That night...Was the heart of it all. Somehow...being drunk...Led me to my true life...


18. A Funeral And Another Death

It was the day of Ben's funeral. We were all there- me, Johnny, Emily and my girls. Emily was distraught. I had to keep hugging her and telling her it would be alright. Her bump was huge now. She was due to give birth any day. I don't know how she's going to cope raising the baby on her own. The funeral bagan. It was so upsetting, and Emily wasn't the only person to start crying through the service. I'm pretty sure I even saw a few tears in Johnny's eyes. The girls were wailing as they didn't know what was going on. Half way through the service Emily suddenly started screaming. "What's wrong?" I asked in a panic.

"I think I'm going into labour!" She panted back. Quickly we rushed her to the hospital. "It will be ok." I kept telling her as the pain got worse.

"I hope so." She managed a small smile. Johnny was looking after the kids for the moment. I was glad I had such a great fiance. We were getting married in just a few weeks time. Everything was planned, from my dress to the decorations. Emily hadn't wanted to be a bridesmaid because of her bump. Maybe now she could be!

After hours at the hospital, we finally got out. Emily had had a beautiful baby girl. She was called Jade, as the stone jade is meant to bring good luck. Emily didn't seem overjoyed, as I was when I had my children. She just kept crying. "Ben would be so proud of both of you!" I consoled her, but that just made her cry more.

At home we had moved Lavie and Lilly into our room so Emily and Jade could have the girls' room. Emily just dumped her little girl in her cot and sank onto the bed to cry some more. I wished we could do something to help her as she was obviously depressed. A few months passed. Jade became an adorable little toddler. She was so well behaved and my two loved her. And she was always laughing, happy and cheerful. I wish the same could have been said for her mother.

Emily was a bridesmaid at my wedding, along with Lilly and Lavie. She was depressed the whole time, and it kind of ruined the day for me. I was there, in my beautiful dress, getting married to the love of my life. Emily's boyfriend had died. Of course I felt bad. But Emily needed to pick herself up and start acting like a mother. 

One day I came home from a doctor's appointment to a silent house. Johnny had taken the three girls out to the park but I knew Emily would be in. I couldn't wait to tell her my news- I was pregnant again! i went into the kitchen and found a letter on the table.


Dear Rose, It started. F irst of all, I want to thank you for all you've done. You've been an amazing friend to me, and I'm sorry for being pathetic for the last few weeks. I've been so tired and depressed. I'm also sorry for this. I know it will be hard for you, but I had to do this. I couldn't go on any more, since Ben dying has torn me apart. I've left Jade to you. I love her, but I've never bonded with her and can't look after her. You and Johnny are so happy together, and so brilliant with your kids, that I knew you were the right people to give her to.  Rose, I've taken my own life. My one is not worth living anymore- All I want is to be with Ben. Don't try and save me, it will be to late and this is what I want. I'm so so sorry to do this to you Rose, but know that you have always been my best friend and I love you like a sister. Please, take good care of Jade. Treat her as your own, but please tell her about me. I want her to know I love her. Your loving friend Emily.  
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