Trapped

Tom – no one knows the torment he feels, the rejection and the inner battle he fights every day. An existence of two people in one body, forever in conflict.

Christie – a little different to normal but what’s normal anyway? She has grown to like herself and accept that we are all human beings regardless of appearance and sexuality.

This is a portrayal of Tom’s frustrations and Christies acceptance and forgiveness.

-entry into the bullying competition :)

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5. What Happens After English-Tom

Two days had passed since my last run-in with Christie. I’d spent the last forty-eight hours thinking up my biggest move yet. Secretly, I hope that what I plan to do next will make me feel sky high. The truth is, when I make her life unbearable, it distracts me from my own shitty existence. It distracts me from my issues and that fact that I have no relationship with my parents. Okay, so I couldn't blame them, they did what they felt was best, they wanted a son, so they got one, and there’s nothing they can do about it anyway...they don’t know I'm trapped. I haven’t told them, they’d be ashamed that I wouldn’t turn out to be the son they’d always wanted, the son who’d grow up to be a great success, have a lovely wife and a great family. Yeah sure I wanted that, but not in this body.

When the bell rang after last lesson, I shoved my shit in my bag, zipped it up and slung it over my shoulder. Christie was in my English class, and she had been nervously waiting for me to make the next move and oh god would she be stunned when I call check mate. 

She hung back and took her time, hoping I’d be long gone by the time she’d packed away her stuff. I decided to wait outside the door for her, no one would see, everyone was on their way home, excited that they had a weekend in front of them. 

Five minutes dragged by before she stepped out of the door. I could see her sucking in a deep breath when she saw me step out of the shadows of the corridor. 

“T-Tom...” she stuttered, gripping the shoulder straps of her backpack tightly. 

“Y-yes?” I mimicked and laughed. I stood against the wall next to her, with one of my feet tucked behind the other. 

Christie shook her head and headed towards the double doors that lead to the steps down to the ground floor. She wanted to be rid of me, but I followed her anyway.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I snapped, trying to shove past her rounded belly and block her path. I had no luck, of course.

“H-home...” she whispered in reply. “Please Tom; I need to go home...”

She barged through the double doors and then just...stopped. She stood meters from the stairs and just stared at me. 

“What is it with you, Tom?” she asked, tiredly. It came as a surprise that she was actually sticking up for herself.

“What?” I asked, surprised and slightly speechless. 

“Why do you do this to me? Is there something wrong with your own life that gives you the right to take it out on me?”

“My life has nothing to do with you, it is none of your damn business,” I shouted, suddenly furious. I balled my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms, any harder, and they would cut through the skin.

“Something’s wrong with you, Tom, do you need help?” she questioned confidently, yet she took a step backwards towards the stairs. I took one more step closer.

“I don’t need a shrink! Nothing is wrong with me! I’m normal! You’re the one who has the problems! I mean, come on, have you seen yourself lately?” I growled through gritted teeth. She had the audacity to stand there and act tough. 

Momentarily, Christie looked wounded, but the hurt in her eyes soon diminished. 

“I’m not perfect, I know that, but I don’t take it out on others.” Christie noticed me slowly approaching her with anger in my eyes so she said this quieter as she took a nervous step backwards.

“Nothing is wrong with me,” I repeated, the anger exploding inside me. How dare she talk to me like this?  “I’m fine, okay? I’m just...fine!”

“Tom...you need help...” Christie muttered, barely audible. She was scared I would lash out on her, and boy, I had crossed the line long time ago.   

“Stop saying that!” I bellowed; all the muscles tensed in my body. Luckily all the students had disappeared now and no teachers were in sight. 

Christie flinched as my voice echoed across the vast landing. Another step backwards.

“I’m just...I’m just trying to help...even though you’ve done nothing for me,” she whispered, fear glowing in her eyes. 

“I don’t want your damn help! It’s my life!” I yelled, completely infuriated and ready to release my anger through my fists. 

Her eyes widened, she knew I was about to launch my fist at her, so she yelled, “Wait! S-stop! Please!” 

She stumbled backwards and screamed as she lost her footing and tumbled down the stairs, landing in an unconscious heap at the bottom. She must have hit her head on the wall. 

I stood wide-eyed, staring at the scene. What the hell had just happened? I didn’t mean for this to happen! Should I run? 

Terrified out of my mind, I staggered backwards, shaking wildly. 

A teacher came barging through the double doors. 

“I heard a scream! What happened?” Mrs. Jeffries demanded as she ran towards the stairs. She gasped when her eyes fell upon the stationary lump at the bottom. 

“What happened? Did you do this? Call a damn ambulance!” She screeched and she ran down the stairs to check Christie’s pulse.

“I...I didn’t do anything, she fell!” I was saying anything; I wasn’t thinking about it, it had all happened so fast! Damn, damn, damn!

“Call the ambulance!” she ordered. I stayed as far away from the scene as I could and with trembling fingers, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialled 999 and asked for an ambulance. 

After I hung up, I stood anchored to the spot, staring at the scene before me. Mrs. Jeffries hadn’t a clue what to do so she ran to get more help. Within five minutes the whole landing was full of teachers gasping and whispering and giving me dirty looks. Soon the ambulance arrived and a paramedic placed an oxygen mask around her head, put her on a gurney and lifted her into the ambulance. I watched in a haze.

“Wait! I have to come with you!” I exclaimed without thinking. “Please...I’m a friend!”

I didn’t know what I was doing but it just felt...right. I hadn’t meant for it to go this far. She didn’t deserve this!

The paramedic thought for a moment then nodded hastily. I had to explain to Christie everything before she did something stupid like call the police on me.  Maybe she’ll believe me...maybe she’ll forgive me.  

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