Thinking

My dad left us when i was really young. He left for no reason. My parents divorce had a massive impact on my life, even tough i've never shown it or expressed it before, it did. Therefore i have based my poem on him, and how confused he left me feeling about love.

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1. thinking....

When I’m alone, I start to think,

When I think I always think of you,

When I think of you I remember,

When I remember, I remember us being together,

When I remember us together I cry,

When I cry I remember dad,

When I remember him, it all goes bad.

The dreams come back,

What it was like running after him in a forest,

Wanting him to come back,

Screaming as he turned around,

Looking at me as if for the last time,

Making a picture of me so that he would never forget,

Forget the face of the daughter who had to face him in court.

When I remember court, I remember the divorce,

When I remember the divorce I always remember what people told me,

They said it’s not your fault,

You’re only a child; it has nothing to do with you.

Well if It’s not, Then what happened?

What made him fall out of love?

The only thing that happened between now and then was me,

I was born,

I made them argue.

When I remember the arguments I remember the talks,

The It’s not your fault talks,

The talks that kept me up thinking,

Wanting to know the real reason behind it all,

The talks which left me so confused about love.

So I think that when a parent gives its child that “it’s not your fault” talk,

They should say three things:

One, love is hard,

Two, nothing lasts for ever.

And three, okay so maybe a bit of it is your fault...  

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