Cold and lone

This story is about a boy who is 12 and is a social loner. He suffers for long but finally escapes the loneliness and succeeds in both career and marriage. Must read if you are one of the social loners or being bullied or even if you wanna know what it feels like.


1. Who am I... A nobody.

This is my diary I got yesterday. Don't expect me to be all gentle and nice and tell you only the good things in life. My life is not a life to be proud of. I'm a social loner, I have no friends, not even teachers to stand up for me and even my parents hate me. Yes I know it doesn't sound right that even my parents hate me but that's the harsh reality.

I hate school for the fact that my 'friends' want to 'play' with me. What they actually do is just bully me and kick me around. Beat me up and swear at me everyday. Every class Teachers mock me for coming late and not being able to answer. So what! What if I can't answer a question I don't know! I can't know everything you ask of me! When I shout at the teacher the teacher just beats me and makes me sit back  down. At the end of the class I'm all worn out. Every break or lunch I just stay at the corner waiting for the bell.

I hate school but I hate my home much more. My mother is never warm and nice to me when I come back home from school. She just sends me to my room and locks me in there for the rest of the night. Can you imagine what I feel when locked in my own room! I can't turn the lights on because my mum cuts off the electric source. I have to spend the night in a pitch dark room and having tears roll down from my face. It's worse when my father comes to the house which is rare because he's a drunk gambler and spends most of his nights in a casino. But when he does come back he just bursts into my room and grabs me by the neck and pulls me out of my room to the living room where he beats the hell out of me. Then he would throw beer bottles beneath my feet and the fragments scarred my feet. Then my father, no actually I won't call him father anymore he's a devil, so continuing with what I was saying the devil would choke me and then toss me onto the ice cold floor of my room. I would be wake until midnight with blood all over my body and tears constantly rolling down my cheeks. There is not a single day of peace in my household.

Due to my social depressions my grades at school haven't been that good. It was just below average, the average was 6/10 but what i got was 5.5/10. The day when I come after getting my grades I try and hide them away from my mother as possible or else she would call the devil to the house and then I would be getting beaten twice as hard. Every parent teacher meeting I felt hopeless as I observe my teachers criticising and even swearing at me. After the meeting I would be grounded for a month. It was no use of grounding me anyway because I get tossed around the house and basically meaning grounding so it really isn't a punishment but if the devil comes to the meeting I would be kicked out of the house for a week. When I'm kicked out of the house that's a punishment. I don't have any friends to rely on. All my relatives move far away and all I get to spend a week in just a mere 50 cents. What can I do with 50 cents! I can't buy not even a single pack of gum! How can I survive for a week!

By the end of the week I'm very worn out but that's not the end of my punishment. I have to wipe the floors, clean the bathrooms and all the other rubbish house chores. Then when I return to school the kids whisper behind my back and laugh at me. The only day I like is end of the school year where I just get to lock myself in my room and never come out. Although occasionally I come out once or twice a day to get water and food but except that I just stay in my room look out of my window see my classmates play so well with each other.

Oh I think I'm writing too much about my boring life I'll introduce myself before I continue further. I'm 12 and my name is Ronan. Although no one calls me by my name and it's already long forgotten. My dad (The devil) is a drunk addict as I said and he doesn't actually have a job. He's been kicked out about 15 times throughout his career. My mother used to be an actress ( well that's what she says, personally I think she might have been a rubbish dump cleaner judging by her looks and personality.) I have no siblings and I'm just fed up with my life. I live in London and have lived here since I was 7. Before that we lived in Liverpool but we moved because our house was too close to the harbor. Liverpool is a major harbor of England. Every 5 minutes we would hear a boat either arriving or departing. We have had a peaceful life in Liverpool. That time my mum didn't toss me in my room and my father wasn't a drunk gambler. But when we moved to London my father started to take gambling and drinking heavily. He would come back every day all drunk and poor. All his salaries would be contributed into gambling. My mother wasn't happy about this and started to take her anger at the only subject that she could...Me. That's when my loner life started. I was depressed at home and so was I in school. Eventually I was so depressed that I would skip classes and then my teachers started hating me and the other kids bullied me.

My worst day of the year is when school starts again. More bullying, criticism and swearing to take. Getting locked in my room, getting beaten up by my parents and just crying my eyes out all day and night. So I entered school thinking

' Here we go. Another year of bullying to take.'

But I met a girl who would change my whole life. 

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