If You Tolerate This Then Good For You

More poetry from the master of ignoring important things and people in order to write inane rubbish.


3. An Ode to a Friend


You asked me to write a poem but

I honestly can’t think of what to put.

Maybe I’ll state how great you are,

Although that may be going a bit too far.


I always say you go out whoring

But I don’t mean it, I’m just very boring

And cannot ever hope to compare

‘Cause really, you’re just as lovely as your hair.


I’ve got to say, your humour’s strange

And you seem to love to play mind games.

Like how to wind me up the most,

Or maybe something to do with toast.


Okay, maybe that last one was shit

But I couldn’t think of what would fit.

Talking of fit, you spring to mind

For reasons I’ve already outlined.


All in all, I’ve said my piece.

You could give me that at least.

Okay, I’ll say it, just so you know,

I love you, you fantastic ho.  

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