look at me

noget jeg er begyndt på - er åben for respons

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1. I hate you

”Look at me!” I turned my head, and stared directly into her eyes. ” You are good, even though you don’t believe it yourself”. She was crying now, and still, I just looked at her, as if she was from another world. ” You won’t do this! You can’t! You still have feelings. Emotions”.  She was begging me now. It would maybe have been heart aching if it was anyone but me listening to this. “ People care for you! I care. We can all fix this. Make it good again. You can get your life back. You don’t have to be like this” she said something else too, but she choked in her words, and I was unable to understand whatever she said. “Please”. Her prayer was only a whisper, but I heard it, and for the first time in years, I felt something. Amusement maybe… pity? I weren’t able to recognize the feeling, so I turned it off, pretending it wasn’t there somewhere deep in my heart. I stroke her hair, and she looked at me with hope in her eyes. Then I thrust the knife deep into her chest, ending her life. 

 

“I hate you!” Her voice rang in my head, like a never-ending echo that kept repeating it self over and over again. Most people would have been sad, hearing those words from their sister, but I knew I deserved them, and maybe, somewhere I wasn’t really her sister anymore. By name I was off course, nothing would ever be able to change it, but by heart? I wasn’t sure anymore. I wasn’t really sure of anything anymore.

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