Living with Teatime Journal

Based off the character Mr.Teatime from Terry Pratchett's book 'Hogfather' in the Discworld Series.

A series of diary entries about living with him in our own world. This is how I wound up with him and what has been happening thereforth

NOTE: I do not own this character, I didn't make him up. He was created by Terry Pratchett, author of the Discworld Series.


1. The Visitor

I heard the telltale click of the gate. Who would be coming now? I wondered. I went over to the window. I pulled up the blind and looked directly at the gate. There was nobody there.

I glanced at the side door; I spun to look at the back door.

Mr. Teatime smiled and waved at me in the rain, he put his hand on the door handle of the apparently unlocked door. He glided slowly towards me. Light from an undistinguished source glinted off his grey, glass eye.

“I’ve I’ve I’ve I’ve seen you somewhere before,” I stuttered, “you’re name’s Mr. Te-ah-tim-eh.”

For a second, his good eye brightened up, “you got it right!”

“Of course, I wouldn’t dream of calling you anything else,” I went on, not knowing how this would end, “everybody knows you ought to pay proper respect to an Assassin.”

“Indeed,” he smiled brightly, “It’s such a shame that so many people don’t know about proper courtesy these days.” “What year is this by the way? Where am I?”

“This is the year 2011 Mr. Te-ah-tim-eh; I believe you have slipped into a different dimension as well."

“Oh dear, it appears I must’ve lost focus when passing between the worlds,” I felt the point of something cold prickle against my skin, “oh, do show me around, will you? This is a new life opportunity, I’m not about to let it go,” at this, I felt that there was another meaning behind the context. “Besides, we’re friends aren’t we?” he smiled happily.

I didn’t have the heart to say no, it was already working hard to try and make itself scarce and keep me alive at the same time. I wasn’t going to put it under any more strain. Besides, the knife was a real game changer on its own, “sure,” I croaked.

Teatime giggled and jumped excitedly, “oh, I knew you would! I can tell we’re going to be the best of friends!”

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