A Complete and Utter Nonsensical Story

Umm..., I suppose you're reading this because you didn't read the title. The title really is very self-explanatory, so go and read it again if you are having trouble understanding the concept of this story.


3. The Beginning of the Middle

Albert walked out of the part of the hill in which he slept and decided to take his English herring and feed it some ripe German oranges. After doing that, he ate a pear that had recently fallen off a Brazilian sausage tree and had landed in a large duck pond which had been full of geese at the time.  As he ate it, he thought about about the practical jokes he would play on his colleage and boss this time. 'Perhaps,' he thought to himself, 'Perhaps, this time,  I'll put wet paint along the inside of my boss's hat. Or,' he thought 'I'll throw my colleage's shoes into the paper shredder and say that I'm taking them away to clean them. Oh, I do belive that today will be a superlative day.'


He went on his way to work and was two hours late, so he waited for thirty minutes until the time was right for him to emerge.

"Right then," said his boss, "Today will be very much the same as yesterday, only instead of waking salmon and sending them to sleep, you will be ruining fountain pen nibs and then mending them. Albert will be the ruiner, and Victor will be the fixer. Albert, get the pens ready, and Victor, get the pillows ready. And make sure they've been plumped up, unlike last time. We need them to be as soft as possible." And so that was what they did. They worked until two hours, after the sun had risen.


As Albert cycled back home, he checked the time. It was precisely half-past nine at night. As he went to bed, the clock read twelve-o'clock in the morning, so he sat down and ate the snack he always ate before going to bed, for it was very late at night. After doing so, he went up to his bedroom. He the slept for precisely four hours and then looked outside and saw that the sun had nearly risen. "Alas, I believe that tomorrow will not be as good a day as this," he sighed. And it was fair to say that he was right.

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