Well... about what it says... I mean it, I truly do.”    

   “You mean what?” I ask, now I’m really confused.    

   “The thing... on the letter... that I wrote...” He says, as if he’s confused that I don’t know what he’s on about.    

   “Oh. Right. Well... I haven’t exactly opened it yet.” I say, feeling embarrassed.     

   “Oh. Well when you do, it’s true, I promise.” He says. Oh my god. He’s written something about truth. Yikes. He turns to walk away, but I can’t let him leave.    

   “I’ve got it here in my pocket.” I tell him, “Read it to me.” I pull the envelope out of my pocket and offer it to him. Am I insane? No, Megan, you are not insane. You’re simply a little delirious.     

   “Okay...” he says. He reaches for the envelope and for one split second, our hands brush together, it doesn’t feel like me and Nate, it feels like home. It’s nice and it’s comforting. He slides his index finger under the end of the flap of the envelope and slowly slides across, tearing it neatly open. Then he reads to me.     

Dear Megan, I have to get this off my chest. I am so sorry. I have never felt so bad for what I said to you at the party and in the car. I wish I could take it all back. You’re so much better than Alicia, and you’re the only girl I need in my life right now. I wish I could say sorry until time was erased and re-winded back, but I can’t do that, so all I can do is try to make it up to you in any way that I can.     

   That thing with me and Alicia was just a fling, I thought I wanted her but I was wrong. I’ve wanted you all along. You’re my bestest bud.    

   You are so perfect and I have loved you since I was seven, but I’ve always thought you were too young. Now, I see that age is just a number, and numbers shouldn’t be the thing that’s going to break us up.    

   We rode through the fields on our horses and then when it got late we found a big tree and tied the horses to it. We lay under the stars and you fell asleep. You looked so peaceful. I watched you sleeping for hours. I kissed your lips and then lay down. I lifted your head onto my chest as a pillow and then fell asleep too. That was the best night of my life so far and I am never going to forget how soft your lips were, and how silky your hair was. The moon made a shadow of your eyelashes on your rosy cheeks and your hair blew slightly in the wind, just enough for it to tickle my neck.    

   I love you Megan, so much. You’re amazing. And lately, every day that I see you, I am falling. And I expect that I shall be falling for the rest of my life now. Falling in love with you every single day for the rest of my life. You’re my best friend Megan, and I always want it to be that way.

   From Dylan.     


   He finishes and I look at him, tears pricking my eyes. I don’t know what to say. He’s such a sweetie but... I just don’t understand. I grab onto him, my arms slung round his muscular waist, taunting me. His smell makes me want him, and I feel our bodies so close, I can feel his heart racing beside mine. Now, my face is wet with tears and he rocks me back and forth, because he’s amazing like that. I cling onto him as if he’s the thing keeping me alive.      

   Me and Dylan walk around the school grounds, catching up on the last few days we have spent without each other. The sky is blue and the grass has never been greener. The leaves are starting to fall off the trees and the remaining ones, still clinging on to every second they have of life, are golden and red, making the world so much more colourful. There are puddles on the floor from the nights down poor and the cobbles on the floor look pretty and old fashioned as they glisten. The sun is high and big up in the sky and the clouds look like cotton candy, as if you could jump around on them and then fall asleep to have the sweetest dreams. The air is cold but a nice cold, it’s very refreshing and there is a slight breeze just blowing my hair backwards. We pass the emo’s in there black and gory clothing with black and red hair dye and black eye make-up. They always seem to be having so much fun up there, so why do they ever hurt themselves?     Then there are the sluts. They have the tiniest mini-skirts ever to be seen by man-kind and their shirts have the top three buttons un-done so you can see practically all of their cleavage. They all have really long hair – aka hair extensions – and they have caked on the make-up big time. They are wearing knee high socks with bows on the side and some are wearing stockings with the lace bit around the top. Most of them have huge stiletto heels on, either shoes or boots, but a few are wearing ballet pumps. Why doesn’t school control them? They have all taken off their black and white ties and are strutting round like nobody’s business! They all copy off Alicia but she isn’t with them, she has her own little posy with some of the chavvy lads. Speaking of chavvy lads, we are now walking past the lads that are farting and jumping on beer cans and throwing stones at each other. Oh the joy.     

   “Today is so perfect.” Dylan blurts out.    

   “Oh I’m glad. How is it?”   

   “Well I’ve got my best girl back, the sun is shining and I am alive and well.” Very true indeed!    

   “Aww you’re so sweet!” I say. Could this day be any more perfect? Maybe my life isn’t over. Well, it obviously isn’t now but maybe everything is going to get better and tonight when I get in, I will be happy and cheerful, then it will rub off onto my dad. Maybe I could even ask if I could borrow Uncle Jack’s laptop and set my dad up on a date! Then he will be just as happy as he was when my mum was alive! I would never want to replace my mum, in fact she was that fantastic that no one would ever get close to replacing her, but if having a date would make my dad happy then a date he shall have to go on. I can’t take him being sad any longer. I was the perfect daughter for my mum, now I will be for my dad!      

   I love how the sun is in the centre of the sky and the birds fly perfectly around it as if it could be a painting. God it sure is hot though. I take off my blazer and I am still boiling! Ahh, taking off my jumper to was a good move. I feel like nothing is going to intrude now, not ever. We approach the first tall gates to the field, and then walk down a winding path, in between two hills. Now there is another set of gates in front f us. Dylan opens them and we stride out onto the open fields, with only the mosquito bites to hurt us. Well, of course not forgetting the football that comes flying round every so often thanks to some more useless lads that constantly kick the bloody thing around.    

   Instead of sticking to the school field, we decide upon breaking the rules and heading beyond that, down to the lake that sits just outside the school border fence that tries so hard to pen us in (not hard enough). We run hand in hand to the very bottom of the field which is quite a hard run when you’re unfit, but today, the wind was just slightly blowing against our hair and the hills roll downwards towards our destination, as if they know where we’re going.    

   We set up “camp” a few meters away from Fishers Lake, using our school blazers as our picnic blanket, our school lunch’s ready to tuck into, and we go and dangle our toes in the cold murky water. With our grey trousers rolled up to the knee and our ties thrown lazily on the damp grass, I stretch my hands out behind me and lean against them, putting all my weight on my arms as a backrest. Dylan does the same.     

   Alicia is approaching us now, as I look behind I can see her tornado sweeping up everything and leaving behind fixed eyes and fragile hearts.    

   She’s wearing massive black stilettos, the tiniest mini skirt I have ever lay eyes on and a shirt (that is see through so that you can see her lacy leopard print bra) that has three buttons undone, loads of cleavage for the world to see. It’s unsightly and disgusting, putting me off my lunch. A silver letter, an A, is hanging on a thin silver chain around her long slender neck and she is wearing stockings with a lacy red frill at the top. She looks like a prostitute.      

   She towers above us and tries her best to be unnerving but no matter how hard she tries, she can’t bring me down. After all the tears and emotion, me and Dylan are having such a laugh and a great time just being in each other’s company. Dylan’s by my side so I don’t feel any worry or doubt. I’m just going to take it as it comes.     

   “What do you think you are doing?” she yells.     

   “Excuse me?” I say. Who does she think she is? I’m still rolling around with Dylan until I roll over onto my front and stare up at her, my blue eyes widening.    

   “Your excused.” She replies. Does she have to be herself?    

   “Ooohhh, nice one.” I say. And I bet she has something spiteful to say back to that.    

   “Thanks.” She says. And I was right.    

   “So... you came here to... what? Watch us or threaten us?” I question her, now bored of her stupid games.    

   “Neither. I came here to put you in your place.” Now she is obviously trying to act hard. I stand up and dust down my skinny trousers, run my hand through my hair, pushing back my fringe, and stand there looking up at her with my arms crossed. People are starting to gather around us, eaves dropping and probably hoping for a bitch fight. Sad people. I feel sorry for them.    

   “Oh okay, well that will be hard because I’m in my place and I have been for the past fifteen years, you’re the intruder.” I tell her, hoping she’ll leave us alone.    

   “No, you’re not in your place! You’ve stolen Dylan off of me, when you obviously know that we are going out!”    

   “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that? You and Dylan? Pahh! That ship has sailed love!”    

   “Since when? I love him!”    

   “Yeah, yeah, don’t you remember last night, when you said to me that he needed a little work? Plus, you? Love? Sixteen? You? It just doesn’t mix.” Dylan stands closely behind me, keeping a short distance. I prey to myself that he keeps out of this so I can prove that for once I can fight my own battles.    

   “Oh, very funny!”    

   “Why thank you, now if you don’t mind, could you please walk your big arse somewhere else? I have seen enough of it frankly.”    

   “Trying to act hard are we?” she asks, making anger surge through me in a wave.    

   “Well I’m not but I don’t know about you.” I say, feeling clever from the comment.    

   “I don’t have to try.” She replies.    “Oh but you have to act don’t you.” I answer, refusing to back down now. It’s beginning to become quite fun if I’m perfectly honest.    

   “At least I can actually act.” Now that is just harsh. Is she trying to say I can’t act?     

    “Everyone can act, it’s if you can do it well or not that matters.” Yes! Another point to team Megan!    

   “Well I can clearly do it well.” I feel Dylan tense behind me, and as I look at is face a smirk is lay across it; we sound like 2 year olds fighting over a teddy.    

   “At least I don’t have to act.”     

   “Are you trying to imply that I’m fake?” she asks, getting ready to defend herself. I smile, because that’s her all over.    

   “Well no, I wasn’t actually! I was going for try-to-hard-for-what-you’ve-got but fake is a much better way of putting it!”     

   “What did you just say?” basically she means: I am speechless and don’t know what to say back to that because I am so thick, just like the makeup on my face.    

   “I said, yes, you are fake, but you were the one that gave me the idea.” I repeat.    

   “What?” she asks again. How many times?    

   “You are fake!” I shout.     

   “Right, you have really crossed the line now Strouler!”    

   “What line? Please will you describe this line to me? It’s size, colour, shape?...” I laugh at my own joke.    

   “Oh grow up. I said, you’ve crossed the line now.” Her teeth grit together, and I question why she’s repeated herself, but then let the thought blow away.     

   “Oh have I? I’m sorry I’ll just go back over it...”     

   “Oh it’s far too late for that missy!”       She’s on top of me. She’s rapidly taking all anger that she has ever felt out on my face and my upper body. Her fists are clenched up so tight, they feel like iron balls slamming into my delicate skin and bone structure. The pain is too much to take. I try to force her off of me, but she is in such a rhythm now, pounding off of me like hail on a wet road. I can tell she isn’t going to stop until she’s completely satisfied. I manage to grab her fists for a few seconds with all the will that I have left in me, and as I look at them, I realise they’re raw and bloody.    

   The rest of her gang are enclosing above me, including Jennifer, Yasmin and Annie.    

   For a second, I take everything in and try to ease my mind from pain.    

   Jennifer has beautiful long red hair that topples down past her waistline effortlessly. Her pale complexion is coated in many layers of foundation, but her freckles underneath are still slightly visible. She could be a pixie, with her high cheek bones, set out like bookshelves, holding her whole face together, her small delicate nose and thin lips placed like medals on an Olympians jacket, proud and perfectly placed, just hanging.    

   Annie comes into view now. The breeze is blowing her blonde bob and feathered side fringe all over, but somehow she manages to pull it off. She is the tallest by far of all the other girls, even Alicia with her heels, and she wears her long legs like a pageant queen. Her big brown eyes surrounded by grey eyeliner and a thick coating of Mascara on her top lashes, compliments her olive skinned complexion perfectly, the only thing ruining her beauty, her nose that’s too long for her face.    

   And from behind the crowd, Yasmin looms, always seeming the most innocent, the nicest. But in reality, she’s just as much a cow as the rest of them. Her brown hair has recently been styled into an elfin cut which looks very neat next to her small thin features and her eyes that some may say are too close together. Covering them, is a thin layer of golden eye shadow, and a pair of naturally thick eye lashes. Her strawberry red lips show contrast with her darkly tanned skin and everyone knows that every girl envies her style.    

   Then, before I know it, roughly about nine of Alicia’s other followers are shadowing above me, screeching and kicking me furiously with their heavy healed stilettos, and the pain is so intense that I stop feeling, and instead, start just hurting. They target my head, a thousand brain lashings, banging against my own private wall, killing the only place I can call myself. There are so many sounds and noises floating through the air, and as my head is being hammered from out of what seems like anyone’s control, I can barely make them all out. I can imagine each tiny membrane crying out for help, but not a single other cell will help.    

   There is so much yelling, so many raised and panicked voices, amongst tearing and ripping, squealing, lots of girlish squealing. My head is about to explode.     

   Then, I feel relieved, as the banging in my head starts to wear away, and the dark shadows that towered over me have now stepped back. I stay where I am for a few minutes, pain enclosing around me, a wave a nausea replacing the fear.    My vision comes back to me and I see Dylan and Alicia yelling at one another, and a few more people fussing about me, then some others walking down to be nosy and swot up on the latest gossip.    

   It’s a dog-eat-dog world.    

   I place my hands firmly on the grass beneath me, and gradually push myself upwards. A cold hand wraps around my arms, making me hurtle forwards, upwards, until I’m on my feet.    

   But I’m not on my feet for long.    

   A jab in my chest and I’m flying backwards, my legs giving up helplessly and just tangling themselves in knots. Then I realise where I am as my bottom half becomes damp, and then my whole body is sodden, and I’m wading in water up to my neck. Yet I’m not wading, I’m still falling backwards, and try as I might, my limbs won’t keep me afloat. My hair swims around me, and then my head goes under without my permission...    

   I can slowly feel myself lose touch of these surroundings, I slowly let my world become separated from theirs, and gradually, I feel my soul lifting into serenity. A quick thought flashes through my head before everything goes black: I’m going to die.  

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