Don't change

I was tired of being the geek, the loner, the fat one. I wanted more than one friend. I wanted to be popular, pretty, sexy. So I got a makeover..


28. Don't change


Alex looked away, and began to fiddle with his fingers. He bit his lip, and took deep breaths, obviously nervous about what he was going to say. The black clouds and whistling wind seemed to further increase the tension. It felt like if I made one wrong mood the world would snap in two.
"Maya," Alex whispered, "you're in danger. Dan's made a bet, a bet to have sex with you, that's the only reason he's dating you. It's with Jordan, and he will get £100 if he can."
At this I burst out laughing. I knew Alex was jealous, but making up things about my boyfriend? That was low, very low. Alex must have gone mad with jealously or something - Dan would never do anything like that! Yes he was a little bit pushy, but that's just human nature, wanting more. It was completely normal, and I bet any boy would be the same.
My laughing fit obviously hadn't amused Alex. His cheeks were flushed, like they do when he gets angry, and his eyes glinted.
"They did, Maya, I heard them." His voice was strained, cracking at the edges.
"Really?" I coldly laughed again, "seriously, Dan would never do anything like that. He's a nice guy. He wouldn't make up rumours about his friend's boyfriend either!" That came out harsher than I expected, and I covered my mouth with my hands. The damage had been done, though, as his eyes wide with surprise. They became glossy, and his cheeks became an even darker shade of pink.
"I'm not lying Maya. Why do you think that!? Just because you've changed for the worse doesn't mean I have!" Alex's voice rose as he said that and he stood up. I did the same.
"Yeah, I've changed, but I'm glad. I'm popular, I've got friends, I'm cool. I'm glad I'm not the geeky, fat girl who no one likes!" I shouted, my hands in fists, trying desperately not to slap him. He said my makeover was bad? He would pay.
"I liked her," Alex murmured, barely audible over the wind. Turning his face to mine, I saw sorrow was carved in his forehead, and his eyes were dull. "I liked her smile, the way her face lit up. I liked her jokes, the way she laughed. I liked her kindness, she would never say a bad word anout anybody. I liked her opinions and debates, the way we could argue and still be friends. I liked the way she didn't wear lots of makeup, her natural beauty. I liked her old-fashionned ways, she would never flirt with anyone. I liked her uniqueness, her style. I liked all of her, even though she didn't. I loved her. I still do. Don't change, Maya, please not anymore. I love you."
At that moment the rain began, huge droplets falling everywhere. In a matter of moments I was soaking wet, and so was Alex. It was good, no one could see the tears running down my cheeks. I didn't know what to say. I was confused, nervous, angry and happy, all at one time. Alex had obviously decided that he had waited long enough for me to speak, so he kissed me.
It was a kiss in the rain, something I had wanted for as long as I could remember. This kiss wasn't sweet and loving, it was passionate, desperate, angry. Our tongues fought a raging battle in our mouths, fighting for dominance, and Alex seemed to be winning. Sparks flew everywhere, the giant firework inside me exploding thousands of times a second. I never wanted this moment to end.
We must have stood there for ages, his arms round my back, and my fingers round his neck. The icy rain didn't matter, we still stood there. Nothing mattered except each over.
I realised what I had done, and pulled. I had cheated on Dan. I was a bad person, a tart, a slut. I tried to look at Alex, tried to tell him I didn't like him, tried to tell him never to kiss me again, but I couldn't. I just stood there looking at him. I was so confused, I didn't know what to do. I did the only thing I could think of - I ran.
I ran through his house and into mine. I ran up the stairs. I ran along the landing. I ran into my room.
Then I just wept, and wept, and wept.
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