A "casual" shopping trip

Just a short story focusing on dialogue, a scene which I imagine could happen in life! :P

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1. A "casual" shopping trip

“Please can we get a move on Grandma? I haven’t got all day.”      “Oh stop whinging! We’ve only been here for an hour. Besides, I haven’t even looked at the furniture yet.”      Marks and Spencer’s: my grandma’s favourite shop in the world. She says that it’s the only shop that she ever needs to go to since it sells everything that she needs (mainly wants). Unfortunately today was my duty to be dragged around her monthly tour of the store as my grandpa has taken ill, not that I blame him.      “Mum, do I really have to take her shopping? I’ve got better things to be doing than going around M&S!”      “Don’t be so horrible Alex” said my mum, “You know that your grandma is struggling to cope with her husband being in hospital. I know that you haven’t always seen eye to eye, but it will be a good opportunity for you to try and get on better with her.”      It is true; I don’t get on with my grandma. A lot of the things that she does really annoy me. Such as when we had just walked into Marks and Spencer’s, a young woman walked by in very high heeled stiletto shoes and was wearing a short black skirt.      “Good God! Look at her” my grandma said very loudly, “prancing around in those silly shoes and with her bare legs on display! What a tart!”      “Grandma! Sssshhh!” I tried to silence her, “you’re making a scene.”      I tried to focus my attention on the poor woman, walking briskly past the lingerie section to avoid further embarrassment, as people looked at my grandma and I wondering what the hell happened. I was also irritated at how my grandma would take a piece of clothing from a railing and then put it right up to my face and ask, “How do you think this would look on me?”      “It’s very fetching,” I said when she showed me a vile green flower patterned dress.      “No Alex, I didn’t ask what you think of it!” she snapped back at me, “I asked you how you think this would look on me?”       “I think that it would suit you very well,” I replied. One thing I know is that my grandma doesn’t understand sarcasm and I loved to use it often to my advantage.      “Ok then, I’ll go and try it on then,” she said, “Now take these and follow me!”      I had to hold for her a great heap of clothes that she had found while she was dawdling around the rails and then of course, I had to tell her that she could only try on four garments when the sales assistant refused to let her try on twenty pieces of clothing.      “What right do you have to tell me that I can’t try on all this clothing?” my grandma started to lecture the nervous assistant, “I should be able to try on as much clothing as I want. Think about it you stupid man; it’s your loss if you don’t…”      “That’s enough Grandma” I interrupted, “I think that he gets the message. Now how about trying on these clothes.”       I randomly picked out four garments and gently shoved her into a changing cubicle, at least away from the sales assistant who looked at me in anger, as if it was my fault that my grandma acts the way that she does.      Finally after about twenty minutes, she had finished trying on the clothes, although she was still wearing the horrid green dress when she opened the curtain.      “Get a move on Grandma and put back on your other clothes,” I demanded.      “I absolutely love this dress,” she completely ignored me; “I love it so much that I want to wear it now!”      “But Grandma, you need to pay for it first” I said, realising that the colour of the dress actually matched her attitude.      “Oh sush Alex, it’ll be fine. Here, take this.”      She had pulled off the price label, expecting it to be fine to waltz out of the changing room still wearing the dress. It would look like as if she was shop lifting though, so I told her that we would need to go straight to the check out to pay for it. I couldn’t be doing with telling her to take it off.      People waiting in the queue cast odd glances at us, I’m sure we looked quite the spectacle. There was me, standing reluctantly and looking embarrassingly away next to my barmy grandma with no fashion sense. Maybe I shouldn’t have let her try on the green dress, but secretly I was glad that she was being humiliated by other people without her even realising it.      Just as I was about to walk over to the vacant counter, my grandma grabbed my arm and pulled me away.      “What are you doing?” I asked her.      “I’m not going to be served by some Woga-Woga!” she protested, looking scornfully at the dark coloured man waiting to serve, “Why are people like him working here? Why don’t they just stay where they…”      “Grandma! Shut up!” I shouted, “I’ve really had enough of you today! I don’t care who serves us, now come on! I’ve got better things to be doing than being dragged around…”      Two security guards took an arm each of my grandmother and started to escort her away, talking to her in a patronizing way, “Now you can’t just insult our staff like that or just walk around the shop in new clothes without paying for them first, you know.”      I saw her being dragged away to the back of the shop and she was protesting to be let go, declaring her rights and freedom of speech. I apologized to the man at the checkout on behalf of my insulting grandmother and walked out of the shop without her… I’ve had enough of her, I really have!

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