unglamorous non-humans

Short chapters
each one with a few things I think you should know about ghouls and goblins


1. Werewolves

 I dated a werewolf once.

It sounds exciting doesn't it. The thrill, the animal sex :-)


But there are quite a few things that are not so glamorous, and you don't get from just the movies. Certainly not from twilight or such nonsense.

For starters they are actually lycantropes, and it's closer to a disease or a syndrome than some magical power to tun instantly back and forth into an over sized dog . In fact most of them are a little embarrassed about it. 


It is true though they can turn into wolves. This can happen, intentionally, n any given day. and on occasion unintentionally during full moon. The full moon makes them moody, irritable and hard to deal with.


Female werewolves, like their non-lycantrope counterparts, are subject to more than one 28 day cycle so I was never really sure which cycle caused the crankiness. 


In Twilight a werewolf jumps into te air and lands as a fully dressed human and vice versa. Obviously sheer nonsense, can you imagine even if they could transform in a fraction of a second that their clothers would change as well ?

Switching from one state to the other is not instantaneous , In fact transforming takes a few minutes, and to be honest is unpleasant to watch, there is lots of drooling and body hair involved. Also it rips clothes to shreds, which is why you'll see them stocking up at Primark just before the full moon.


During full moon they have some strong animal drives, especially when transformed. If on a date make sure you order steak tartar, she will thank you.

They do not have amnesia about the things they did or saw in their four legged form, although they do engage in some decidedly canine behaviors. In fact , they remember VERY  clearly. And if you want to keep a relationship with one, not even jokingly ever ever ask them to fetch or suggest they've been drinking from the toilet bowl!



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