The Bully and The Bullied

We all hate bullies, don't we? But we have never given much thought to WHY exactly they like bullying. No one is born a bully - it's spite, anger, hatred and pain that creates one. *This is my entry for the new competition. I've written this from both the perspectives - the bully and the bullied. Hope you enjoy it.* ^_^

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5. Truth Hurts - Matt

Three years ago…no, I don’t want to think about that. Never. I don’t ever want to go back to those miserable days…why would I? I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew that this spite and vengeance is what created a ghastly monster inside me.

I know what it is like, being bullied so much that you want nothing more than to end your miserable life. I have gone through it all – the pain, the depression, the humiliation…until it was too much to take. I know what it is like to be in that Jimmy’s shoes, more than anyone else, I know what it feels like.

But I hated him. I hated to see his miserable, pained face. I wanted him to suffer like I had. What else could I have done? I wanted a solution, a way to quell this never-ending pain inside of me. All those years of being bullied and tortured has scarred me so bad that I still feel that pain every day. Hurting Jimmy somehow relieved me of my own pain…it felt as though I was being avenged, and that was what I had always wanted. I felt triumphant when I caused the same kind of pain I had gone through to others. It soon became routine for me hurt them, and I didn’t even flinch when they cried and screamed in agony. I have gone through this too, why can’t they? Before I even realised I had morphed into the monster that I am now. But the little amount of humanity left in me still keeps nagging, keeps telling me that I am wrong – but I never stopped.

Now that I have done enough of the hurting and torturing myself, why don’t I feel happy? This is what I had wanted, right? Then why didn’t I feel good about myself like I had imagined I would? Because I know I’m wrong. What other people did to me, how they tortured me, is not anybody’s fault but theirs. No one, not even Jimmy Smith, is responsible for that. I was not avenging myself by bullying others the way they had bullied me. Instead, I was just becoming more and more like them. Causing others so much pain, making their lives hell…all this wasn’t quelling my pain like I had hoped. I was doing what I had always known was wrong. If I continued, what difference would remain between me and them?

So I made up my mind. This has to stop. This whole thing has to stop. 

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