Never love again?

An epic and moving story about a young girl of adolesant age who encounters both death and love in quick sucssion causing her to view life in an outlandish way.

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1. A confusing life

Sunday morning, my favourite day. Every Sunday we go to vist my dad, he is in hospital with cancer. It has been very hard on my mum as they have been together forever or thats what they use to tell me. Secretly my mum believes it is the end and their forever cut short but im positive he will make it. Walking to my dads ward has become second nature to me, I know it like the back of my hand. Normally we would sit with him for a few hours, talk to his doctor then go for a snack in the canteen not that we ever eat much. Today was different, horribly different. When we arrived at his ward he was not there. We checked three other wards just to see if he had been moved but he was nowhere to be seen. A young nurse entered looking extremly uncomfortable. It was obvious but we did not want to except it, we could not except it. H e was gone...........forever.

I went to school on Monday but my head was spinning and I felt empty inside. Have you ever lost someone or something that means the world to you? Then you know how I feel. Even my best friend Felix could not cheer me up and he is the kind of boy who falls off his chair or trips over his own feet. He tried so hard to make me feel better by saying every comforting thing he knew but nothing seemed joyful or funny anymore. I was like a zombie, I was missing halve of me. I could not consentrate in class in Maths my adding was wrong and in English my senteces did not make sense. Even Art was a struggle, Arts normally my best subject but today my lines were wonky and my work seemed pointless to me. Art was before break so when the bell went Mr Bark, my teacher, kept me back. His face said it all for him, he had heard about my dad and was now worried about me. Suddenly I felt five years old and let it all out there and then. I cried and cried and cried till I was red in the face and shivering all over. Of course I ghad cried before, everyone has but ive never cried like this. While I was crying I made a promise to myself, I would never love again as when the people you love always dissapear and it hurts when they do.

I got sent home but it was far worse at home then being at school. Photos of my dad were all over the houseand his old work cloths were still in the wardrobe as we did nto have the heart to give them away. His shoes were still in the hall way and his car keys in the key pot. I went upstairs but it was worse memories rushed back of him reading to me at night, tucking me up in his bed if I had a bad dream. In his room was the worset as his smell was still there and his book on his pillow where he left it his book mark near the end. Mum came home and cried with me and we shared memories about him but it made us feel worse so we gave up and went to bed.

The next day I went back to school I could npt bare to be at home. When I walked into school everyone was whipering and the girls had huge grins on their faces. At first I thought they were whispering about me but then I saw why a new boy had joined the school. Lucy Smith was saying his name loud enough for the dead to hear acting like she was his girlfriend. His name was James everyone was talking about him but he was only talking to me. Later that day he overed to walk me home. I  had to remeber my promise but when he spoke to me my worries floated away and I felt as light as a feather. It was to hard to resist I needed to love again......

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