Ignored

Well - This poem is definitely being ignored, so this really seems like you don't have to read it, to know what it feels like to be ignored.. ;p

Hope you like it, for all the good it'll do :D


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1. I wish

Oh God

I wish I could stay  

Just a little more  

Just a few seconds  

Just enough for me  

To get noticed  

I want to run everyone over  

I want myself to shine  

Brightly  

Like the Sun  

Even though I know  

That I can’t  

It’s just that  

A wish  

Childish  

I know  

But what can I do  

I am alone  

I want to be with someone  

I want to be a team  

I want another person  

Just another person  

Just one person  

Such a small wish  

I wonder  

If maybe  

I could make myself visible  

Maybe I could lend glasses out  

Glasses  

Which could make everyone look at me  

Hey!  

People!  

Look at me!  

I am right here!  

But it’s only hope  

And hope disappoints  

If nothing truly happens  

If that light there  

Just vanishes  

My hope  

Will crush  

And I’ll sit alone  

Again  

And I’ll be lonelier than before  

And it’ll hurt  

Because I’ve tried it before  

And everybody says  

I have to hope  

But what’s there to hope about  

If you know the outcome  

If the conclusion is always the same  

If nobody will bother looking at you  

Even though  

You are standing  

Totally naked  

In the cold  

And I’ve tried  

And I got sick  

A fever  

The flu  

There was also some vomiting included  

And you see  

What that got me into  

Nobody noticed  

Nobody even bothered to  

And I felt so alone  

So sick and tired  

How much can a person hope  

Is there a limit  

Where does hope hide  

In your heart  

In your stomach  

Or in your brain  

Is hope just imagination  

Is it  

Can’t I stop hoping  

It’s tiresome  

Bothering  

But I really wish somebody would  

Notice me, you know  

I really wish  

To feel another person beside me  

Looking at me  

Starting a conversation  

Smiling  

Laughing  

Even giggling  

I don’t care  

Just somebody  

Because I am so lonely  

And who can I ride the bus with  

Where do I sit in the cafeteria  

The seat beside me is always empty  

In class  

And I am really lonely  

Even the teacher doesn’t bother  

He doesn’t even notice my hand  

Raising in the air  

Every time I know the answer  

To his question  

It’s like I am invisible  

As if I don’t live in this world  

Even when I get a hundred on a test  

Nobody congratulates me  

The teacher doesn’t even hand me  

The test  

I just notice  

My own absence  

And like a moron  

I walk up to the desk  

And the teacher doesn’t even reprimand me  

Doesn’t even scold me  

And I take my paper  

And even though I’ve written my name  

In really big letters  

And even though I scored a hundred  

He doesn’t say anything  

Just scolds Jake  

Who didn’t even bother to write the answers down  

And he smiles at Mary  

Who really doesn’t know anything  

Who cheats every time  

Because I’ve seen her  

And the teacher really thinks  

That she is so brilliant  

Even though  

Everyone in class knows  

What she does  

And why am I bothering  

To fit in here  

When nobody wants me  

I don’t even know  

But I know  

That when I get out of class  

This afternoon  

I walk  

Not home  

Because I am not turning right  

I walk  

To the sea  

And I turn left and right and right again  

And I walk a really long time  

And there it is  

The sea  

Glittering  

The sun shimmering on its surface  

And I wonder  

If I fell down in the water  

Would it swallow me  

Or would I be ignored  

And I step up to the edge  

And I can see the waves  

Crashing into the wall  

As if it’s angry  

As if it wants to be heard  

And I feel the droplets  

On my bare legs  

And maybe I smile  

Just a little bit  

Because that angry wave  

Bothered to touch me  

Even when the anger  

Ran over it  

Like the sun  

Shimmering on its surface  

And I decide  

Because  

This is my only hope  

And people should hope  

I decide  

That I’ll let myself fall  

Into the water  

And if the water rejects me  

This means  

I’d have no hope  

Whatsoever  

Even if I tried my whole life  

And if the water embraced me  

And let me sink  

I would forever be thankful  

Because the water  

As the only being  

On this planet  

Didn’t ignore me  

Like everyone else  

Like my parents  

Or my sister  

Or my schoolmates  

And teachers  

So I think it’s hope  

That surges in my veins  

And I take a step  

The step deciding my future  

Be it damned or blessed  

I take this step  

And maybe I hear someone call me  

Or maybe it’s just hope  

And I let myself fall  

And I remember  

That I can’t swim  

But I don’t care  

And the water  

It embraces me  

And I am smiling  

Even though I can’t breath  

But you seldom breath  

When water gushes inside you  

Because you can choke  

And maybe I am choking  

But I am also glad  

Because this water  

This beautiful and magnificent sea  

Allowed me to enter  

Accepted my life  

And took me  

And even though I am gone  

And somebody is standing on the shore  

Shouting  

Calling  

For help maybe  

And even though  

The person’s tears are falling into the water  

Merging with the salt molecules  

And H-atoms and Oxygen  

Even though everybody is standing on the shore now  

Feeling panic and grief and disappointment  

This being  

That was accepted by the sea  

Went away  

And even if the body was rejected  

The soul was swallowed  

Whole and sweet  

And the soul smiled and felt blessed  

Though everybody else  

Felt at loss  

What could they do  

When this human being  

Be it daughter or friend  

Sister or cousin  

Had gone  

Because of them  

And everybody felt ashamed  

But nothing could make her appear  

Again  

Not grief  

Or anger  

Not any feeling  

Could make her walk back  

And maybe you’ve realized  

Your mistakes  

But  

Nothing will make her come back  

Because  

When you’ve lost something  

You can’t make it appear again

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