Misconceptions of First Impressions

Who are you? Can you ever really tell without the influence of what others say? In this story Anna dictates the troubles she encounters when she is changed by the manipulation of another girl, Ulna. Once confident, independent Anna was changed by Ulna's manipulation and mind games into a timid, unsure being on the brink of suicide. When somone knows all your weaknesses and targets them, how can you not collapse?
(Closley based on a true story)

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6. Problems

I became comfortable after a while. I gave up on the idea of finding other friends for the simple reason Ulna would sulk like a two year old if I attempted to interact with others.  At the time I felt guilty, like I was leaving her or excluding her, now I see I was wrong. The feat to find a community of friends is a human right, not to be defied by anyone. The problem with bullies is understanding. If you do not understand a problem the effort to solve it is pointless; you can shoot a target you cannot see.

Before she didn’t converse with me if my grades were higher; then the whole situation took a turn for the worse. Whenever a teacher praised me or singled me out for credit, she would react as if I had just stabbed her in the back. Her bowed head and sudden silence made me infuriated yet at the same time remorseful; I was on the verge of sabotaging my own studies to keep her content.

Walking home from school with my aunt I would rave on and on about how my so called friend has irritated me that day, then I would rave on and on about how I felt so guilty. I tried to confront Ulna about my troubles, though the whole conversation achieved nothing.

“Ulna, I wanted to talk to you.” I trembled. The whole idea of confrontation chilled me; anything said wrong could be interpreted as blame.

“Yes?” she chirped.

“I wanted to talk to you about the problems we’ve been having.”

“Problems? I thought we were alright.”

“What do you mean alright? Everyday you sulk when I get a higher grade, or even the slightest bit of praise; you don’t let me hang around with anyone else! We have problems but all you do is pretend, pretend there aren’t, pretend you’re not angry…” I paused as I saw her face, only then did I see I had not delivered the message correctly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. I want to be friends but I can’t be if you are always sulking when I do better.” I continued

“What does sulking mean?” she replied.

“Basically you don’t talk to me or look at me.”

“I told you I wasn’t upset.”

“It’s obvious you were.”

“Alright I’ll stop.” That was the end of the conversation. I was not surprised to find that afterwards she did not talk to me, but smiled at me should our eyes meet to ensure I couldn’t bring up the subject later. Boom, that’s when I finally understood Ulna. She had to be the best, period. She could never settle for anything less, but she could not work for it either; coming from a wealthy family like any items of purchase she expected knowledge to fall into her lap.

I looked back on the time we spent together, every time we got dressed for physical education she raced to be first, every time we were set an assignment she would be sure to finish first, her competitiveness had taken over into everything she was. The worst thing was, I knew she would never change.

 

 

 

 

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