Who am I?

Girl discovers her identity is false, she sets out to find her real family and discovers she is completely different to her previous life

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2. Chapter 2

 

I awoke, laying in my bed hot and sweaty like I do everyday, and always for the same reason. Every night, since my 16th birthday I have been having this re-occurring dream. Each night becoming more livid, becoming more real, it scared me. I would sit up in my bed, with my hands covering my ears, blocking out the sound of Toby shouting and screaming protesting against going to school, and just sit there taking deep breaths. The dream never made any sense to me, and yet made me afraid. I have tried for so long to understand it, but had failed. I even borrowed books from the public library, books about dreams and how to understand what they mean, but none helped. Who was I kidding? How could a book tell me what my emotions were trying to tell me? I eventually gave up on the idea of understanding the dream, so I tried to forget it but it would always come back to me as my eyes closed at the dead of night, as if to haunt me, as if to taunt me by never leaving my mind.

 

A few moments passed, and I finally got out of my bed and went to the closet in the corner of the room. I pulled open the closet doors with a loud creak and peered in to find my school uniform hanging there ready for me. I sighed as I took the clothes off the cold, metal hanger and laid it down gently on my bed. “Kim, are you ready for school yet?” I heard my mother call to me. I looked at my alarm clock, the red light shone brightly from it – it was only 7:30am. “I have ages yet mum!” I called back to her. Then I slowly changed out of my sodden pj’s, damp from my sweat, into my school uniform. I hated what were forced to wear; it felt strange to be told what to wear too. I went to a public school but we were treated as if we were attending an academy to a public school. So we had to wear a blazer with the school crest stitched on it. All girls had to wear skirts, all year round too.  I hated wearing a skirt but all the guys at my school didn’t seem to mind – typical.

 

Like I said earlier, I have never experienced true love. Mainly because I don’t see anyone around here as a ‘hubby’ or ‘arm candy’ or what ever girls like labelling guys. That’s another thing I hate, people being so stereotypical. But I guess that is normal in an ordinary teenager’s life, being put in a certain ‘Group’.  I am considered in the ‘Goth / Emo’ category, people assume it because I like being alone and like keeping to myself. They seem to think it’s a part of depression or something. I ignore this, I personally don’t care for what other people think, I am who I am and if they don’t like it well that’s not my problem, Right?

 

When it was 7:45am, I was finally ready for school. I picked up my heavy school bag filled with my school books and notepads and hung it over my shoulder. I walked out of my room into the dimly lit hallway. At this moment in time, I had forgotten that my shoes were by the front door and I was only wearing socks along the hard wooden floor. I then made the mistake of running to the front door, as I went to stop and turn into the living room; my feet kept sliding across the floor making my body slam into the wall with a loud thud, then landing on the floor. “Great…perfect way to start the day with a huge bruise” I murmured to myself, pushing myself up to my feet again. And no surprise, no one came to see if I was O.K. My family were so used to me falling over that they seemed to stop caring about my health altogether.  I sighed then walked up to the front door, slipping into my polished doll shoes. I slowly turned to the door handle, quietly as I could hoping not to be heard but failed, as always. “Kim did you pick up your lunch?” Mum said stepping out the kitchen into the main entrance of the house.

 

She was a small frail woman, wearing her pj’s still with a white apron laying over the front of her body. She was holding a washing cloth, rubbing it against her hands to dry them after doing the dishes. “I have money for lunch mum” I told her, as I looked down at my feet. I was never good at lying; it isn’t part of who I am. “Darling, go get your lunch off the counter please” she said softly. I sighed then did what my mother said by retrieving my lunch. I recently have gotten into the phase of not eating as much as I should, and no I am not anorexic. I simply just don’t get as hungry as much as I used to.

 

Once I got my lunch and got the daily lecture from my mother about doing well at school, I left the house heading to school. Once I walked out onto the public path from our drive way, standing there was my best friend Amber, waiting for me with the widest grin ever to be seen. “Hey Kim” she said cheerfully, her grin reaching her eyes.  I rolled my eyes and smiled “C’mon you dork” I teased and walked past her heading to school, with her skipping along beside me. To this day people question why we are best friends. Amber was a very cheerful person, not once have I seen her upset or down. She was also very popular, with the girls and the guys at school (she even gets through more boyfriends than a person suffering with flu, gets through tissues) In some ways, I was jealous of her beauty, she had long blonde hair that reached down past her shoulders, as she flipped it glimmered in the sunlight; she also has perfect, clear skin. We were total opposites and yet have close friends since we were 9 years old.

 

 

Once we arrived at school, it felt as if we were on the red carpet and everyone was waiting for us. As we walked through the car park people fanned out away from us, waving or smiling and saying hello. Amber, being her bubbly self would cheerfully say hello back and wave frantically. Me, on the other hand I just nod in the direction and keep on walking. I hate drawing attention to myself but when ever I was with Amber having no attention was never an option. “Kim!” I heard someone call, I turned to and saw Charlie jogging up behind us. Charlie was my guy best friend, who I have known almost my whole life. He had very dark hair; his fringe covered his right eye.  He was probably one of the only people who truly understood what and how I felt. He never judged on me either, which was one of the main reasons why I adored him so much. He walked along beside me, beaming down at me. “So, you’re mum nagging about your eating habits again?” he asked, grinning at me still. I sighed and rolled my eyes “Is my family that predictable?” “She cares for you its only natural; you really should give her a break once in a while” he said softly. I smiled, he was always good at giving advice and I liked him for that too. Then amber finally caught up with me and Charlie, we then walked into school together side by side, for what we thought was to be, a normal day…

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