the note

this is my english test first draft for an opening of a mystery story tell me what you think please

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1. the sea side

The squawks of gulls ringing out were a chorus of out of tune choir singers. The smell of the salty sea danced up Chris's nose tinted by the sickly smell of sun block .The sand irritated Laura's skin like ant were up in her clothes. The taste of ice cream was thick and creamy wrestling with the butterscotch sauce. The lapping of the waves crashed on to the beach like they were jumbo jets without engines.

 

"Chris! Laura! Settle down!" the twins mother shouted as Chris and Laura splashed happily in the water “maybe you should come play on the beach now you two". Chris gave his sister, Laura, one final splash and then joyfully skipped back up shore to where his mother was sunbathing. Laura followed a little less happily as she had been enjoying her adventure in the water. “Let’s dig for buried treasure" Chris suggested. They got out the bucket and spade and chose the perfect spot, tucked away in a shaded area.

 

Chris threw himself into the digging, but Laura hung back to see if Chris found anything himself. Clunk. Chris had found something! Laura gave Chris a shove out of way and peered down into the hole. An ear wrenching scream followed! There at the bottom of the whole lay a decrepit hand which was clutching a glass bottle what had a note in. “what? What is it?" Chris asked desperately “woah!!" he gasped when he saw the contents of the hole. Chris bent over to reach for the bottle but Laura held him back. Laura reached carefully down the hole picked up the bottle and skilfully shook the hand off. Laura speedily passed the bottle over to her brother. Carefully Chris slipped the note out of the cold glass bottle. The message read

 

It’s too late it’s over.

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