Alter Ego

Lola Drake is just a normal girl at home in England... well I suppose you could call her just a tad crazy as well...

Let's start again.This is the story of a crazy girl called Lola. Her initial reaction to the news she is a Princess in Russia is 'What The Frick?!' At first she doesn't even believe it, considering to go on a 'becoming normal' course, if that even exists. She's managed to annoy her friend with her craziness, after meditating in the street and shooing off her boyfriend...

Give it a go, it's funny, well that sounds big headed... oh just read please:-)

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2. If I was a Princess...

"Urm...no?" I said, racking my brains for anything I could remember related to applying to be a Princess in Russia.

Nope nothing.

"Okay, well it's gotta be a mistake." Jaye shrugged, opening the front door. "But we gotta keep this letter safe, 'kay? It's important."

"Yes yes yes." I flapped my arms at her and began to laugh uncontrollably at the fact that I got a letter saying I was the Princess of Russia. Ha, as if I would go to the loo in a hole or whatever they do in old fashioned castles like that. I'll stick with my bed, tv, hot chocolate and shopping thanks.

"You coming then?" Jaye asked. "Or has the thought of you being a princess traumatised you?" She winked, knowing how clumsy I would act sometimes.

"Oh shut up. I can be feminine. I can be elegant." I headed towards the door and immediately tripped over a my dog's dentastick. Ah well. 

As we stepped out the door, I slapped my hand over my nose. 

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?!" I almost screamed, gagging. I wasn't even exaggerating.

"Manure." Jaye replied calmly as if she relished the smell of a good poo. What was wrong with my best friend? Could she not smell the odour as strongly as me? Did I have bionic nostrils?

"HORSE MANURE! JAYE, IT SMELLS LIKE HORSE MANURE."

"Probably is," she shrugged in that really irritating way that makes me feel little and unimportant. I mean, yeah I'm little but I have rights! I have the right to be listened to!

I lifted my hand to the sky and accidentally said this all out loud. Cue the weird looks.

"Well, the only logical explanation is that their is a horse in the sky littering the sky with manure. Because tell me Jaye, do you see any horses around? Apart from that woman...oh my god. Look at her dentures. They stick out more than Bug's Bunnies... anyway. Do you see any horses apart from her? NO."

"Fine. There is a horse pooing in the sky. Happy?" Jaye asked rolling her eyes. "Really Lola, why do you have to be so weird and undignified? I am meeting my boyfriend you know. Don't embarrass me."

"Pshhhhh," I laughed. "Me? Embarrass you? What do you think I am, a freak?!" 

I maybe shouldn't have asked that question.

***

Well, wow. Jake is amazing. With a capital A. He's just so beautiful. I don't understand why Jaye's bothered about her ex-boyfriends whereabouts, when she has this piece of god. Of course, I could always keep him safe if she ever wanted to go back to her ex...

"Erm, hello?" I snap my eyes open- wait. I had my eyes closed whilst dreaming about Jake? I know I'm weird, but only Jaye is supposed to know that!

"Oh um hi! I was just you know..."

"No I don't know," Jake smiled, with a raised eyebrow. "Enlighten me."

Jaye's eyes widened. "That's not a good idea..."

"Yes!" I agreed readily. "It's a complicated explanation and I'm sure you want to get going with the shopping, in places that fit boys like you shop at... okay, no that slipped out. Anyway, let's go?" I smiled desperately, trying not to die under Jaye's death stares. She was actually pretty scary, under her cute interior. Wahhh.

"No, no, I love learning!" Jake exclaimed.

Oh God. Well okay, I can't get out of this one. I must impress him with my enlightening facts of what I was just doing. Because obviously my eyes were closed for a perfectly legit reason, not just because I was dreaming of my best friend's boyfriend. Obviously.

"Okay, well...I was meditating!" I grinned, slapping my hands together. "Just to get myself ready for this wonderful trip. To get my brain geared, and do you know what Jake? It's really helped. Look, watch, it's very easy!" I closed my eyes and sat down cross legged on the pavement, completely oblivious of the old couple trying to edge around me.

"Ommmmm. Ommmmmm, oh give me happiness and strength. Ommmmmmm Ommmmmmm Ommmm...."

The old man shuffled over to Jaye, and I opened my eyes and grinned cheerily.

"Is she okay?" He whispered so loudly he might as well have shouted it in my ear. Ah well, how nice of him to ask.

"I'm fine thanks! How are you feeling?" I jumped up.

"Lola, your embarrassing yourself," Jaye hissed and she dragged me down the road, leaving the couple baffled and shaking their heads sadly.

"I was showing Jake!" I argued. 

"Yeah, cool Lola. Might try that later." He winked and I almost melted, as though I was an ice cream.

I smiled and tried to act calm but GOD. He was just so...gah. He was adorable. And he didn't seem to be that creeped out by me, which was a bonus. So things were going well. Apart from the fact that it kinda seemed that Jaye was... jealous. Her eyes were narrowed, her hands squeezing onto Jake's so tightly I swear I saw him wince. My suspicions were confirmed when he spoke up.

"Urm, Jaye, could you loosen up a bit? My hands losing it's circulation." He laughed, but he still wriggled his hand away and stuck it into his pocket.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." Jaye flapped, as she usually does. The god smiled slightly but we walked on in silence, with me lagging behind, worrying. I'd obviously ruined this date by me being an idiot, again.

When we finally got to the shopping centre, we just walked round silently. In the end, I said my goodbye and practically raced home, unable to handle the awkwardness any longer. Why do I have to ruin everything? I should have just stayed at home and watched something mature like Hannah Montana.

Jaye came home just 15 minutes later. She stormed upstairs, grabbed her bags and said she needed to go home to study. But I knew I'd annoyed her because she slammed the door behind her with no goodbye, and when I peeped out the window (like the natural spy I am) I saw her face redden and tears stream down her face.

Some people are so dramatic. But then again, I can kinda see how she'd be upset after losing such a perfect man. Great, way to go Lola, ruin a relationship again. I needed to go on some sort of becoming-normal course, because I was not normal. Imagine if I really was a Princess. I would NOT cope.

 

 

 

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