The Oddball: Story of a human anomaly

Seventeen going on eighteen. Here's the story of my life. No need for high fives. Cocooned in a lie. They say, "Live every day like its your last!". So you mean I must live in panic, huh? A diary is supposed to be private. Personal. But frankly I don't care. Its better if its read. No more lies. No more deceit. Everyone will know exactly how I feel. So here it is. Uncensored. Unedited. And oh yeah 'UN-FiCtionAl'. That's right.

DISCLAIMER: The following opinions are MY own. No way am I intending to hurt anybody's sentiments. The names of characters have been changed to maintain their anonymity. Guessing won't work. So don't sweat it. Just read it and chill. K.

0Likes
0Comments
1163Views
AA

1. You thought it was over? Think Again. And again. And again. And agai....

14th April.

Yes I started another diary. What? I see a smirk there. Yeah I know, I know I never keep my diary upto date but hey its never too late. Right? Well that question seems hollow now. Considering everything that is happening now the evergreen 'never too late' dialogue has turned deciduous. Shedding its leaves just when I needed it. I don't like that formality of calling you 'Dear Diary'. Formality has never been my forte anyway. Life seems delusional now. Although the Great Grand Boards are over, yet now the question of What to do in college hovers over me. Its not a tough question though. In fact there was a time when I would happily answer this question and would dwindle on the answer for long. But then there were endless possibilities. There weren't many parameters to consider. But now its THE parameters that are chocking my decisions. Its awkward. This feeling. So many times in my mind I have re-winded a self-constructed memory of how I would enjoy the time after my boards. Yet now,  there’s a lull. Its like OMG now what? What do I do now? There is a pile of lists I made of what to do, books to read, people to meet etc. etc. in my diary but now they just seem..incomplete. I detest this feeling. Its the apprehension of what will happen - will I get into the college of my choice, will I get the course I want to do, will I end up taking up a course that is good for me and the apprehensions just go on and on an on.  Its like an ongoing radio that just won't stop! Its like the possibilities have been replaced with these ‘brain- frying’ apprehensions. The results come out after 2 months and thats just plain stupidity! I mean give the results soon and get this thing over with! The stress is agonizing. I can't even sleep. I have turned into an insomniac, sleeping for about just 3 to 4 hours a day. I don't know how I am keeping up.Yet people say that life is even tougher than boards. And I am supposedly supposed to feel better by knowing that huh? I have never been the glum emo kinds but then, when have these ‘nevers’ not happened, eh? May be I am PMSing. I hope that's the reason because I do not want to continue with this feeling for long.

When this whole brouhaha is over, I think then I'll be able to sleep. Until then, I am Batman.

 

PS: Boards are a type of exam. Its like SAT. Basically it defines which college you will go to. In other words, it defines the rest of your life.  Yeah it sucks. Big time. That's right.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...