I ate my friend

This was an english assignment, i found it on the laptop a couple days ago, thought i might post it online. . .im lucky that the teacher had a. . .sense of humour :)

Character overview:

Timika- one of my best friends from school- long blonde hair, pale skin
Daniel- one of my guy friends at school- Med. long black hair, tan skin
Courtney- One of my friends from my old school- shoulder lenght black hair, pale skin
Maekarra- One of the girls from my school- long brown hair, tan skin

Just a drem i had one night, thought i might write about it.
WARNING!!! really queer :)


1. The Dream

Dreams are supposed to be weird, random, funny and not really make much sense.

Some people say that what you dream about is the last thing that you’re thinking about before you go to sleep. This is just a dream that I had a few nights ago. i'm just not to sure that i was thinking of eating my friend. . .


It was set in a really big IGA store and there were three people in one corner of the store, me, Daniel and a fat red haired boy.

I went up to the fridge to get something, and I saw Daniel, he said “Timika wants you”, I also said something but I don’t know what, then he said something, it must have made me angry because I punched him, but in a girlie sort of way. Then Daniel grabbed a bottle of milk like nothing had happened and he left.

As I was walking out of the store, everything changed from a disgusting huge IGA store, to beautiful green fields with flowers and a bright blue cloudless sky, it was bright and felt warm, I was walking across the field when I found what looked to be an old abandoned building, there were people all around there and then Timika walked out, I walked up to her and she said to me “that’s it were over, I’ve had my last smoothe and now were done!”. I think I started to cry and I was running, before I got away I saw Maekarra, she said “I told you that would happen” but I pushed past her and I ran up a hill to an old square room, it was really wrecked, it had holes knocked into the walls. Inside I saw Daniel, he had binoculars in both his hands and was looking through a hole in the wall, he turned around and his eyes went wide, he ran outside and started to make all these weird noises and was waving his arms and jumping up and down.

I calmly asked him “what are you doing?” he turned around, eyes still wide and he replied “im calling Timika, She’s going to come an get you”, after he said that I ran down the little hill and I saw a big sky scrapper, the weird thing is that it was the only modern looking building there was, I ran towards it and when I got to it, I went inside. Some how I ended up on the top floor immediately, I know this because the view outside was of the fields and the square room looked tiny. I saw a door, and in some sort of way I felt like it was my destiny to go through that door, so I pushed the door open, and inside there were three computers each lined up next to each other, the room was pretty small.   


I sat down at one computer and turned it on. I went on the internet, just as I did, a man walked into the room, he was holding a clip bored in one of his hands, he had grey hair, he wore a white lab coat, he had a pen behind one ear, he was chubby and was red in the face, it looked like he’d been in the sun for to long. As soon as he saw me he froze on the spot. After a few long seconds he turned around and ran down the long hall way, holding his hands in the air and running like he had to go to the toilet.

I got back to the computer and said “DAMN! Now they know what im doing!”

I put my hands behind both side computers and pushed them to the ground. Once I was all happy and calm again I went on the only computer left, the middle one, and stared typing.

When I got onto google images I heard a knock at the building window. It was Timika.

She was…flying… well it looked like it anyway, but she was also eating a burger, my jaw dropped when I saw her and she said “What? I missed out on lunch” I was trying to say something but I couldn’t. I looked down at the computer screen and then I got out of google images, I looked back up at Timika and she was now riding a flying carpet and eating a snake that was still alive. Finally I said something “w-w-what are yooooou doing h-here? I tried my best not to stutter, but I guess it didn’t work.

She looked at me with her ‘best’ death stare she had…it didn’t really have the effect that she wanted, so she said to me… “You show me your mercy, or…Eat you friend over there” she pointed to a corner in the room, there was nothing there, “I mean over there” she pointed to the opposite corner, and my friend Courtney was there; she was eating a whole pizza, to herself. I didn’t want to seem weak and show my mercy. I walked over to her and said “sorry but even though you are my friend im going to have to eat you” she looked at me and started to laugh, thinking it was a joke, but then I said “no really im going to have to eat you, its either that or beg for mercy to Timika” she looked at me a then took another bite of her pizza, and said “you’re a fatty poomba” she looked like she just sucked on a lemon, but that doesn’t matter, all that matters is that what she said got me angry, plus watching her eating her way through a pizza made me a little bit hungry.

I took hold of her arm, and added a little bit of salt, BBQ sauce and took a bite, just then Timika yelled out “Ewww yuk I didn’t think that you’d actually to it”, it was a little bit weird, as you’d imagine, the texture was a little like beef but it was a little bit sweeter, oh gosh I wish I had an oven, it would have tasted so much better.

Now to this day every time I have the opportunity I always bring up ‘I ate my friend coz she called me fat’, and its funny because they think it’s a joke.


I was just about to make a victory sandwich, when my alarm went off…



This was JUST. A. DREAM! i didn't really eat my friend, if you havn't already read my 'About Me' thing, then you probably understand that i am weird. . .

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