Lord Potatoson

We've all heard of the freaks of nature that pass for super heros. And no one has ever stopped to think about the less well known ones. So I'm here to change that.


6. Chapter 5


So, Arnie was lying on the floor, waiting to be eaten alive by vegetables, yep that sounds about right.

That was, until, he realised everything he would be leaving behind. His mother, his father, His Money. Well, the thought of leaving his precious money all alone in the world when he was gone was too much for Arnie.

Frantically searching the ground around him, he grabbed hold of what he believed to be a large rock, and began to beat the Carrots with it. Shockingly, this worked and they backed off a little, hissing. Grabbing more rocks he began to throw them with amazing precision, either knocking out or just squashing these freaks of nature.

“Eat mud bitches!” Arnie cried triumphantly, a note of hysteria in his voice. It wasn’t until he was in the process of murdering the last little buggers that he realised he hadn’t been throwing rocks at all, but instead his entire vegetable gardens worth of potatoes. How they had managed to get out of the ground he had no idea, and honestly didn’t want to know for fear of losing the remainders of his sanity.

“Oh loyal spud, Thank you!” Arnie told the King Edward he was currently brandishing, kissing it. If he had turned towards his mansion/castle/whatever at that moment he would have seen a row of 23 perplexed looked gardeners, whom had only just returned from messing around in the Snow Dome to find their employer making out with a root vegetable.  But Arnie didn’t care; he had finally found his true calling in life, to defend the world from evil using potatoes.

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