Lord Potatoson

We've all heard of the freaks of nature that pass for super heros. And no one has ever stopped to think about the less well known ones. So I'm here to change that.


4. Chapter 3


Now as any sane person on the planet would do, Arnie looked at the gardener as if he had sprouted fairy wings. If it had not been for the cluster of 23 other men nodding in agreement, he probably would have had said gardener sectioned under the mental health act there and then. But (like in all clichéd stories) his curiosity got the better of him, and he strode out the back door.  When he reached the vegetable patch nothing seemed out of the ordinary, the food was in the ground, the ground was undisturbed. This made Arnie very angry, and his face turned a most peculiar shade of purple.

‘I’m going to kill them! No, wait, that’s illegal. I’m going to fire them, then deport them to Mexico!’  He thought as he turned around to leave. And then he saw something that made his blood run cold. Or run screaming. Probably the latter. Because as he went back inside to slaughter some gardeners, he saw the ground move, and as far as Arnie was aware, it wasn’t supposed to do that. Turning around as slowly as possible, he looked on in horror as an entire row of carrots flew out of the ground and landed in a very precise row in front of him. 

“Oh dear god,” Arnie muttered, slowly backing away. One by one, the orange root vegetables began to sprout (haha I’m so funny) legs and creep towards him. After the legs had developed, the teeth began to appear. As sharp as the knives Arnie had been intending on getting someone to chop them up with.

“Bad carrot, Naughty carrot, stop moving immediately. Please?” He cried in desperation, but before he could do anything else, the Carrots lunged at him.

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