A Tale of Love and War

Rose Burton-Hall is the daughter of a rich English army commander. Her life is glittering until world war two hits Britain and her father and brothers are enlisted. While they are fighting Rose's life changes and she finds solace in Jack. Together they embrace the moto carpe diem; seize the day, and embark on a furious but secret love affair with consequences that mean that Rose's life can never return to how it used be.
After nearly four months the story is finally finished! Please bear with me the first few chapters I promise it does get better. Please let me know what you think, I haven't had any feedback and would really appreciate some! :) xxx

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8. The importance of self-respect

I worked all that week, I rose early excited to be out doing something more than dinner parties for mother friends. In a selfish way I was also glad to be away from mother, every time I saw her she had lost more weight, impossible as it seemed, and though I felt bad about not being there to look after her, seeing her only reminded me of my own grief at the continuing absence of Father. I was also enjoying Jack's company, more than I cared to admit to myself, he was seventeen too but he would be eighteen fairly soon and then he be enlisting to fight in the war. I secretly dreaded the day when he would leave, being around him was effortless, easy as breathing and the more time we spent together the closer we became. He still laughed at what he called my "la-di-da" background but he didn't want to humiliate me so he saved me from having to do the harder jobs or at least showed me how to do them.
 On the first morning of my second week there I was asked to muck out the stables again. I headed over and was slightly annoyed to see that Jack was there again topping up the horses water, I had embarrassed myself enough at my first attempt to perform this task. Cringing at the memory I got the rake out and started to work. I tried to push the rake yet again but this time the rake slid over the top of the straw not doing anything. I grimaced and tried again. I heard footsteps behind me; Jack had been watching of course but he didn't laugh. Instead he came up behind me putting his arms round me to grip the rake and helped me pull it rather than push it through the straw. I held my breath as he pressed his body against mine to help me. As I started to get the hang of it he let go of the rake but instead placed his hands on my waist.
Every fibre in my body tingled at his touch, I knew I had to push his hands away but I hesitated for a moment, it was wrong but it felt so right. My hesitation showed my weakness and he recognised it immediately, he leaned his head into the nape of my neck and placed soft kisses slowly along my jawline. I tried to control myself, steady my breathing and my hammering heart but it fruitless. I turned my head towards him and found his lips with mine. They were soft, not like velvet but like a tissue; comfortingly moving along mine softly at first then steadily he applied more pressure. I have no recollection of how but suddenly my fingers were laced in his hair pulling him towards me, lust seeping from my mouth as it opened to embrace his tongue. Every cell in my body craved his touch on my skin, it was a drug like morphine, my body followed it's own needs as if somehow disconnected from my brain. My brain screamed stop as he moved his hands up from my waist, under my shirt and slid up my back. He breathed heavily into my neck and his name escaped my lips. I hadn't meant to let it but the sound of my own lust startled my body back into obedience and I pulled away from him.
"No." I said breathlessly, shaking my head. "I'm not like this, this isn't me, this isn't what I do."
He looked at me questioningly, searching my eyes then shook his head too. "Your right, I want to do this properly. Come out with me, tomorrow night, we'll go to a movie in town?" It was a question but the way he said it was more like a statement, that by letting him in that far I had already agreed. If that's what he thought then he was right, I had no intention of refusing. Yes I had pushed him away but that was out of respect for myself, this was a perfectly respectful thing to do, and so I agreed and as a result couldn't wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the day.
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