How to Save Your Life

Natasha is suffering. She is struggling to believe that her life is worth anything more than the bruises upon her face and is trying to juggle herself between her painful school life and her lonely home life.

Whilst the bullies think that they are clever for what they do, they fail to empathise with the hurting Natasha. And, considering they are knowledgable towards her situation, they persist to break down her life and soul.

Can she defeat the two groups that both appear to want her to fail; can she reach her dreams through the power of love and loss; and can she break the strong hold that is constantly held around her?

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5. How to Save Your Life

 

Dear Tony,

I apologise for doing what I'm about to do, however I can no longer fight this battle on my own. Every time I look to you for support in my pain, you just shrug me off and make me feel a whole lot worse. I wish that it didn't have to be this way but ever since mum died you grew further away from me and now I don’t believe that I truly know you. And in all honesty, I think you haven’t a clue who I am either.

Every time I set foot outside the front door, I am immediately targeted. You may sit back and think that its nothing, no doubt that you would’ve done had I gone to you directly, but I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder with every breath I take anymore. I am fed up of being a canvas of bruises that causes me to cry myself to sleep each night. Did you never hear the sobs coming from my room? Trust me, they were loud enough.

Mum would never have ignored me so, had she still been here. She would’ve moved again (maybe even back) in order for me to be safe and happy. Now, I don’t know whether you act the way you do because you miss her, or if you genuinely just despise my existence; but I know it’s not how fathers act.

Now I have no option left. I'm sat here crying my eyes out willing for you to come upstairs and help me in the time it takes to write this note. I guess it is your silent ultimatum for you to make up for all your wrong doings in the past years. But I guess that is a hope I have suffocated with for years now.

So I am going back to find someone that can help me, a place where no one can hurt me. You will never be able to put me down or add to my tears as I am making sure that I have no more tears to shed. I’m not being selfish, I'm just making up for all the selfish things you’ve done previously. I am going to meet mum, and you have finally lost the large weight that obviously dragged you down. At least now you can sleep easy.

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To everyone that ever finds themselves in this very same situation. Sometimes you sit back and wonder what it was you did to make them target you in the first place. But the more you think this, the more paranoid you will get. And that's when you end up feeling the way I did.

However, no matter how heavy your life may get: no matter how many bruises, how many tears and how many people act against you- you are always the better person. Always be proud of yourself, because they are only acting out over jealousy and spite. They are so pathetic and insecure within themselves that they find it hard to be caring to others. Do you want to know the real reason why they have targeted you? Because you were better than them; you were happier, kinder and smarter. You were probably even prettier too.

The fact of the matter is that you should never blame yourself. Keep your head held high and remember that they are not worth it. They treat you like dirt so as to reflect how they act- and they deserve nothing more than to be ignored. Whatever you do, do not forget to smile at every possible moment, as there are more people that would want to be there with you and share the good memories. They are the ones to look out for; don’t sacrifice that over the bullies that want to degrade you and knock you down.

Don't do what I did and let it all get on top of you. You’re so much better than any of them and you’ll be the one that can boast at that success. There are always lights at the end of any tunnel to direct you away from the harm you are currently experiencing. At least with this you can save your tears, and maybe even save your life.                                          

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