Full of Emptiness

This is my story. Full of emptiness is about my fight growing up after childhood abuse. Without telling a soul I have fought the emptiness and this is a story of my thoughts throughout my life.

Events like this leave you closed with a lot of noise in your head, and an infinite amount of questions. This is my attempt and determination 20 years on, not to let it ruin my life.

Reality is often gruesome, and my story is covered in detail. Please be advised.


9. Feeling low

The time between each session of abuse seemed to get closer. I think it started with 1-2 a month and increased to that amount weekly. He was getting bolder and wanted to experiment more.

Apart from the usual he now wanted to offer me a blow job - though he found it was hard to get me erect. It didn't stop him trying though. He would also just masturbate watching me naked. Maybe the sense of being in control turned him on. Whatever it was it didn't used to take him to long to ejaculate. 

I remember thinking about his urge growing and becoming more frequent  by which time I was slightly older and knew I had to put an end to this continuing abuse. 

He started noticing a bit of a reluctance, which was always there but as I grew older I began showing it, something I hadn't done before. This I think made him think, eventually he started calling me less frequently.

I avoided him wherever I could, but he wanted to play friends on the street and would try to approach me of we ever ran in to each other. He was the last person on earth I wanted to befriend. 

My life was pretty much overshadowed by him and what he did to me. Just as I would forget about the last session, the next one would come. I couldn't see an end and remember feeling very low about this.  

My luck though was about to change.
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