Big Words

I'm clumsy, indecisive, horrendously unfit and unforgivably sarcastic. Deep meaningful Tumblr quotes irritate me. My ipod is my best friend. As you can tell, my life is riveting.


1. New Moon; Squashed

I have no idea why I've started a diary. I literally have no idea. it was just one of those things, i was reading through my other Movella (please read it, its called DNA  and do tell me if it's rubbish, I'm quite good at taking crap) and thinking, hey you know what? Comedy is the one thing* I should be doing.


And at this point I'd like to apologise, because really, this probably won't be very funny. 

At the current moment I'm watching New Moon and honestly? I really don't know what you Twi-hards or whatever the frig you call yourselves see in this stuff. For once, Bella Swan had serious mental issues. Seriously, her boyfriend leaves and she's screaming at night? Jumping off cliffs? And this isn't helped by Kristen Stewart's acting. Or, not acting- because really, being that emotionally withdrawn and psychologically unbalanced can't come down to practice.

Point 2, a relationship deeper than a GirlSpeaks retweet can't be that healthy. A relationship with a vampire, a vampire that delivers such unbelievably painstaking and leg-weakening lines such as "You give me everything just by breathing,"

Lads, write this shit down,  take your shiftin' lines from an undead fictional flesh craver and the girls will be lining up. If someone said that to me; I'd make that a freaking sandwich. Yep.

Point 3, now she's torn between the anaemic sparkler and a husky.

Okay, Bella Babes, listen to me and listen well, you know your standards are the lowest of low when you crave both a canine and Robert Pattinson. Fair enough, the canine is Taylor Launter. Nice choice of muscle, but he kinda looks like a llama. And he's still SharkBoy in my eyes.

In my opinion, Twilight saga isn't great. If I had to do some sort of analysis about the movie or book i don't think i could dilute (like frigging orange squash) this fiasco any further. Gurrrl iz weirrrd, Gurrrl moves, Weird Gurrrrl Meets Weird boiiii, Weird boii iz freakii dead fairii thing, Weird girl iz still in luv wif him, boii moves nD shE iZ ReAlLiI SaD :( LIKE IF YOU CRIED :'( 







*One Direction reference- Don't judge me 



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