Yours Truly

The average 16 year old girl Clara, has always been struggling making friends. She has never been one of the popular girs, and has only one really close friend. One day when she gets enough of school, she bumps into a charming young man, Harry Styles. Little did she know, that this boy could change her life completely..

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12. Past

 

Harrys P.O.V

This confused me. Why would she ask me if I trusted her? Not wanting to let her down, I simply nodded. She took a deep breath and started on her story.

 

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It all started a few years ago. I was about 13 or 14 I think. I had lots of friends then, and everyone knew me as the happy girl. I felt great with myself, and knew that I was a good person. I had no idea that just one little mistake could turn everything upside down. I didn't mean to make then upset, I didn't know that it would hurt them so much. 

Me and my best friends were just hanging out, like we always did. We could talk about everything -literally everything. Of course as best friends, we would have all those tiny little fights, but most of the time there would go about 5 minutes, and laughter would spread across our faces' and the fight would be forgotten. This time it was me, I had said something they didn't like, but to be honest I don't even remember anymore. It made me sad for sure, but I had expected it to go over in some hours. But it didn't. They next day at school -we went to school together, they completely ignored me. My best friend at that time would come over to say hi, but when she saw the others cold and evil eyes, she left me on my own. It was the worst feeling ever, because apart from them I didn't really have many other friends, so I became very lonely. When the bell rang, I was the first to leave, and I almost came late every day, because I couldn't stand seeing them so happy without me.

To get better, I tried to think positive about everything, but there came a point when there was nothing positive left, that couldn’t get beaten by something negative. I started... cutting. I knew it was wrong, but I had to do something. Most people think I exaggerate when I did that just because of some friends, but... those friends were like my family, so when they all left me, I had no one. At first the cuts weren't that deep, just made by a key, and the wounds would heal the same day. But the cutting made me sick – psychically sick, and I started to believe it was the right thing to do. I would cut myself, to make the pain in my heart disappear, but also to punish myself, I just wasn't good enough. The scars got deeper and deeper, but also harder and harder to hide.

By the time I felt like everything was over, my world changed. A friend came into my life, a friend who was just like me. Someone who had been through the same, with the same sickness as me. It didn't take long before we were extremely close, closer than me and my past friends. Although we would talk each other out of cutting, I have to admit there were some times I did it anyway. When the pain became too hard to hold inside. Like a volcano that's just waiting to burst. My cuts on the outside slowly faded away, but those on the inside never did, and I don't think they ever will. Being called 'beautiful' and 'sweet' is just too hard to believe. So when I get called the opposite, I can take it pretty hard, because I believe in it. I have no confidence in myself at all, but still I try to go with the flow, trying to fit in. My sickness still exists, and in time I have realised that it is something you can't heal. I randomly break out crying, about something that happened years ago. It had just had such a big impact on me and my life.

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Claras P.O.V

 

I looked up at him, after having looked down for the whole story. Every memory flashed in my head, and a pain flew straight through my stomach. His face, it was full of nothing. Emptiness. I wanted him to say something, him to hug me and tell me he still liked me, but nothing happened. I felt my eyes getting watery, but I didn't want to seem weak, even though he knew how weak I was. We both just stared out in emptiness, when he finally turned his beautiful eyes my way. 

"I... I don't know what to say" He said, but I could hear that he almost couldn't get the words out. "Now you know my dark side" I whispered, and the water in my eyes got full and slowly started falling down my cheeks. He turned his head away, which made me cry even more. "Stop. Please. Stop." He whispered, and his voice cracked. I stood up and took light steps over to him. I put my hand on his wide shoulder, and just as I had placed it there, he grabbed my shaking hand and pulled me close to him. I could feel he was crying too. 

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