Crisis Definitely Not Averted

A regular party turns into an embarrassing fiasco. For the voices of now contest. Set in 2002.

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1. 3rd/4th May 2002

Friday/Saturday

This is the most embarrassing day of my life.

My legs are killing me. I have no idea why I thought the cupboard downstairs by the front door was a good idea. There’s hardly anywhere to sit down and I am definitely staying clear of the shoe rack because my brother went hiking yesterday and he didn’t clean his boots so there’s mud everywhere.

This is one of those times in life where you just want to go home, have a long bath and a hot chocolate and go to bed and think “one day, I’ll laugh about this.”

No. I will never laugh about this. Ever.

Let me explain what happened. Ok, so I get home from school and it turns out my brother has invited a bunch of people over for a party later as our parents are away for the weekend. Sounds good to me as long as we clean up (they’ll never know). All of my friends are busy though (which totally sucks…). Anyway, little do I know my bro has invited that freak from my English class over – I swear I didn’t know he was friends with him – and it just so happens he has a mega huge crush on me!

Andrew is not a nice guy. Well, maybe he could be, if he wasn’t so desperate to get in bed with a girl. He’s here, but oh no that’s not the worst part.

He got drunk with the alcohol everyone found in our garage, and then he thought that he might have a better change with me as he was swaying around, invading my personal space. Next thing I know, I’m storming off upstairs because he tried to touch my breasts. Still not the worst part.

He freaking followed me. It was even worse in my bedroom thanks to the privacy. Oh god…

Nothing… that bad happened. We were just in there and I was trying to throw him off but then Andrew was all “I’d like to invade your chamber of secrets.”

I have got to say I am a huge fan of Harry Potter. A HUGE fan. I yelled at him to “GET AWAY FROM ME.” and shoved him as hard as I could. He fell over, but then when he got up, his hands were not in a good place.

And by that I mean, by the zip of his jeans.

I don’t even know why I was looking there but… oh GOD.

An 18 year old girl should have seen plenty of naked guys before, right?

Well, you’d be surprised.

I ran out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t know where to go that he wouldn’t follow me. It’s already past midnight so I don’t fancy going outside. Besides, where would I go? Ugh, so this is where I ended up – in a cupboard, hiding.

Oh, no, I think someone’s-

Saturday

My brother found me.

Is it ok to want to murder your siblings? No, wait, is it ok to murder your siblings? ‘Cause I think I might when everyone leaves.

I didn’t really know what to tell him when he asked me what the heck I was doing in a cupboard. I said I was hiding and then he asked me why…

Ok, what I actually said as soon as I opened my mouth was “PENIS.”

Note: Do not talk about male genitals to my brother.

He gave me this really funny look like I’d just eaten my own sick before telling me I should “lay off the booze.”

I hope the party ends soon because I’m no way coming out of this cupboard until it’s over. Although that loud music doesn’t sound very promising.

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