Voice.

Lila is a girl, who for many years, suffered with depression. Once day she heard a voice. Only that voice was a par of her mind. And i wrote this to 21 guns by green day, and wake me up by evanescence. :) hope you like it :D

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1. Voice.

 

“Run! Don’t think, just run! As long as you run, they cant hurt you!” A voice yelled inside my head!

 

Day after day my life grew darker, shriveling up like a piece of fruit left in the sun. I had always felt alone, like no one understood me. Like I was stood on an island, that was slowly drifting away from civilization. But I was never truly alone. Ben had always been there for me, even when no one else was. 

 

Of course Ben was just a voice in my head, but that didn’t matter. I was just glad to have someone to talk to for once. Someone to help keep the balance of light and dark, to help make my life easier. Someone who finally understood me.

 My parents had just thought it was my teenage hormones dictating my life, and that it was just a phase I was going through. That I would grow out of my depression. But it wasn’t. I had felt isolated, and desolated for almost 3 years now. Ben had come along about a year and a half ago, when I was at my worst.

 

I had been sat on my bed, the bedroom door locked. Kicking and hitting the mattress that supported my body, screaming so loud that it blocked out other surrounding sounds. My fisted hands had thrashed violently, punching the springs that were hidden beneath my black bed sheet. Tears had been leaking from my eyes, soaking the pale white covers that I had buried myself in. I had grabbed the razor blade that I kept hidden under my bed, and held it against my wrist.  Sobs pulsing through my body.

I pressed deep, scarlet red blood pouring onto the floor. I had felt all the hurt and the pain, drain out of me. Leaving me hollow. Empty. Emotionless. 

“Press harder.” The deep male voice had said. I flinched, my eyes darting around the room searching for the source of the voice.  But there was no one there... That had been the first thing Ben had ever said to me.

 

Looking back now I’m starting to wonder what would have happened if i’d just ignored him. Ignored the voice that had pushed its way through the barriers of my concealed mind.

 

“Who’s there?” I asked the emptiness. Getting only silence in response. I dropped the blade onto the blood-stained carpet, grabbing a tissue and putting pressure on my wrist. I was officially freaked out.

“Hello?” I asked again, examining the confined spaces of my small plain white room. 

“Hello Lila.” I jumped, letting a small yelp slip from my pale lips.

“Who’s there? Where are you?” I spun round in a circle.

“Don’t worry Lila... I’m here to help you. My name is Ben.” Great, I had officially gone crazy. But that wasn’t what had scared me. What had scared me the most; was that I didn’t mind that I was hearing voices, well a voice, and that I believed what he was saying.

 

And now here I was a year later, sitting on the edge of a cliff, my legs dangling over the edge talking to myself.

“I hate her.” I growled. “I hate everyone.”

“They don’t understand you Lila.” Ben agreed.

“You’re the only one that understands me Ben. You’re the only person I can talk to.”

“I know. Why don’t you show them how much you hate them.”

A tear fell down my cheek. “How?” I asked wiping my eyes, intrigued by what he was saying.

“You need to make them know how much you hate them, and how much they’ve hurt you.”

“Yeah... but how do I do that?!” I asked, my hands gripping the jagged edge of the cliff.

“Jump.” He whispered.

“What?” I asked, thinking I had misheard him.

“Jump.” He repeated. “It’s the only way to show them.”

“I don’t know...”

“It’s the only way!” He interrupted, his voice sounding more urgent. I began to feel doubtful of what he was saying, relaxing my grip of the rocks, I got to my feet.

“Lila, I’m trying to help you! Help you free yourself!”

“I know... I trust you.” I replied, my doubts disintegrating into thin air. This was Ben, my friend. He wouldn’t hurt me. He wanted to help me. He knew what to do.

 

I pulled my mobile from the pocket of my black baggy jumper, flipping it open. I opened a blank text message, addressing it to all my ‘friends’ and ‘family.’

 

‘I just wanted to let you know that you are the reason why. You are the reason why I felt this way. Now I’m going to show you just how much you hurt me. Ben was the only one who was there for me.

So this is me saying goodbye. But you don’t even deserve a goodbye.’ I hit send, chucking my phone onto the hard surface.

“That’s it Lila. Let them know just how they made you feel.” His voice was clear and loud, echoing around in my head. Bouncing off the hollow spaces in my mind.

 

My toes curled over the edge, my head beginning to feel light.

“Ben? Ben, are you sure about this?”

“Yes Lila, don’t you trust me? This is the only way!” His voice replied, his tone harsh.

“Okay. I trust you.” 

 

And with that, I jumped. 

Throwing myself into the open space in front of me, my body soaring through the air like a bird...

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