In Between

I've made this story revolve around the moment just before kissing and I am focusing on the "in between" feeling, making it grow bigger and bigger and more important than the kiss itself.
Hope you enjoy it :)

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2. That Little Space Of Ours

 

I am not sure about how we ended here, me against the wall, him in front of me.

I am not sure about how that space came to be, our lips not even a breath away.

I am not sure about how we came to hesitate, at the same time, at that moment.

We had been inside a dark room, full of moving bodies, sweat and body odours.

I had had a drink in my hand. The other hand was taken by him.

I hadn't taken it away. It was impossible to do, considering the chemistry running between us.

Considering the jumping of my heart. The never ending thoughts about him.

I was sure we had been talking inside. We had been three people.

Me. Him. His friend.

I don't know where his friend disappeared. Suddenly it was only us.

Me. And him.

We danced, I think. He took my other hand. Our bodies were touching. Everywhere.

I felt myself floating on some pink sky.

I was afraid.

Of what would happen if he let go of me.

Of what would happen if my feelings boiled over.

Would they be all over the floor?

Would they be impossible to gather? To comprehend?

What would they look like?

All tangled and messy or linear and clean?

It was what I was thinking about while we were dancing.

One wouldn't call it a dance.

It wouldn't be fair to the word.

We were not moving.

We were only swaying.

It was magic flowing between us.

I could feel him.

...

It was magic.

I stand here and feel like my life is going by in slow motion.

I stand here feeling that I am aging, growing older and older, though never moving out of place.

And I am not feeling impatient.

The difference between waiting and waiting is big. I feel like I can stand here for an eternity.

Our breaths are speaking softly to each other. Whispering secrets. Discussing. Mumbling.

Flying in the air in that little space of ours.

I suddenly remember how we met. The clashing of our swords, when we both felt the other person's strong arms. How we gracefully moved around each other until we found that spot where we could move in and... end the dramatic sword fight.

Our breathing had moved our lungs, pushing our bodies out and drawing it in again. We had smiled.

And then we both left.

I blink and look at him. His face. Frozen in the moment of hesitation and cosideration. He's beautiful.

I stop myself from moving my hand up and trailing his dark eyebrows. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, feeling electrical. Hyperventilating. Feeling him in that little space of ours. 

I am still not positive about how we came to be here. Outside. I know it's sunset, because I can see the light from under my lids. And because it's nearly time.

A hand touches my ear and I flinch and then melt in satisfaction.

"It's awful," he whispers urgently.

"I know," I whisper back, glad to hear the melody of his voice. Glad to know that he knows.

We're frozen in this moment of first-times. We're confused. We're tempted. We don't know.

We're statues. Living statues. With thoughts and feelings and lust and desire. And everything is boiling inside.

God.

Everything is roiling and crushing around inside me, and I can't contain it. It's awful. It hurts. I am in need.

Deep need.

"God," he whisper-moans against my lips. I am trying not to move. Not to breath at all. Not to flinch or react or even think.

Because that little space of ours would be gone. Just like air.

My heart is jumping, jumping, jumping and I am yelling for everything to stop, because it's too dreadful and I feel like screaming.

I let a deep breath out, nearly falling over, trying to think of something, to prolong this moment, to freeze the space between us.

"How did we end here?" I ask, afraid.

"I don't know," he answers and I can't stop me any longer. It's like my body has given up on me, thrown me outside myself, because just like that our noses touch, and the space between us is smaller and we stand like this a moment longer. A few seconds go by and then we proceed.

It's a first kiss.

Our lips meet, softly, gently. Then it moves on, not gentle at all, and it's desire at it's highest. And while the sun sets, we're no longer two lone bodies beside a wall, but one prolonged body of intertwined fingers, hands and arms, legs gripping tightly to another body, afraid of letting go, because that little hesitation drew us apart only for a little while.

But it was a moment to remember. A moment frozen in time. A space of only a breath.

It was a space. Of the word before. Of the time just before. Of that little time of only seconds or minutes.

Of the words in between. Not knowing and knowing. Feeling and not feeling. Experimenting and not.

Just that.

Only that.  

 

 

 

 

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