How to Save Your Life

Natasha is suffering. She is struggling to believe that her life is worth anything more than the bruises upon her face and is trying to juggle herself between her painful school life and her lonely home life.

Whilst the bullies think that they are clever for what they do, they fail to empathise with the hurting Natasha. And, considering they are knowledgable towards her situation, they persist to break down her life and soul.

Can she defeat the two groups that both appear to want her to fail; can she reach her dreams through the power of love and loss; and can she break the strong hold that is constantly held around her?

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2. The Shock of the Move

Throughout the burdensome times that Natasha suffered, she would constantly nag herself as to why it ever happened to her. At first, she convinced herself that it was the bullies’ own insecurities that drove their opinion about her, against her; they targeted her looks, spelling out to these reasons. But why would anyone stoop so low by undermining people through the deaths of their loved ones? It was a sickening commotion that nobody should be proud of fulfilling. And that was not due to their instabilities, it was her spiralling confidence allowing them to make prey of her and her little, but remaining, happiness. Yes, that was most certainly the reason behind it.

And, when Natasha went to her local park down the road, she would think. Every time she had a day of deep, dark misery and hell (of which was every day) she would walk down when the school bell rang and would just let her mind recall and replay every event that occurred. It was pretty much the only thing she could do, considering the awkward and pressured predicament she was somehow a part of. The park was an area that she could guarantee herself safety, due to its hidden features and general dereliction. In order to enter the area, you had to walk along the back-roads that were situated around the substantial green field, attached to the school. And, as you travelled along the roads (if you followed the correct turnings and shortcuts), you could find yourself at a very green, hilly meadow.

This was definitely not a place that many knew about. It was very hard to even describe it as “local”. However, for Natasha, it was ideal. Her walk up the steep hill would give her a treasured five minutes to clear her head- every second cherished for her own well being. The many daisies and buttercups would dance gracefully in the light weighted wind, and they appeared to synchronise themselves with her retreating anguishes. Sometimes, her prayers lead her to this specific feeling; weightless, fresh freedom that she always desired. She would give everything to be able to hold on to this quality. She would give everything except the opportunity to hold her mum once more in order to rescue the spirit that was beaten down within her. It’s at that point, as soon as reaching the very top of the hill that her exemption consummated. Without the breeze, that opportunely abandoned Natasha as soon as her trek to the top was complete, her worries couldn't rest. So she would just let her feet direct her forwards until she reached a bench. Every day she would visit the exact same bench; furthest away from the old, derelict piece of land that had been transformed into a fly tipping centre, but closest to the edge of the hill.

Sat up there, Natasha could see the whole town; all the houses that were situated along the many roads, along with plenty of specialist shops that kept the whole area alive. Her ability to recall every single road three miles around the school was due to her constant practice of having to make a quick escape. It was a very sudden lesson that learning the way would give an advantageous head start against her attackers. Being so high up and having the ability to overview the whole town made her feel fantastic. It was the strongest she had ever been as no one could beat the height in which she had ascended- for once she was greater than others. For once, she felt like the bigger person that could crush other people’s dreams. She knew exactly where every bully lived- from the top of the hill she could pick out every house that had to be avoided. And the knowledge made her feel a bit more secure. However, no matter how high she could be, they would always have the one thing over her that was bound to haunt her with every breath she took.

Her emotions were a constant rollercoaster ride that would only ever free fall downwards. A never ending dip of despair that would trap her soul with a degrading hold was all she could substitute her life to be. But she soon understood why her life turned the way it did. One day, as she sat curled over on her bench looking over at the pit below, a sudden surge of realisation pulsated through every nerve in her body. She tentatively raised her hand and wiped the remaining tears that rested on her burning cheeks, so that nothing would disturb her thoughts for the next few minutes. Natasha’s mind raced back in time to her very last day of school before they moved away. Her friends began their farewell party in maths, first period whilst the teacher stood at the front writing the algebraic expressions that they were meant to copy into their own books. They all giggled frantically at the back of the room when Florence was sent out for singing “So Long Farewell” in her sarcastic, high-pitched ‘singing’ voice. None of them were terribly upset because they knew that it wouldn’t be the end and that they were to continue their friendship through weekly gatherings.

However, they weren’t to expect the approaching problems. After the devastation occurred (of which Natasha already blamed the move for), she felt it inappropriate to spend her weekends having fun. Her decision announcing that it would be highly unfair to both her friends and her father was possibly what tipped her off the edge. She slowly began to retract from her acquaintances as she spent her free time grieving and assisting her family situation. Soon enough, the group stopped having days out and, even after Tash had recovered, none of them appeared to have the time themselves anymore. It didn't take a genius to work out their problems.

From one event to the next, things just continued to erode her self esteem and happiness. There was no one beside her to build it back up when she was ready to carry on and there never would be, either. She was a prime target- an easy victim. She was doomed from the moment she moved away, and further convicted when she cut off her social interactions.

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