A Complete and Utter Nonsensical Story

Umm..., I suppose you're reading this because you didn't read the title. The title really is very self-explanatory, so go and read it again if you are having trouble understanding the concept of this story.


5. A Great Discovery

Henry and Albert went outside armed with fine spades made of the blood of sludge spiders mixed with special window copper. They strolled into a great clearing where Henry said that there would be lots of copper plates. 

"How can you tell?" Albert asked him.

"Why, can't you see the knots of toads hopping over the honey becks?", asked Henry, astonished,

"One can always tell when the toads leap in the way that a minnow would. See how sprightly that fish is, bounding from tree to tree!".

"Right." said Albert. "Then, let us dig!". They shouldered their spades and began to force them into the ground. Copper plates were found in great abundance, about sixty-eight of them were collected, and a great many more managed to escape the pair. They had been digging downwards for half a minute when they decided to change and dig upwards. This added another thirty hours to the time Albert and Henry had already spent digging. When they were halfway-and so six millennial-through, Albert caught his spade on something.

"Aha!" He cried, drawing up the spade. " What is it?" asked Henry.

"It is," said Albert, "the ear of a fudge cow! What wonderfully good luck!"

"What sort?! What sort?!" cried Henry. Albert knelt down and picked up the ear.  Carefully, he tasted it.

"Clotted cream."

"Clotted cream?!", yelped Henry.

"Yes." said Albert. "And, where there is a fudge cow's ear, there is likely to be a fudge cow nearby."

"Splendid!" shouted Henry. "A fudge cow is always a good omen."

"Indeed.", said Albert. "A fudge cow may be able to help me find the special knitting needle I need."

"Then," said Henry, "let us track it."

"Yes," said Albert. So they began, following the trail.

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