1. I Wish It Would Stop
I'm curled up in the empty corridor, the lights had been turned off, and my long shadow was the only company. The classrooms looked like ghosts in their emptiness. I felt hollow too, but at least they had objects in them, I had nothing, nothing but the scars on my heart. Today had been terrible. I didn't even picture a day like this in my worst nightmares, the ones that would haunt me for weeks.
I was in school, with my knees drawn up to my chest, alone in one of the corridors, not even attempting to quiet my sobs. I gripped the front of my shirt, desperately wanting to be something as lifeless, for the sole mercy I wouldn't have to suffer this. They say it'll get better, but I know it won't. They say they're here for me, but never at the right times. I guess that makes me as alone as anything. Alone, and the odd one out. I bet High School wasn't as difficult for other people.
I've been reading this book about a girl, who meets a boy, and he solves all her problems. Sometimes I wish that would happen to me, but then I remember the pact I made to myself, I would never fall into anything that wasn't secure, whether it be love, or otherwise. My heart didn't need to be broken over again.
You probably wonder what's up with me, but I'll tell you now it's not easy to explain, it's a long, complicated and painful story. One I'll save for another time. But what I will say is that I'm the class crybaby, miss un-popular, the freak. Call me what you want. It won't make a difference to what I already hear. My eyes are sore, and I'm shivering and shuddering with every sob I breath, but I won't go home, I can't. I'm not safe anywhere.