I knew I loved you

Well, about my story...
I didn't know what to write. So I just sat and listened to music. Then it hit me. I could write a story about the music I was listening to. You know how every song tells a story.. And my favorite singer happend to be Darren Hayes (From Savage garden)
- Every chapter has it's name after one of his songs. The songs haven't really much to do with the text... yea yea, okey... thats it I guess. I don't know if this can be called fan fiction or not... Probably not.

About the story ;) :: It's about a girl who have just lost her father. She blames her self for him dying. Then she meets a guy who makes her life worth living again. And some new friends. But her mom don't really agree. She don't want her daughter to be with this guy. And everything falls apart again.

Btw: Sorry for misspellings! ;D
And also: I made the video for a school project and decided to put it on here because well... it fitted with friendship and stuf. Plus it's one of his songs.. ;)


4. Tears of pearls


I feel like a little child with him holding his arms around me. Not in a bad way. I like it. Not like that though. I like feeling like somebody actually cares. I don't like him. Even though he have quite grey eyes and dark-brown hair. Not as brown as mine, a whole lot darker. Plus, he have muscles. And I'm not kidding, really muscles. I can feel everyone of them against me. No guy in my class looks this good. Not like he's a bodybuilder. It looks good on him. Probably from carrying all boxes the catering firm came with. Yea, I noticed he's one of them. But I don't care. he can be anyone. I'd like him anyway. Oh god! what am I thinking? I don't even know the guy! He could me a murderer for all I know. But still, I've never seen a murderer with that nice eyes. I stopped crying a while ago. Which -to my dismay- led to him holding me much looser. I move my head a little bit.

"Oh god!" My voice is all raspy. "You'r shirt, it's..." He look me into my eyes and I stop. I sit up and his arms falls from me.

"It's okey, I don't like it anyways" He smiles little at me. I get all cold when his warmth leave my body. I try to start over.

"I'm so sorry. It's just..." I don't know how to express my self. I look down in the ground. "No body cared, and..." I have no idea what to say.

"Hey" He look into my eyes again. "Like I said, I don't mind" His pearly-grey eyes focus on mine.

"I'm still sorry" He tilt his head. But not like the others did. More like he's trying to figure out what I'm thinking. Then all of a suddent he look away.

"You'r the daughter right?" He's looking down into the ground. He's asking if it's my father who died. How to answer that?

"Yea" Smart answer. I look at his clothes. Anything to stop me from crying again. He have a black shirt who says: Food Freaks! My crying is barely visible, and a normal pair of jeans to it. We're both keeping quiet a while. then all of a suddent he ask me a simpel question. Just:

"How?" He look up at me again when he ask me.

And I don't know how to answer it. He wonders how my father died. It's actually quite simple. He got runned over. But so many things happened too. I look into the guys eyes. His eyes meet mine and he's holding on to my gase. Just like he want to know. So I tell him. I tell him everything that happened that day. From the part when me and William had a fight about who was going to go with dad to when he got runned over. It was actually a wery unnecessary fight. We fought about which one of us where able to follow dad to the store. I had told William all morning I was going study with Miriam in the library, but for some reason it seemed like his thick head couldn't receive that kind of information so we ended up fighting. Of course could my dad go by his self, but after one time when he got lost and couldn't ask anyone how to get home we never let him go alone. Just like a little child. I know I could have gone with him but I also needed to stand up for my self for once so I refused. And after us two fighting a while I just took my stuf and left. William didn't have anything to do so he could might as well go with dad. He didn't. At first anyway. After a while he had regrets and followed dad anyway. I just sat on the library all pissed of at William. I know he didn't like being a CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult), but he didn't have to show it that much. I've always thought William was ashamed of dad, our fight proved it. He didn't like this whole sign language thing. Contrary to me, I liked being good at something not so many people could. And I loved being able to still talk to my dad though he got deaf. He's not been deaf his whole life. I don't even remember how he got that way any more, it was something with a ear infection and a surgery that went wrong. He had the worst luck in the world. Not only that he got deaf, also that he died. So when I was at the library my brother called in panic and told me dad got hit by a truck. Mom didn't answer so he called me. I didn't know what to do. I went from being pissed at my brother to being furious. I screamed at him in front of everybody in the library. How could he let dad get runned over. When he told me dad was actually dead not just hurt. My whole world crashed into pieces. And I still blame my self. If I was there I could have saved him.

When I'm finished telling my story the guy look up at me. I wipe away a single tear who escaped. I'm afraid of what he's going to say.

"So he was deaf?" I nod, a little bit reliefed. "And you know sign language?" I nod again. He's quiet a while before he ask me something again. "You followed him around all the time" That wasn't a question. I think I know what's comming and I am more afraid now than before. I don't know why. I just don't think I can answer if he ask me. And I do want to answer. "Why?" His question takes place in my toughts slowly. I knew he would ask that. And still i don't have any answer. Why did we fallow him around? I've gotta say something.

"I told you, once he..."

"That has nothing to do with it. I bet he lerned from his mistakes, he wouldn't do it again"

"No, but..."

"But what? You thought he wanted a babysitter?" Aouch! Were did that come from? I stare at him without looking into his eyes.

"No, maby I didn't want him to get hurt!" I might have said that in a way to defensive tone. But still, he began. I look into his eyes, I can't help it, I just wanted to so I did.  why do every conversation I have end up with me being pissed of. He look back at me.

"It wasn't you'r fault" I can say that really surprised me. One second he's pissing me of only for the next second to say something like that. And I can feel the bitterness running of me.

"Then who's fault was it if it wasn't mine?" I still sound defensive but I can't help it.

"Anyone's" He look away from me. "You'r brother, mother even you'r father. Anyone of them, just not you" I'm feeling stunned. It was mine fault. I know it was.

"Yes it was" I shake my head. "If I hadn't gone to the library he'd be here now" And you wouldn't. I almost say that last part but remember my self at the last minute.

"Maby, but you can't protect him every minute of every day" He pick up a flower and playes with it's petals. "He was you'r father, it should have been him protecting you not the other way around" I think about it. Maybe but I didn't need any help. I point this out for him. He just shakes his head and look ironically at me. "Everybody needs help sometimes "

"Not me" I look away from him. I feel he's laughing a little beside me.

"I..." But I dont get to know what he was going to say because a girl came out looking for him. As soon as she found him she shouted 'Nate' and told him he was needed inside. Somebody named Kayla had demanded this girl who where standing in front of us to find him. Nate presented her as Del. I guess she has a longer name but I didn't get to know what. Del has dark blonde hair set in a ponytail. When I stand up I see she's shorter than me, but I'm sure she's older. Nate is standing beside me. Before Del goes in again she tell Nate to hurry. When she's out of our sight he turn to me.

"Do you wanna come?" He's eyes sparkeling. Where? I ask my self. To the kitchen of course.

"Sure" I smile at him. He turn and we walk to the kitchen. Side by side.


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