Diary of a Daydreamer

Psychological Thriller, Take a journey throught the eyes of an addict who quickly delves deeper into the interwoven realms of reality and fiction. Dark Humour.

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15. Confronting Life

I arise from my death, reborn and ready to face any challenge that I may face. I’m ready to overcome any obstacle that stands in my way. Just have to get out of these handcuffs first. Trixie enters the room; she’s holding a tray of food and drinks. Even though coming from this vixen, I have to accept the fact that I have not eaten in days. I tell her that it is impossible for me to eat without the use of my hands. She looks down with a hint of sadness and she explains to me that she cannot untie me as I would surely lash out. I beg her to tell me what this is all about and why she made me go through that torment. I plead her to tell me how after all these years she could betray me like this. Her eyes turn to mine in anger and she repeats to herself my last question, “How could I betray you?” she repeats it again, aghast by the question she slaps me. She raises her voice in anger asking if I had looked at myself lately, asking if I knew what I have become. She tells me how after all these years she’s seen me self-destruct and fall to pieces since Anya came and left my life. She yells at me in tears wanting me to see the pain that I’ve given all the people that love and care about me. I ask her if she cares about me, how she can justify tying me up, how she can justify poisoning me. She tells me that I haven’t been myself the last few months, maybe even years; this was the only way she knew how to help me, the only way to surpass my addiction that I refused to admit I have. I don’t have an addiction; I just have a lot of pain. It’s only been the last few days that have been distracted by Lauren entering my life. I know that I’ve been acting strange but the loss of love can change a man, I’d be more concerned if it didn’t. I demand to be told about why they had to leave the room to talk about Rick. She turns to me confused saying they never talked about him. I become enraged telling her how I overheard the whole conversation about the muggers beating him up. Her eyes now etched with fear, she tells me how she didn’t realise how much my mind had been malformed; she tells me that they weren’t talking about Rick, they were talking about me. Her comment stops me in my tracks. That can’t be true, I yell at her with all my soul! How can she lie to my face like that! She asks me how I first met Anya. My mind is blank; I reach to the deepest part of my memory yet I still can’t say. She tells me how all the drugs and self-preservation has destroyed my mind. She runs her fingers along my face. I feel her fingers run along my scars, along each disfigured mark. She hands me a mirror, and tells me to actually look, see and remember. I see into the mirror at a face, a face full of dents and wounds that I received all those years ago.

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