Tyler’s Journey To Self-Discovery

Tyler is 16 years of age, he lives with his parents who are Orthodox Christians, and so far he’s lived a perfectly normal Christian life. But lately something has been rattling his cage !!

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1. Part One

After going for a usual Sunday service he was walking down his local high street with his parents, they were all discussing who should they invite round for Sunday dinner next Sunday, the parents were arguing amongst themselves leaving Tyler to follow behind to day dream.

As Tyler was walking, he was looking around and reading signs in the shops about new offers and sales as he would usually do when he was bored, but as he was reading a sign a man walked in front on his mobile. Tyler stopped and looked at the man and suddenly felt a feeling of attraction. This man was wearing a navy blue work suit and carrying a black briefcase; his phone was a Blackberry but looked very old and plastic. Tyler had no idea why he felt like this, the man realised that Tyler was staring at him and walked up to him asking “is everything alright ??”, “yes, fine, nothing don’t worry about it” Tyler stuttered, the man shrugged and walked away leaving Tyler gobsmacked. His parents hadn’t noticed Tyler has lagged behind so he ran to catch them up. Once Tyler had caught up he started to think about what just happened, only once he got home after a 15 minute walk he finally click that he might be ‘turning’ Gay. His facial expression went from confused to terrified. Tyler didn’t mind gays but his parents were furiously against them, nothing to do with homosexuality was allowed in the house, no Elton John music and if anything on TV came up, don’t be surprised if it the channel was changed, I always missed episodes of Eastenders.

He decided to go upstairs and decide what to do next, should he come out ??, NO, too soon.. I mean come on it was only a small feeling... right ??

He called his best friend Yazmin on his ancient Nokia, Yazmin was a flamboyant and hyper person, caused no fuss or drama, was just the heart of the party that everyone loved. Tyler explained to her what happened, but he didn’t realise how loud he was talking. His parents were sitting downstairs watching the TV but could hear vividly what Tyler was saying, Tyler’s father Dominic gasped “Oh dear lord he isn’t !?!?”, Dominic raced up the stairs and forced Tyler’s door open, Tyler hesitated on the phone and froze as his father was staring him in the eye, for about 10 seconds all was to be heard was Yazmin asking over the phone if anyone was still there.

Dominic still staring at his son slowly and ever so slightly turned his head to the right, and started to walk over to Tyler, grabbing his phone and disconnecting the call. Dominic grabbed Tyler by his arm and fast walked him out of his room, down the stairs and out of the door. Tyler was very confused to what was going on but could hear some muttering between his parents, he did hear Yazmin’s name but just thought it was to do about the call.

After about a minute his parents came out the house and Dominic re-grabbed him by the arm and pushed Tyler into the passenger seat of his car and put the child lock on, then sat himself into the driver seat, started the car and began to drive towards the church. Tracey, Tyler’s mum went into her own car but drove off in the other direction. Once they arrived at the church Dominic was no longer escorting Tyler by the arm but was more calmed but still followed Tyler into the church and told him to get into the confessions box. Tyler agreed and climbed inside and closed the door, where Dominic got a stall and place it under the door handle, and called for a priest for his son.

After a short while a priest walked past the box and sighed about the stall but left it there, and climbed into the other side of the confessions box. Tyler mumbled “Forgive me father for I have sinned... I’m not sure how you start these things, I’m only going on what I have seen in movies”, the priest laughed and asked what was wrong. Tyler explained his situation and his feelings towards this man, the priest was baffled and became more distant the more Tyler explained. Tyler finished his story and all was silent for what seemed like an eternity before a voice saying, “What you are feeling is wrong, it isn’t what God sees in you and is unnatural is every way shape and form, you cannot choose to be homosexual and be a follower of God and be allowed passage into heaven. Do not continue this rebellion as it will just cause shame to yourself and your family.”

Tyler was gobsmacked over what was just said, and sternly replied “I’m not choosing to do anything, it was just a moment of me feeling something completely strange, I’m searching for help and you’re telling me I’m evil !!"

The priest seemed very insulted about what Tyler has just said, and grunted “The Bible is Gods words and is right in every way, we follow the Bible to follow God, and we know this because it says it in the Bible, follow or be abandoned”

Tyler politely demanded “Erm... can you let me out please”

“Certainly” replied the priest sarcastically.

The priest escorted Tyler to the doors and pushed him out of the church and closed the doors, as he was closing the doors he muttered at Tyler sinisterly “May God has mercy on your soul”

Tyler felt cheated, he searched for his dad’s car but it was nowhere to be seen and he didn’t have his mobile, so he started to walk to the only person he knew he could trust.

He is very confused to what is going on at this point, guessing scenarios in his head and guessing the outcome, and most of them ended badly with a lot of arguing and suffering.

After reaching Yazmin’s road he walked towards her house, but could hear his parent’s voices, he then saw both his parents cars parked next to each other.

He saw his parents in Yazmin’s front room stood up in front of Yazmin accusing her of putting Tyler up to being Gay, Yazmin denied everything and told them it is completely natural, Yazmin’s parents didn’t seem concerned that Tyler’s parents were having a go at her. After a while of arguing Tracey slapped Yazmin !! Tyler gasped in shock !! Confusion and fear turned to pure anger, Tyler found the largest rock he could find, stood in front of the lounge window, aimed for his mother and threw it as hard as he could !! *SMASH* shards of glass exploded in all directions, decelerating the rock dramatically. The rock ended up landing on Tracey’s foot, she screamed in agony. Tyler was wide eyed and furious staring at his mother, only to realise Yazmin and her parents staring at him, Yazmin in shock and the parents in disgust. Tyler began to run, he ran and ran, he saw a car coming up behind him, he sprinted, gasping for air only to realise it wasn’t one of his parents cars.

For 3 hours he continued to walk before spotting a B&B in the distance. He walked along the hard shoulder of the motor way until he arrived at the B&B, he paid the man for a room. Tyler was given room 123, he giggled and said “I’ve always wanted a room like that.”

He went up to his room and passed out on his bed.

The next day he woke up feeling awful, he just had a dream of his father beating him up and his mother holding Yazmin back, forcing her to watch. He came to the conclusion he couldn’t return any time soon, so he scavenged the room until he found a pen and paper and began to write a letter to Yazmin explaining and apologising. He sealed it in an envelope, went downstairs to the lobby, gave the key in and bought a stamp. Tyler licked the back of the stamp and put in on the envelope and walked out searching for a post box.

He found one, walked up to it and hesitated... He got both hands and pushed it into it, the letter disappearing into the red box. Tyler turned around and walked away, he muttered under his breath with teary eyes “it’s all about to change”.

!! END OF PART ONE !!

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