Loveless

Falling for my friend;
Beautiful, and tragic.
Simple, still complicated.

Strange.
But, perfect.

'I'm loveless.
I want to you love less.

But every day, I love you more'.




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1. Loveless

It's not about me. [Ha, that's partly true.]

It's a poem/short story I wrote a few months ago, and this is what I think true love is all about. A sincere longing for someone, for something that seems out of reach, but only takes a little bit of courage and a little bit of faith to chase and grab. And even though it was a journey, long or short, you know that it was worth it once you have it.

 

 

It’s not that I’m loveless in like I don’t love anyone. I do; I love you.

It’s not that I’m loveless, as in I don’t have anyone. I have someone – you.

It’s not that I’m loveless, ‘unloved’. I’m loved, without a doubt... by you.

 

 

But I wish that I could love less.

 

Love you less.

Maybe if I loved less, I wouldn’t be so loveless.

 

 

Maybe if I loved less, I wouldn’t wish for things I could never have. They say nothing’s impossible – you are. They say never say never, but... I can never have you.

You’re always there, yet so far away. You’re such a good friend, always.

 

Friend. Always.

 

I wish it wasn’t like that.

 

My wishes usually come true in my dreams. Even there, I’ve thought about this, Over and over, and over and over

But always ends the same.

Loveless. I’m loveless, every time.

 

What if?

If told you how I felt. Everything.

From how you find a way to lift me up every day,

To how you can keep me ever grounded –

And more, and so much more.

 

If you loved me too. If... If only.

 

My mind struggles to process such fantasies, It’s just breaks me down. It’s too complicated, too abnormal, too... You.

 

Lately, you’re on my mind. I don’t know why.

 

Simply unexplainable.

 

 

I go to bed, think about you.

I wake up; still thinking of you.

No one else makes me feel like you do.

Just your smile can brighten up my life.

And yet, you’re always with me, but completely out of reach.

 

It doesn’t make sense.

But it’s perfect.

 

To me, you are perfect. And you’ll always be the perfect friend.

Always. Friend.

 

 

I hope to change that someday.

Maybe tomorrow, maybe today.

Sometime...

 

Never.

I’m loveless. I want to love you less.

 

But every day, I love you more.

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