Your Words Killed me

Skai's dead. Murdered with words from the mouths of her bullies. Read as Skai wakes in a pale blue room with a white room. She watches her life on the screen and relives them through her eyes.

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4. A week after

It's been two hours since the last memory and I can't move. I feel like I'm frozen in time...the same memory playing over and over again. The tears won't stop pouring out, no matter how hard I try and think of all the happy thoughts in the world. My life went downhill from that, my mum stopped smiling and no one would talk to me. I went from loved to alone. I no longer had anyone.

The screen is flickering again, but I won't lift my head up...I won't watch anymore of my life. I feel like I'm stuck in hell, punished for being me. The screen is still flickering and my head begins to hurt, it wants me to lift my head up and see...I don't want to. The pain is increasing and I'm clutching my hair in the hope that it subsides...It doesn't. I lift my head up slowly and breathe in deeply as it goes away slowly. An image is appearing on the white screen, I can see that it's me. A week after the incident. My mum didn't want me to go to school, she said I was ill but the truth was I think she needed me, some reassurance that I wouldn't leave her like dad did. 

It's happening again, I'm drawn to my young face, my innocent eyes. I'm seeing things from my eyes, her eyes. I'm trapped and I can't protect my younger self from the horrible things she will see as she grows. I use the word she because I'm not that little innocent four year old girl anymore, I'm not me, I'm dead.  I'm slapped back into the past and I'm walking into the school gates. I'm late today because mum was still wary in letting me go. I'm scared...I think everyone saw mum and dad arguing, it's scary. I walk into the classroom with my hand clutching mum's hand tightly. The teacher looks and me and smiles with some sympathy, my friends don't look. They're too busy concentrating on the toys in front of them...She looks though, the little girl from a week ago. The daughter of the woman who took my dad away. She's glaring at me with hatred, her mouth sending silent curses my way. I was only four then...I want my younger self to turn around and leave with mum...I don't want her to stay and go through what I went through.

The teacher takes my hand and tells my mother that I'll be alright, she guides me to the table where the evil little girl is sitting. I don't struggle, instead I take my seat by her and pick up a toy. I can feel her staring me, her baby blue eyes burning holes through my back. Her long eyelashes unused as she refuses to blink. I can feel myself curl up inside...I can feel my younger self  want to cry.

The little girl grabs my toy and breaks it, my mouth releases a gasp. Her tiny hands are hitting the toy against the table, she's not watching as she does but looking up at me smiling a sinister smile. The teacher stands and shouts break time,, it brings me back to reality as I realize I'm in a classroom with other little kids. The teacher approaches our table and looks at me briefly before bringing her eyes down to the broken toy in front of me. I look up at her silently waiting for her to tell off the girl next to me but when I turn around she's playing with her own toy happily. The teacher looks at me and frowns. 

"What's this Skai?" the teacher questions me but I just look at her face with a clueless expression.

"Why is your toy broken Skai?" she's waiting for an answer "Did you break the toy on purpose" I'm not answering her...I'm staring into thin air while the girl next to me begins to hum a nursery rhyme.

"Rose, what happened to Skai's toy?" She turns to the girl beside me and asks her "Was the toy broken by accident"

Her name is Rose, what a pretty name for a pretty girl.

"I don't want to say Miss Penny, I don't want to get Skai in trouble," She answers the teacher, her voice emphasizing the second part. I look at her with shock in my eyes as she easily places the blame on me.

"Alright then Rose...Skai come with me and bring your stuff please" She looks at me with worry written across her face.

I pick up my Snow White backpack and I follow Miss Penny across the room...I turn my head around, my pigtails swinging solemnly as I look at Rose one last time. She's looking at me too, her face set in a grim line as she watches me walk away. Miss Penny takes me to her office down the hall and sits me down, her face is kind as she looks my unresponsive face.

"Skai, I know that your mummy and daddy are no longer together but it doesn't mean you are allowed to damage school property," She's talking me in a slightly raised voice laced with concern, "Things must be hard for you at home darling...I want to you to go home for another couple of days and get all your anger out, alright,"

"Yes, Miss Penny," My voice answers back in a monotone

"Mummy can take you to the zoo...or you can talk to her and tell her how your feeling, if not you can visit daddy and talk to him...You must miss him a lot, " She's going on and on and on, "You can even meet your daddy's new girlfriend and get to know her,"

"I don't want to know her...she made mummy cry!" I whine back at her. The door opens lightly and my mum is standing there, her eyes are rimmed with tears as she looks at my face. I run to her and cling to her knees.

"Mummy...Miss Penny wants me to meet daddy's new girlfriend but I don't want to because she made you cry," My voice is high as I tell her what happened. She holds me and picks me up slowly. She nods at Miss Penny and we make our way to the car.

"Mummy, can we visit the zoo please?" I ask her

"Sure baby...anywhere you want,"

I'm suddenly rocked back to reality, I remember what happened afterwards. I remember the trip to the zoo, I remember her hugging me and reading me a story as I slept in her bed. I remember her telling me that daddy wouldn't be coming back. She told me I would have to go back to school and I would have to behave myself. I'm not sad as I remember this,  I feel fine because I'm dead and Rose can't get to me here. I'm dead.

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